It’s been a while since I’ve been on here. Been a while since I felt as if I needed to be here. I’ve finally noticed that I’m sick and tired. The games, the smiles, the laughs, the lies–it’s exhausting. It’s getting to exhausting to keep smiling and laughing and pretending I’m okay–my life feels like one big lie and I think I’m finally drowning again.
But this time, I don’t think I’ll be able to get this weight off my ankle. It’s dragging me down, further deeper into the dark and cold water.
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I spend my days at work taking care of and reassuring everyone else. Then I go home and do the same thing. The whole time I am dying inside. I get so tired putting up the fascade. Putting on a smile and happy face when all I want to do is lie in bed curled in a fetal position. I am so tired.