No purpose

I am finally at a point where I have realised I do not have a purpose or that my purpose in life has been fulfilled. What is left? Only one action I suppose.

I am constantly tired, I want to sleep constantly. I’m tired of trying to please everyone, do the so called right thing, I’m tired of having nightmares. When does this stop, does it stop?

Self harm is a like a drug, it’s an ecstasy giving me a sense of euphoria and life but it’s frowned upon, why? It’s called selfish, why? Because it hurts other people? When you you haven’t been through enough sh**t to feel emotional pain, giving yourself physical pain stops you from going insane.

Yesterday at work I was talking to you a guy and he had a razor blade and he was cutting through blue tac back and forth and I was fixated on it.

The word “life” is a short word and maybe that’s how your life is meant to be, short.
There are points in your life when people promise you everything, they’ll always be there but like everything people always leave especially in your time of need. Iv started to think maybe that’s just human nature or just selfishness. I would never dream of leaving anyone in their time of need.

I’m tired of of getting fucked over all the time, I’m tired feeling like that, I’m tired of living. So why not just fuck myself over.