It doesn’t seem worth living. Being chronically ill is a handful to say the least. Living with multiple physical and mental illnesses is ridiculously hard and is very damaging to overall quality of life. I’ve been through enough in these 23 years. From abuse to abusing myself, I have just had enough.
I have a fascination with ending my life. It’s always been an option for me since I was a kid. I’ve attempted multiple times but they weren’t lethal enough. The best way I’ve tried is partial hanging but after I black out the flight kicks in and my eyes shoot open and then I untie myself down. Leaving me muscles tightening and my vision and hearing to become disoriented. Very painful. Especially dealing with chronic pain, those after effects get to you.
I have been making an extensive plan though. I have outweighed the options like I’ve done all my life and now is the time to actually complete it. Living the life I’m living- all these illnesses, the loneliness, the fear, not having a place to call home, family doesn’t understand, friends lessen as time passes.. and this pain, this severe, aching, stabbing, cramping, pinching, monstrous pain is tearing my world apart every single day. This year will be the end of me.
1 comment
I hope you last year goes well. Your free to do whatever you want so make your last year a good one. 🙂