If I live an average life, I’ve still got at least 40 years to go. My entire life and I’ve still got 2 more times what I’ve lived thus-far to go. God thats a depressing thought, even more so knowing I won’t get 2 more childhoods to go with it. Literally all the time I have ever experienced on this earth, I have to experience twice more. This must be what hell is like.
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You reminded me of something I haven’t poured much thought into. Forty years at the least. I can’t even plan one year ahead. Half life spent on medicating. But I can try to dream if I can dream good, to earn much and spend the remaining forty in a hut away from anyone’s reach. That thought brings me peace. Nearby a soft forest making tea on a silent hill no ambitions and no pressure no human voices.
Yes, that kind of thoughts run through my head oten. Life is hell indeed. The only thing is: if hell waits for me after this life, i can make this life shorter by suicide but hell is eternal, so what’s the difference?
Same. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Maybe just sit and think. Sit and think for forty years. I like to think. Not so much sit. Maybe I’ll walk a lot.