Okay, so if I’m being honest….I want to die…..before I met my boyfriend of eight months I was in a bad place. An awful place….as in I tried actively to die. Then he came along and essentially was my Prince Charming and swept me off my feet, but now I know that fairy tale endings don’t exist. He’s mad at me, he’s ignoring me ,all because my phone is dying and won’t recieve texts and he thinks I’m lying. So I’m about to lose the one thing that saved me in the first place, the one thing that I lived for. I know your probably thinking that I’m intensely immature for wanting to die because of a boy, but it’s not that, he was my lifeline (they come in all shapes and sizes) but now I’m going to lose him and if I’m honest I’m experiencing so much pain that I might die of heartbreak anyway(it’s possible I checked). To top it all off, the one person that was always there for me during these times has died recently. I don’t know what to do…guess I’m just here as a last resort…hoping that someone understands this pain and will listen…
5 comments
In all honesty, his behaviour is far from ideal, to put it lightly. Trust forms a large part of any relationship’s foundation, and unfortunately it seems that he doesn’t trust you. Think about why you want to die, and try to deal with that. In the end, it’s only ourselves that can save us.
Having another in our lives can definitely help us with dealing with our issues, however that’s from support and a constructive relationship where both sides build each other up. When we use a relationship as a band-aid, and a distraction from our issues, is when it gets dangerous. Have you two
ever talked about your issues?
O and sorry about the loss of that one person. When people like that leave our lives, it’s quite a blow. Just think about the conversations you had with that person, and think what that person would want you to do. Honour their memory.
Well said, Sad Potato. The irrational distrust by the BF is HIGHLY concerning and my gut response to that type of behavior is “Run! Do not walk away from this person – RUN”. This type of behavior is classic in dominating abusive relationships.
I know there’s more to this but please think long and hard as to whether this person is really an honorable knight, or just a charlatan and vampire.
wary dawg
If the relationship is going to survive, you both need to open communication, he needs to get help for his trust issues, both need to work on getting healthier ect.
you remind me a lot of myself when i was younger.. (i’m just assuming you’re younger then me). I was insecure in love.. i still am. The heart break and pain was so raw with him. I remember lying in bed for what felt like days just wanting to die but too depressed and numb to do anything. I just prayed every night i wouldn’t wake up. I was always disappointed when i did. All because of a guy. I think this is normal though.. losing attachment with someone is hard.
But…I know it wasn’t just the guy… it was the feeling of rejection. It just confirmed to me that i was dirt, disgusting, wretched and unloveable. Everything i already thought about myself.
It was horrible but I lived through it.
You will find a way too.. be kind to yourself *hugs*
Thank you all for your kindness, I’m going to try my hardest to work things out but if not, then I guess it wasn’t meant to be. I do hate myself, which I suppose is why this hurts so much. I just don’t know how to not hate myself. Thank you all for your support!!! It’s good to know that someone out there cares!