I visited relatives this Christmas, it was nice to see everyone but naturally I had a few too many drinks one night and let the veneer slip. So at least one other relative knows how fucked up I am. I really have to remember not to drink, it brings me nothing but misfortune. The trouble […]

I get in stages like this, In my life which just seem so wrong. I hurt so many people, with no happiness with myself. There are so many things that I want to leave. But so many things I want to move to, but they are so far, there is no point. So I wake […]

The cut was small.
And then it became deeper
and deeper
and deeper
The shiny white tendon in my arm began to burn as the blade took one nick after another.
The vien, like a hose, shot steady streams of blood onto the ground of my balcany like a pool.
Putting out one cigarette after another into the mirror of crimson […]

I was suicidal as a teenager and in college, but so much of that early pain was fear of not being able to make it in this world. The thought of self-termination was really just an anxiety relief machanism that I would use; and never really believed I would actually carry out. It eased the […]