I’m tired, I will keep this short…I have tried to get through this, no matter what I do, it is getting more and more difficult! Friday, my gf tells me she doesn’t know if she’s in love with me – my perception of her behaviors for the last 2 months and then hearing that, she’s done with me. I’ve already alienated my family back home, their mouths cause me that much more heartache. My girlfriend, gave me all of my driver, my ambition, my desire to succeed and it’s all gone now. I am starting to feel the courage that I need to just get […]
Jax910
Today I woke up alone. The entire day so far I’ve held back from crying, I can’t hold it back. The thoughts of ending are more and more. It’s just so difficult because I know it’s not the right decision but the easiest way out of it. The feelings of nervousness and sadness are growing. The thoughts of ending it, although prevalent in my mind are hidden outwardly. I don’t want to do this anymore.
Yesterday was a pretty good day…last night and today, I’m right back down to where I was. I can’t stand the pain of the unknown, the up and down feelings, the frustration of not knowing where my relationship is going, hell, I don’t even know where it’s at. My relationship is what keeps our family together, my family is falling apart now. She tells me I’m making it out to be more that what it really is but I know I am worthless now, no ambition left and no desire to see the next day. I’ve ruined us and she will never love me again […]
I can’t face the fact that I’ve driven away my best friend, my family has all estranged me over lies and smeared me in the worst way… Life has caught up to me, staring me in tge face, I give up. I can’t function, my nerves make me shake continually, my best friend has distanced herself from me, she gave me everything I needed to keep going, now my ambition is gone, my desire to live is gone. I guess this is it, it’s time to take my last break. I’ve come to the conclusion, IT’S OKAY, it’s okay.
I woke up early today, been up for a while. I can’t stand the feeling of being not loved, wanted nor needed any longer. I can’t take another day of it.
This morning I woke feeling life was okay, 5 minutes after getting up, I felt just like I did the day before, as the day went on, I felt awful, this evening, even worse. I just don’t understand…my sadness is beginning to overwhelm me, I can’t even discuss my feelings anymore, express my emotions, It’s like I’m going into isolation mode, anything I say or feelings I express are of no importance anymore, am I going crazy? My existence is becoming worthless. Despite the untruths and their so called “smear campaigns” am I really the horrible person they are making me out to be? I […]
Had the world by the balls, successful career, opportunities galore, fell in love after the end of a very abusive marriage, with my best friend, we gave definition to the meaning… My older children don’t have anything to do with me, my own mother trash mouths me, my babies love me, and my best friend, she hurts and I can’t stand it anymore. I really was a good dad and good person, they didn’t see what went on behind closed doors, they don’t know, the hurt from that and the pain is relentless, people don’t stop, my wheels are turning so much and I’m broken, […]