Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

0

Rage

July 28th, 2016by Jazzmoses

Rage is what I’ve been feeling since my dad visited two weeks ago. One month without talking to me or trying to reach out. The hardest month yet. The month I started my antidepressants. The month I constantly called him, remembering that he had promised me to be there for me, even if it was 2:00 am. One night, it was 2:00 am and I was holding all of my medication in my hands. It was painful. There was a war inside my head. Trying to die is mentally painful. I called him 10 times. Voicemail every time.

I was crying, of course. I don’t hold …

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7

I am a stalker

July 26th, 2016by ListConn

My parents never talked to me and dismissed my problems because they are too perfect for their kid to have flaws I guess. I am a weird kid. I never kissed a girl, never had friends, never had a childhood and I guess I never grew out of it.

A new employee at work is a girl who is the friendliest person I ever met. On her first day she introduced herself to me and she seemed genuinely interested about me and she was smiling. She always smiles. Few days later a coworker told me that she said that I’m smart and nice.

She is my cure …

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1

lAUGH IT OFF? :( The Blank Canvas

July 26th, 2016by CARLOSPEJUAN

So I think instead of a suicide letter with all the things that lead to that moment, or what I want people to change, or not do (like cry and stuff) I think I want one that you can’t help but laugh at.

Someone suggested writing a normal suicide letter and then posting lol at the end. I laughed at that then cried a little, then laughed again.

But mine should read something like this:

I was bored and was kind of curious as to what was in the other life. So I decided to find a portal, but that was taking too long so meh screw I …

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7

Rhesus Monkeys and Charlie Brown

July 26th, 2016by Wittie

To my Mother, Brother, Sister and Nieces:

I cannot live my life for you, though I have tried. You have no idea how desolate this loneliness is. The closest explanation I can give is that I feel like one of Harry Harlow’s rhesus monkeys in his horrific “experiment”.

How long am I supposed to suffer for your sake? You cannot live my life for me, nor me for you. Yes. Yes. Yes. You tell me that I am intelligent, insightful and compassionate. Clever, funny, and generous. As everyone says, I have “a lot to offer.” There are those talents: cooking, baking, writing,  finding that “ism” that makes each person …

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2

You are loved

July 25th, 2016by honoringtrent

This is my first post, though I’ve perused many over the past few months. I have found a lot of comfort here, but have also felt so much despair seeing so much pain put into words.

You see, I was shocked and blindsided by the loss of my husband, the father of my children, my life partner for 11 years, my best friend, to suicide on June 13, 2015.

I plan to post more at a later time, but felt incredibly compelled to post this now…. You are loved.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I hope you read this (yes, I’m talking to …

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6

Who knew?

July 24th, 2016by snader

I sure as hell didn’t.

That’s the tragedy about stories like mine: nobody saw it coming. Nobody saw how deeply and utterly lost and saddened my brother really was, how lonely and abandoned he felt, how angry he was at the world for leaving him and disappointing him.
Not his teachers, who saw him in school every day. They saw how he hated being there, how he was disgusted by how they treated the kids because the “teacher is always right”. How the principle was so unfair to everyone, the only way was their way. But they didn’t think much of it, because that’s just …

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12

How do you guys feel about your families?

July 23rd, 2016by hopeisafourletterword

For some people, their family is the reason why they don’t commit suicide. For others, it’s the reason why they want to so desperately.

Personally I hate the idea of belonging to a family. I’ve hated it for a long time. Everything was fine when I was a kid but now my mom resents me for not wanting to live with her anymore. She thinks she understands me but she really doesn’t. She doesn’t want to take responsibility for her actions and claims that bringing me into this world was out of her control. She’s a nice person but frankly she deserves what she says she …

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2

Long time no post here…

July 20th, 2016by pikwangchu

Tell me…

Am I useful to this world?

I mean, from what I see, i’m useless.

So I’m here to rant about myself.

I’m unaccepted, i was never able to be super comfortable in a group of friends.

I’m troublesome, i’ve always caused my parents a lot of trouble. It’s to the point where i blame myself about my father’s heart attack about one and a half year from now.

I’m an accident, my parents never planned me out. i almost killed my mother when i was born. i’ve been called ‘adopted’ a million of times throughout my short time of living.

I’m mentally suicidal, if that made any sense at all, …

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6

Abused, broken , and confused

July 19th, 2016by unknownnnbbbb

i-act-like-i-dont-care-but-deep-inside-it-hurts-sad-quoteI’ve been sad for years! It started the summer before my ninth grade year. That summer I realized my parents true colors. I was a daddy’s girl before that summer and that’s what really broke me inside because I put all my trust into my dad. Anyways that day my dad had said some hurtful stuff and I got mad and he tried to make it up by giving me money and I said “money can’t buy love” he gave a crazy look and left the room he came back with a belt and beat the shit …

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1

Feeling depressed and not worth living? Then you have been lied to… (Part 1)

July 16th, 2016by beyourself

Let me first tell you a bit of my story and how I found this website – I was searching for methods to commit suicide. Why? I do not feel suicidal at all and I do not want to die at all. However, I may not have any other option. The reason for this is that there are some criminal people treating to do horrible things to me and my family, presumably because I was the cause for their significant financial losses (we are talking millions “supposedly”). While I can accept being killed I do not want my family to be affected. Therefore, my only …

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2

This is depressing.

July 16th, 2016by Lawli

My parents make me depressed, that’s why I stay in my room because every time I have a conversation with them, hang out with them, or when they talk to me I want to kill myself afterwards. They don’t do anything mean to me or anything, we don’t even argue much, I can’t ague with them, maybe it because i’m scared of them, or I know I just owe them to much but I can’t argue with them. I guess I feel kinda like I have been locked in a cage around them, I don’t feel comfortable at all and I can’t be myself. I …

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1

No more

July 15th, 2016by Lonely1457

I can’t take it anymore. I’m crying every night. I’m stressed, I’m anxious, and I’m tired. What to do anymore? Is life important? I’m here thinking of someone I can tell my problems to and I think and think but I end up being here. So much friends but they’ll only think I’m annoying or take it as a joke. I just want to die, not suicide. Then again jumping off a cliff doesn’t sound so bad. I’m so sad, lonely and everything.

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3

eXHAUSTEd

July 14th, 2016by CARLOSPEJUAN

I feel tired. And it’s no loner a lethargic exhaustion. It is no longer a physical over exhertion due to the lack of calories. I just am tired of everything. I am tired of being the wierdo in my family, friends, at work, and everywhere I go. I am tired of trying to make everyone laugh and happy, and then being called annoying and a fag. I am tired of doing things for people that have and will never be retured. I am tired of people hating me, for being slower than them. I am tired of not being able to unlock my full potential …

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3

I want to to tell people my story, hopefully it helps someone find hope

July 14th, 2016by JamalK02

So, I used to be a lowkey, small time drug dealer in the biggest city on the east coast. I’ve lived in the hood all my life and who I am is simply a product of my environment. One of my first drug deals was to some tall white kid who wanted a dub of weed. I could tell he didn’t do this often, he used as much slang as he could and even tried to sound “black”. The problem was that this kid wanted to meet at a train station and i didn’t have my metrocard. I hopped the turnstile to get to him. …

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0

fRIENDS?

fRIENDS?

July 13th, 2016by CARLOSPEJUAN

Everyone around me, who calls themselves my friend never feels like they are being true. I always doubt the verity of such a word and thus i save them for those who truly earn it. I always fear the people who smile at you face and stab you in the back. I do not believe that someone who is that easily persuaded against my will regardless of how petty this may be, someone who will insult me and side easily with someone who I JUST literally JUST like five seconds ago introduced them to. Or the most painful recent experience. Some fucktard whose name was …

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5

Hurts.

July 13th, 2016by Lonely1457

I told my friend that I am afraid I might have anxiety or depression and he did what I feared. He mocked me. He made a joke of it and I trusted him. I’ve known him for almost 9 years now. It hurts like hell, he’s one of the three people who I told and he made me lost trust in everyone now.

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2

“You just have to believe in yourself”

July 12th, 2016by ThisIsNoDemocracy

I was told this today by a coworker “you just have to believe in yourself and you can do so much. Everyone sees it in you.. Why don’t you?”

 

Believe in myself? How am I supposed to believe in myself, believe that I can do any good whatsoever when one of my only talents is screwing up.

It’s just so strange that after so many years of being told what I’m doing wrong and how I can’t accomplish anything I suddenly am told that I am special. It’s like they expect me to help them with all their problems and I just don’t know where I can …

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8

What are friends?

July 11th, 2016by Lonely1457

So I have many group of friends. One group planned to get ice cream and hang out but they bailed out on me. I was pretty upset. Then they said stuff and made me feel guilty. Then my other friend (different group) told me to go meet her at the mall and when I got there, she called me that she had an “appointment” somewhere else. So yeah. What are friends? Hurts that my trust is thinning. I couldn’t sleep all night last night until 6am and now I can’t stay awake. So terrible. I’m drained and numb to think of what they did to …

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8

Relationship with suicidal boyfriend

July 9th, 2016by FMaggot

It’s my first post there, so hello, I guess?

I need help with my boyfriend. More precisely, breaking up with him.

We’ve been together for almost 3 years if I recall correctly. It’s a long distance relationship.

There are few reasons why I don’t feel like dating him any longer;

  1. We’re completely different. Different things make us laugh, we think differently, we have different problems. He’s a massive pessimist, hates himself and the way he looks (had (has?) bulimia), talks about his problems a lot, is very complicated, hangs out with people, loves cuddling, drinking, smoking and drugs (never did any serious ones, only some meds and pot,

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7

Struggling to live another day

July 8th, 2016by waywardponders

To start with, it has been a pleasure and joy posting and sharing with everyone on this board. If only I’d found this home years ago I might not be in the predicament I now face.

I had a difficult childhood that sounds all to familiar to so many stories here. I was hyper sensitive, shy, physically and emotionally abused, sevely lacking in self esteem, impulsive, addiction, compulsive, bullied and the list goes on.

When I reached my teenage years I got into drugs because I was in so much pain and was unable to talk to anyone about my problems and feelings. I was fearful of …

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