Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

3

Toxic

August 30th, 2015by LittleMissPurrfection

Words that have poisoned me

Saying I shouldn’t be

Shouldn’t be like this

There’s no reason to

Reason to do what I do

It’s been the same for years,

Telling what I don’t want to hear

Telling me to get through on my own

So unknowing, you were ignorantly bliss

While I fell into an abyss,

You, who still filled me with lies, such ugly lies

Look me in the eyes,

There were toxic things you said.

This was your influence

I never thought this way,

Not until

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0

My friends forced relationship (rant)

August 30th, 2015by GerbzBaby

You don’t have to read this, I’m not forcing anyone to. But I felt the need to talk about my friends forceful relationship with her partner. So here goes nothin…

I’ve know my friend (we are going to call her L because I feel the need to keep her identity secret) L since me and her where in the fifth grade together. We both had a deep passion for drawing and art, that’s probably one of the reasons why we became friends. She was always happy and outgoing towards me and the new people she had met. She always wanted to learn new things especially …

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6

It’s Over

August 29th, 2015by 1dimple

Not for me but my friend. He has passed. Taken his own life. I was emailed the news. Horror filled me. I fell to my knees and wept. I was lone and still I buried my face into my hands to hide my sorrow. I felt the pressure build inside my head, my stomach turned. He knew that I loved him. I don’t have to regret him not knowing. I never left him. Never gave up on him. It wasn’t enough. His demons were ruthless and unrelenting.

He was hurt over and over again by the people who should have been his protection. I feel numb, …

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13

The Victim Game

August 29th, 2015by zalien

It is a common theme on this site and in real life where people play the victim game. Circumstances aren’t working out the way they want, or they wish to “have their cake and eat it too”.

This usually leads them to blaming others and starting pity parties so that they can feel sorry for themselves, while refraining from admitting their own culpability in the situation, or apologizing to anyone else involved. They want to feel the support of the crowd who will say “You poor thing, what a meanie that person/those people were! Let’s give you a hug and send them to hell.”

At the same …

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6

Rough Times

August 29th, 2015by operationmintyhippo

A lot of you probably don’t care, but I just need it in writing, or something to come back and read later to know it’s real.

My uncle died last night.

You’re probably thinking “Oh, it’s just her uncle. Not like it’s an immediate family member.” But my entire family is close. I’m talking my mom’s side is friends with my dad’s side and vice versa. And everything that could possibly be turned into a family event is. So whenever anyone dies, both sides come together and mourn and we all fall apart inside.

I digress.

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1

Let’s talk about a little thing called medication

August 25th, 2015by queenofdarkness

Every day when you wake up it’s three pills, choked down with juice. (Always juice, because having pills with water tastes like suicide.)

The one that’s supposed to keep you from killing yourself.

The one that’s supposed to make you talk and smile and act like you don’t have crippling anxiety.

The one that’s supposed to take away your mood. How dare you have emotions. How fucking dare you.

It’s bullshit.

There’s no way to measure whether it “works” or not. If you ask my parents, it doesn’t, because I’m still not normal. Like, so what if she feels happier and doesn’t generally want to throw herself off a roof? She

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8

everything that’s happened and everything that’s happening

August 24th, 2015by lostinthemotions

So where do I even begin? Well, I signed up for this website so I guess I should explain why. Currently, I am not thinking about suicide, but I have in the past and fairly recently thought about how I would do it, why I would do it, who I would hurt and so forth, and then I realized that if anything happened to me, no one would know why, so here I am. Telling all of you what I can’t tell anyone in person.

I’m 15, I turn 16 in three weeks. I have a job that’s pretty mediocre, get good grades, I’m what you …

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5

Which way?

August 24th, 2015by YuTasogare

It’s the second time I write here today. I really thought things would take a turn for the better but It wasn’t the case. It makes some pretty good time since I got this bad. I just wanna cry but I simply can’t, maybe it’s because I don’the have the option to fail this time. Like my life would crumble if I did that, there was also one other thing that bothers me. My family have seen the pages I’ve been accessing and then they found out about suicideproject.org. No need to say they are very worried about me but even so they

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3

Schools Back

August 24th, 2015by violinplayer22

Ah, the beginning of the school year. Makes you want to tear up a little, doesn’t it? I mean, anxiety attacks are no stranger to me, so tearing up comes naturally. But hearing that first bell in the hallowed halls of Woodford High School made me cringe in my Vera Bradley backpack. Don’t get me wrong, getting to see the little freshman cower in fear was SSOO much fun, but seeing all the couples and relationships makes me want to smack my head on a wall. It’s fine though. The first day isn’t always as horrible as people make it out to be. I mean, …

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13

Save me from myself

August 24th, 2015by YuTasogare

Well, it’s the third day since I’ve left my dad’s house, yesterday I was very confident that everything would work just fine, now I’m not that sure… I’ve been feeling simply terrible since that, I simply don’t know what to do, which way to follow, I just want want someone to speak with, but who would want to be with me at a time like that? Even I don’t want to, I wish I could simply feel better but I can’t I don’t know for sure what’s wrong, but I’m sure something is just off… so many months and years having my feelings only …

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2

It’s been awhile.

August 24th, 2015by breakeven

Wow. I haven’t been writing for 3 months and now I’m back again. It’s funny cause I thought I was doing so well. Turns out, I’ve been lying to myself. Yes, people have it worse than me but does that mean my problems don’t matter? I’m about to start college soon after graduating early one whole year. The expectation of everyone is really weighing down on me. The stress of handling everything, every action that I take from now on is being carefully watched and judged. I’m trying to handle so many things in my life and I think I’m getting overwhelmed again. I know …

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77

Sadness on the way to…

August 23rd, 2015by YuTasogare

Well, I’m here and I will keep moving forward, yesterday I left my dad’s house, I plan on living with my mom from now on, don’t know for how long and don’t wanna think about it right now, my dad is kinda down, he suffers from “depression” (I think it’s like that, don’t know how to say it in English) so yeah… my departure made him feel very bad, and I keep blamming me for this, being responsible for someone’s sadness like that, that’s very heavy! I feel so… sellfish. I always cared for the others first but they can’t see or feel it and …

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3

I messed up..

August 23rd, 2015by GerbzBaby

Yesterday wasn’t the best day, and neither was today. I might have lost 3 friends over my mistake that I made.

I was supposed to go to an amusement park with my friend today but I refused to go out of fear. I feared being left out again. She ignored me at dinner last night to talk to my sisters (or at least it felt that way). I just boiled over and got angry, ran upstairs and cried. I didn’t say anything to her when she came up to get me. Just put a smile on my face and continued on.

When today came around I told …

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2

What am I missing?

August 23rd, 2015by tjsII1988

Things are not good for me. More or less I am nothing more then a dissapointment in everything I do. I am a failure as a boyfriend,father,friend,son,grandson…you name it. I am falling apart in every way imaginable. I hate to look at myself,and no matter what I do I can’t seem to pull out of this. I tried to end it once,but was “saved” by 2 friends….not this time. I have a short period of time before my 2 year suicide clause is up on my life insurance,I have a storage unit large enough to fit my truck in it rented so no one can …

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22

Tell Me How I Am

August 20th, 2015by operationmintyhippo

I’m sorry I’m about to be all wordy, jumbled, and redundant and you probably don’t care about my life story, but I need an outlet.

I grew up with an ideal life. Friends–two best friends who all did everything together. Family–mom, dad, brother, sister. We always did all the family-esque things together.

We must have looked great from the outside.

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5

Guys I need advice

August 20th, 2015by Deadinside59

So things between me and this girl are weird here’s the thing i don’t trust people i have huge trust problems and over time me and her got close we spent a year “tearing down walls” and i fucking hate how i let myself get close to her i fucking hate myself for it she says all these things like she’ll never leave me alone she’ll always be there for me but then she goes away for like a week or month or days whatever she always comes back but when she goes away she’s damn near impossible to contact for me anyway one of …

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4

Trust.

August 18th, 2015by DellBenq

About two months ago my girlfriend broke up with me, we ended on good terms well in her eyes.. I was destroyed, I thought she was cheating on me because 4 days before she did it she went to hang out with her friend who had a huge crush on her, of what I wasn’t to happy, mainly because it was only going to be them.. She then never said good night or anything she would just disappear, anyway, one of the last things she promised me is that she would never get back with my best friend because he treated her like shit, when …

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11

Warnings

August 18th, 2015by Tristeza

I was reading old posts today. Like, really old posts from ten or eight years ago. I wonder about what happened to some of you. I know that some are probably doing relatively better while others are still in deep pain, but trying to survive day by day. I hope that the majority of them decided to leave this place because they were ready to restart their lives. If not, I hope they are in peace now.
.
I had the chance to meet a lot of people here. I believe that at least two of them are now gone from this planet. If that’s true, I …

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0

Second living…live and learn

August 18th, 2015by CRiticalthinker

Soooo this is my first post thingy so no hate unless its at least funny and please comment your own thoughts.

I wanna start out by saying how weird life is and how unbelievably random it could be, but also how planed it ends up being. Like if I make a good choice to hang out with my first friend which goes into a bad decision of doing drugs, which leads to a path with fake friends. Then of course ended up here at block one with no friends just to start all over.

But I cant help to say that I kinda liked that part of my …

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4

“There must be something here”

August 17th, 2015by extraodinarymachine

First post. Moderators, please edit or let me know if I have said anything not allowed. I’m guessing my post may contain some triggers, though I’ve not been graphic & spoken heartfelt ideas in an honest way. I’m asking for some advice from places I’ve not sought help before. “Oh Lord! Please don’t let me be misunderstood.”

The Dancer in the Dark quote. “Have you seen China? Have you seen the Great Wall?” “All walls are great if the roof doesn’t fall”. This is what each day is like.

I’ve been there for so many others. I have kept friends alive. I’ve cared and helped. I’ve …

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