Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

4

Sick and Tired

August 25th, 2016by No Resting For The Weary

I needed to rant so here I am. I have social anxiety and it’s very hard to express myself. Whether it be in public or online. Up until two years ago, I didn’t even know what social anxiety was. When this girl online describe what she went through all her life, I thought to myself. That sounds like me. But my family and sisters call me weird. They don’t even think social anxiety is a real thing.  They are very close-minded and like to label people. Plus, they think they are better than everyone. The sister closer in age to me is a spoiled as*h*le, …

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

I’m not sure what to do.

August 25th, 2016by Your future friend

So,this is my first post,and I hope it will be the last. My dad is in terrible shape. He smokes,he’s admittedly very overweight,he has a bad back and a bad heart,and it’s a true and terrifying thought that he could drop dead at any moment,and he’ll leave me forever. I can’t stand what he does to himself,it’s as is he wants to die and leave me and my brother and sister. I never want to leave his side because I’m afraid something will happen and I won’t be there to help him. Every morning I get to wake up every morning to him waking me …

Processing your request, Please wait....
10

I’m not real

August 24th, 2016by velveteennightingale

I’m not a real person because I am going crazy inside with my depression that no one can see.  I am not a real cutter because I don’t cut every day (most of the time).  I’m not a real anorexic because my BMI is technically normal.  I don’t fit in completely with the extremely poor because I am no longer homeless.  I don’t fit in with the rich because I am far from rich.  I don’t belong in my family because I have different tastes in music, books, movies–I haven’t told them my real likes because I’m afraid of rejection: they think the sorts of …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I’m always being compared to my sister/ being left out

August 24th, 2016by GerbzBaby

In my family I’m the oldest of my two sisters (we are going to call them:) C and A. C being the first at 17 and A being the second youngest at 15. Me being of the age of 18 you’d think I wouldn’t be compared to my little sister (in this case my sister C)… But I am… A lot! I’m never just “Amanda” I’m just “C’s sister”.

“Oh! You are very shy compared to C.” “Your nothing like C is!” “You don’t look like C or A at all!” “You and C have nothing in comman.” These are just the few I can think …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Just Being Me!

August 23rd, 2016by StacyT_T

So I am the middle child of 3 children …..

Some people would love that but I don’t. It’s absolutely hell!! My parents would always compare me to my older sister or younger brother.

You see my older sister (24) is now a nurse and is married to Matthew . A doctor who is “the perfect guy” as my parents say …… They would always compare me to her by saying “Oh you know when your sister was your age she used to do this… And do that…”

They never give me a break …

Oh and let’s not forget my little brother. It doesn’t make it …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

I am no one

August 22nd, 2016by velveteennightingale

There’s so much I want to say.  It’s literally stressing me out.  I am 15, and I am world weary.  I am a zoo animal trapped behind glass, never existing with the world.  Always apart.  There are people living right now, but I can never exist with them.  I have no motivation to do anything anymore.  I am a pathological liar.  I have misophonia.  I am SO insecure.  My family used to be homeless, and I feel guilty that we aren’t anymore.  I feel like a fake-I suck at being normal; I don’t fit in with the misfits.  I think I have mild OCD.  My …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

A reminder.

August 22nd, 2016by Outfoxxing

Today should’ve been their birthday.

I let off a balloon at the top of a very big hill we loved. Watched the stars beneath it one night – it was beautiful, but not as much as the soul sharing the experience with me…

Seven days have passed and it’s not getting easier. Constantly I’m being informed it wasn’t my fault and there was nothing I could’ve done – bullshit, but I digress. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But the honest truth is they would still be alive had I let them stay.

So much I had planned to do today, before all the drama, before all the …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

Can someone just kill me?

August 22nd, 2016by Lonely1457

I feel like everyone is against me. Always yelling at me, always complaining about me, always telling me what to do and always blaming me. It’s not me and my mood swings but I’ve had enough of everyone. I’m just staying here but I’m always get the blame on. Someone just take me away. I wish I was never born into this family. I fucking hate this house. It’s everyday. When I feel that my life is improving, it becomes worse than before.

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

I’m responsible.

August 20th, 2016by Outfoxxing

It’s been five days since I lost the most wonderfully precious person I’ve ever known.

We met in a strange way, reading each other’s writing and in the end, wrote together. Many magical stories that will stay forever on the internet. Like my own personal treasure trove and remembrance. On Monday, time unknown to me as I’ve been given little details from their family, they ended their existence and took with them a great portion of me.

Now, this is the less magical, more regrettable part. I’m at fault for this. They were in love with me, through and through, and I adored them beyond anything – platonically. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Relapse

August 20th, 2016by lulereign

It’s been awhile since I wrote here. I’m so terribly ashamed that I don’t know who to go to. After almost 4 months of been clean, I just had to go do it. I realise that these things don’t disappear. It waits for a single moment of weakness and starts to fester again until it’s strong enough to tear you down.

the suicidal thoughts are back, although the it’s not as prominent as before. I don’t even know when they snuck up. I was so content, perhaps I was too complacent. And now all I can think of is to escape.

I wonder why people choose to …

Processing your request, Please wait....
4

Why.

August 20th, 2016by mememachine

If this ever crops up on my social media I’m sorry. It means that I’ve truly become nothing but a failure, that I’ve totally failed to keep myself alive for another day.

I’m sorry. I shouldn’t do this. My life isn’t terrible, it never really was. Compared to the thousands of suffering humans who drag themselves awake each day and somehow smile all the while, my life is great. I just,  can’t anymore. I can’t seek help, it’s too late, I failed. I couldn’t help myself, so who could.

My life started out great, my mother was a well earning nurse, I had friends, a dog, and …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Malaise

August 20th, 2016by anothernoone

First time posting here.

I’ve been, I guess you could say “actively suicidal” in the past.  Perhaps not currently.  But, on some level, I’m always thinking about it.

I feel tired.  old.  most of all, worthless.

I’m not who I set out to be.  I was reading someone else’s post on here about how it could take just one big thing to fuck up your life forever.  and yeah.  but, breaking it down, it’s probably not one thing or one event, but a whole series of things over a whole series of years.  or you hit so many setbacks, fallen off the proverbial horse so many times, you …

Processing your request, Please wait....
3

I don’t even know anymore.

August 19th, 2016by Lonely1457

I just want to be gone. Not the dead gone just yet but the runaway gone. I want to run far far away where no one will remember me and I will lose contact with everyone. I might as well just fake my death. I personally however feel like suicide is a sin for me. I’m sick of this family. It sucks to be a girl because you are disrespected (in this family). Then there are my friends who will never be there for me. Who takes my problem and changes it to theirs so they won’t have to listen to my crap

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Life sucks.

August 18th, 2016by Lonely1457

I’m very sensitive about any topic about my grandma. Well, today I was criticized for everything I did. Honestly that’s almost everyday but today was the worst. Anyways, then one of my sibling went with a low blow as to mentioning my grandma. My grandma has been someone who I love so much and the topic of her makes me depressed, good or bad since she passed away. I just want to cry. That was such a fucking low blow as my sibling criticized me by guilt tripping me mentioning that. Now I am here wanting to cry out loud. Goodness it hurts.

 

 

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

I was better

August 18th, 2016by M

I was. A year lost to this self harm bullshit and one fucking comment sends me reeling. Right back to cutting. And my hands. My poor fucking fingers. Torn at the seams, and for what? Am I not better than that? Can I not repress every little fucking emotion In to nonexistence?

Am I doomed to a life on Satan’s damned roller coaster? Repression. Miscommunication. Stress. Stress until you snap and start over as an soggy, crying mess. (Because you hate yourself for not being able to communicate. Or even let anyone know you’re suffering or have suffered from this depression shit) Again and again.

The only …

Processing your request, Please wait....
2

I’m Really Sorry

August 17th, 2016by AKidWithAName

I don’t want to live. There is absolutely no point in it. No matter what I do, my parents will never be proud of me. I know that this is a shitty reason. It sounds shitty. It sounds like I’m over-exaggerating. It sounds like I don’t understand.

But the thing is, I do understand. My parents want the best for me, which is more than I should be able to ask for. But, I am a selfish and discontent human being. I want something to go my way. I’m not right. There’s something wrong with me. That’s probably just me trying to get attention. Ahahahahhaha …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Solitude

August 17th, 2016by eternalblissxx

Haven’t posted on here in so long. Nothing’s changed. Nothing ever changes. I can’t stand the loneliness anymore though. The most depressing part for me is not ever having anyone to talk to, having to be your only support…having to be there for yourself because no one else will. I’m so tired of being alone. I’m desperate to find someone who won’t disappear on me.

If anyone seriously wants to be my friend and talk and vent, please email me at blissmexx@gmail.com

I’m a female, 22 years old, so if you’re around my age I can probably relate.

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

I held on…

August 17th, 2016by whenallthestarsfall

I held on…through everything over the last year……I held on…being turned inside out….  I held on… giving it one last try as I hung on to nothing….I held on…while grasping for anything as I fell through nothing but open space….  I held on…as time keeps marching on, as it forgets me in it’s wake….

I held on…..because I know what it is like to be alone….I held on…. because I know what it’s like to have people turn their back on you…  I held on…. as I cried alone…. I held on as my heart finished breaking as I held my infant son one last time….I

Processing your request, Please wait....
5

Why they don’t notice it?

August 17th, 2016by closedworld

I hate it. I fucking hate it how everybody act like everything is just peachy!!! Everything is like fucking nightmare.  They don’t notice it. They don’t notice how I am not eating my food. How I am dying. They don’t notice that the smile that I show is fake. Even my parents don’t notice that I am  just acting like everything is perfect. I mean they are my parents right? They should know when I am lying  they should know when I am putting act.

But they don’t. They don’t notice that I am acting.  Every night when I go to my bed I don’t sleep. …

Processing your request, Please wait....
1

Images

August 13th, 2016by darkestsoul

Ever since I was young, every time something went bad, all that would keep me rooted in my seat would be the images in my head, images that were of different ways I could end my life. It would terrorize me then, I’d wonder if I were capable of such aggression. I couldn’t end my misery then, I never had the guts, and now when I have the courage, I have a reason to hold on. I think of my little sister who has no one but me to look after her, my mother doesn’t care about anything but herself and my father is an …

Processing your request, Please wait....