Family & Friends Effects

The effects of suicide on family and friends.

1

i guess i’m just really f*cked up

May 27th, 2015by Everly_182

basically for over 3 years now i wake up with the same question in my head, what happened?/when did i start to feel this way?/what the hell caused this?! for 3 years now, I still have no clue. Why am i so sad? why am i even depressed? why is it every time I’m hanging out with my family or my friends i feel alone and empty? I’ve literally lost myself. I’m not the same anymore. I don’t find excitement or happiness in the things that i used to, i don’t want to hang out with any one anymore, all I wanna do is be left …

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3

im tired of being alone

May 27th, 2015by XcomingdownX5fdp

I don’t want to live for another minute. I’m 22 and I don’t want to make it to 23. I’m sick of being alone. I’m sick of having no friends, no one to turn to, and no one to rely on. I was put on this earth with a fucked up brain. I have bipolar disorder which goes hand in hand with the severe depression. And if that wasn’t enough, I have insomnia that keeps me up at night and ADD so I can never concentrate for more than 5 fucking minutes. I hate it. I haven’t felt happy for so god damned long. Being …

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9

Hi, I’m new ??

May 26th, 2015by unexplainedfeelings189

Hey .. I have spent a long time on this site and its pretty cool .. a lot of warm, nice people that care for each other even though we have never seen each other in real life.. It’s really nice to see that.. I  am pretty good to make people feel better but I have my downfalls too.. but here is my story: it may not be as bad as some out here but its to much for me to deal with.. : I feel alone. I look around always and I see groups of friends laughing having fun enjoying themselves or

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1

Reasons.

May 26th, 2015by Anonyfuckingmoose

So I’m gonna share one of the reasons that tempted me to end my life (Read my last post). So, I’m not really close to my father. He always works overseas. And I always thought he was a good guy, working his hardest for us, for his family. Then when I was around 10 years old, I heard my mom and dad fighting, me and my sisters were downstairs, trying to eat our lunch peacefully when suddenly our mom screamed. She screamed at our dad, the kind of scream that breaks your voice, the kind of scream that was full of emotions. About 5 minutes …

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6

Music and drugs are temporary distractions. [Final week]

May 25th, 2015by vanishingswords

The music I always loved to hear lost their charm.

The DXM I treated as substitutes for real anti-depressants have lost their appeal.

I no longer linger in anticipation waiting for the next part of the show/comic I follow.

I don’t even feel excited at the prospect of having a family in the future anymore; now it just sickens me knowing that there is a possibility that I may give birth or raise a child that would end up as fucked up as I am. It frightens me that the person I would be with in the future would suffer because of my mental issues.

Besides, if I off …

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3

I cannot believe it took me this long to realise this…

May 25th, 2015by OddOneOut

One’s problems don’t mean jack-s**t in the world.
Unless someone can make money off of it, or benefit in some way, it will remain useless and repelled.

Even a mother doesn’t care what her son’s been through.

Or maybe that’s just mine.

Yeah, probably just mine.

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1

Rabbit Hole

May 24th, 2015by kittiekat

I’m not a selfish person. I’ve been told suicide is selfish. People will miss you, greive, feel guilt, brcw depressed themselves. Your parents. Siblings. Friends. Grandparents. Extended family. They’ll hurt. Some, forever. My parents, especially my mother, will be forever grieving.

My life is good. Good job, family, friends, lifestyle, living conditions, amentities… There is not much i need that I don’t have. Sure I’m single, but I’m seeing someone, kind of, and he’s great. Other guys ask me out, I have to turn them down.

But still I can’t shake this.

I feel like I’m spiralling down a rabbit hole.

I don’t want to get up in the …

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5

Hello?

May 24th, 2015by Arabella

As i’m sitting here, home alone, typing this, i’m feeling slightly hopeful for this website. I don’t know how many people are active here. I don’t even know if I really care. All I know is that I need a place to vent when I need to, and this place caught my eye. I would like to begin by just venting about my setting. I’m sitting here at a kitchen dining room table that’s littered with used kleenex-  15 of them, my OCD made me count-, a red face, and a wadded up suicide note. Kidding about the last thing. I have a need to …

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1

I honestly cant believe it……….

May 23rd, 2015by serenityseeker

I’m not really sure what my last post was cuz I am having to write these as they come to me on a word processor and then copy and paste them when I do have internet access. It has its ups and downs. I can’t get distracted by pop ups and the curiosity of social media and all of that meaningless mind wasting junk that it can be. I find that if I can get caught up in all of that it ends up becoming some sort of drama filled b.s. game and I’d rather sit back and and watch then participate in any …

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1

I want out of this world

May 22nd, 2015by shatteredsoul1350

Why does have to go down this road
Wasn’t it suppose to be full of happiness??
Nope, just fucked up people doing fucked up shit
Not giving a fuck if anything happens
All they care about is themselves
Amused by your own pain
They don’t know
They don’t care
Why should they mess with feelings like that?
God, take me out of this world
Can i be somewhere else?
Why am i feeling this way

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4

Him

May 22nd, 2015by persephone

He is the only thing keeping me going these days. He tells me I’m special and how much he cares for me, what I’m worth, he puts a real smile on my face (the only person who can)… Without out him I wouldn’t be writing this I wouldn’t be here right now. If it wasn’t for his daily words of encouragement I would have taken my life or my mother would have locked me in the insane asylum a long time ago… But thanks to the one person who took the time to understand the time to pay attention and listen. Thanks to him I …

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0

Messy

May 21st, 2015by Agent Purple

Everything is messy. It’s the messed up kind of messy, the disorganized messy, and the kind to be looked down upon.

I’ve come to realize a couple things. The things I think are not truly what I feel or what I believe in or how I am. I thought that the reason I cut myself was for the rush, but all my reasons for cutting feel like excuses and they often contradict each other. Willpower- I thought it had something to do with willpower. I thought it made me feel stronger if I could withstand greater pain (I’m fully aware that that is  idiotic looking at …

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11

It’s hard to deal with this as a Christian. I feel so guilty…

May 21st, 2015by SilentScream

I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I

  • No one will ever want you
  • When you move out, don’t come back
  • You’re trash
  • You’ll never be anything
  • You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?

And did

  • locking him in a closet
  • making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
  • “Spanking” us until they saw blood

And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I …

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1

It’s been a while.

May 20th, 2015by lostsoulblanklife

Hello everybody.

In my other posts, I do not think I made myself as clear as I wanted to. To me it’s a miracle I’m still here. Still breathing. Still fighting. A couple of weeks ago, I lost my best friend. She said I was too sad for her well-being. How selfish can one be? How inconsiderate?

I’m not surprised I feel like this. I feel like I’m at the breaking point. I feel hopeless not only about my social life but also because of my skin condition. I haven’t mentioned this in the other posts. I have acne. Acne that I can cover up with makeup, …

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7

Suicide of friends/family

May 20th, 2015by RadiantLight

A friend of mine just committed suicide 4 days ago and everyone in my community is totally shocked.

I was wondering what experiences you may have had with a suicide of a friend or family – whomever – and how you dealt with it.

He was a very smart student was best in his school year and an extremely intelligent and good person. He left a note that said noone should feel guilty with all his bank accounts and formal stuff. Then he left and jumped from a 10 story building. Before he has been fighting depression for one year and had medication ( I’m not sure …

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5

May 19th, 2015by breezywillow

When i was six i was molested by my cousin went i was seven all my cousins and brothers where involved then i was raped at 15 on my birthday while growing up with an abusive family i met a boy i fell for him was faithful while he wasnt and he turned to beating me. I have no family no friends and am about to loose my home because some jerk photo shopped a picture a nudy one and posted it all over fb… i no longer want to try fight or anything… i just wanna die im alone and i was always told …

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1

Anxiety is a Bitch

May 19th, 2015by T-Rex

Anxiety is the unwelcome guest within my mind. Nay, not a guest, but the unwelcome demon that inhabits the depths of my being, not just my mind. It captures my whole body in its icy tendrils that are mistaken for its hands, it slams loud noises and makes me jump, it causes me to sweat and shiver at the same time. My heart races faster than a horse at the Kentucky Derby finish line, causes my hands to shake more than the milkshakes that bring the boys to the yard, and forces my brain to whirl in a fashion not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from …

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6

Midnight thoughts

May 19th, 2015by persephone

Someone once told me that since I am the oldest child in my family that pressure and stress comes with the job… He also said “it’s you that has to take the bullet for them” I feel as if I’ve taken the whole clip of a machine gun for them, but as I lay here surrounded by my suicidal thoughts… I cant help but hope that one day someone will step up and take the bullet for me… But by the looks of things that’s not in the near future anytime soon…..

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2

Everything crashing down

May 18th, 2015by persephone

Everyone depends on me I do everything that I’m told with no questons and I get no appreciation, everyone and everything is leaning on me while I have nothing or no one to lean on… I just wanted to disappear from all of this negativity peacefully… But I don’t think I can muster up the courage to take my own life even though I think about doing it often…. I need a way OUT

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4

My birthday is in two weeks. I would like to kill myself then.

May 15th, 2015by MySelfIsAfterMe

I’m already dead inside.

I screwed my life beyond repair, and all of it for no valid reasons. All because of anxiety that got me and the depression that came after. I gave up my life and I cannot take it back. I cannot live in the “what’s left of my life” while facing everyday the “how bright my life would have been if I didn’t screwed it all up”. It’s just too painful and it drains my motivation away. I don’t like myself anymore and I think it doesn’t worth to live like this.

I didn’t commit suicide yet because I am afraid of the consequences …

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