Hi, (sorry if this triggers a moderator, just talking about my own music that I hold the copyright for) I’ve been having a difficult time…at work/school especially, but also with the fallout of my suicide attempt (12/2/11).  Each day has been an anxious struggle.  Even though I’m finally on all of my meds, I still [...]

Not too long ago my mum found where I cut myself, and now she keeps checking. All that remains there are some thick and thin scars of pain. Every time I go into the bathroom I have to resist because I know she’ll find out. I don’t know how to deal with the pain any [...]

i just have to. i cant not do it any longer. im going to cut. once again. the last time i cut was in early october. that was a really long time ago. at least it seems to me like it has been forever. every night i think about it. and i am CRAVING to [...]

I’m not going to go into much detail again..if you want to see the last time I posted..it was February 2010, titled, “No longer” I believe..anywho, I’ll be 19 in about two and half weeks…I feel like I’ve tried as hard as I can, things got better since my last post, but…I’ve come to the [...]

I see myself as the tragic hero – in battle – with the forces of despair. In a battle against ashen solitude, hours would go by unnoticed. So did the countless number of sighs. I had been laying on the sofa. My eyes saw nothing. My mind remembered nothing. Trapped within the bone fortress of [...]

discharged from the hospital 36 hours ago. for some reason I don’t feel that bad, as though there should be a reason I should. I feel content and calm. and yet a part of me is feeling uncomfortable– dare I say, terrible? things are OK, though I feel slightly more negative compared to my time [...]

Ya know, it feels to me like no one gives a good rat’s ass what’s going on in my life. Guess what? 90% of the time, I’m fucking right. I used to be the pretty one, the sweet one, the one that would bend over backward to help a friend in need. Hell, even today, [...]

i feel so depressed. especially because im at home. i dont have the one person i wish was with me. i saw her today(my best friend that is). my parents wanted me to go to the store with them, but this morning i told my mom i dont wanna go anywhere. and when they left [...]

raped at age 5 parents divorce raped again almost successfully committed suicide but then people found me was in therapy and now I’m a sex addict. how the fuck are all these things connected?! ugh fuck my life >:/

I don’t want to be alive most days. I probably would have killed myself by now if I didn’t know that it would hurt too many people. Pretty much the only reason I have not attempted it yet. But I want to. I’m getting tired of wanting to. So I’m going to post this and [...]