For general topics related to the site.
Cleavername is super Awesome!!!
For general topics related to the site.
Cleavername is super Awesome!!!
We lie all the time. Some do it to avoid hurting others, or being a bother to others, or because you just can’t trust anyone anymore. The most common lie is “I’m ok.” We all know we aren’t ok. And for me at least it hurts more each time I have to pretend that I’m full of sunshine and shit rainbows. The truth? I’m not alright. I’m not ok. Hell, I’m not even stable. I keep hearing things, and kinda seeing things. I know the manager is sitting in his office watching the live security feed from where I am, making sure I don’t screw […]
She doesn’t know
pure empty awareness no self transcendent infinite skylike mind indestructible primordial eternal peace that your true self or ur reborn as a fkin ignorant worm dont roll the dice with the youniverse remove those created barriers and become free <3
No one saw her the way she truly was until she jumped.
I suppose a fire that burns that bright is not meant to last.
-Allegiant
I was just wondering. Everytime I tell my closest friend (but this is my view of our friendship) what I am feeling, for example last night, I told him that I felt like complete shit and everyone would go along their merry ways if I die without even caring, he just says, ” If that’s what you think then okay.” And the subject stops there. He quickly jumps to another topic and I assume that he doesn’t really wanna hear what I have to say. I try not to get hurt by his words but I feel like it’s just one bigger proof that even […]
Where are you now? I used to feel you in everything I did. I used to feel you in the wind, the water, my heart. Now.. I feel nothing. It’s like you never existed. It’s like you were never apart of me. You could make me cry, in a way that wasn’t tragic, but beautiful. You brought me joy and happiness. You brought my heart and mind peace. You took away the darkness and the pain. You stopped the tears and the hurt. Now you’re nowhere to be found, and I feel everything more than ever. I feel the pain and hurt like someone stabbing […]
Out of respect, names will be changed for privacy.
yesterday was a horrible day. My mother was the first person (who knew Tom well), to discover Tom’s dead body in his hotel room. My mother and Lisa, a friend of moms who barely knew Tom apart from the occasional light teasing they shared back and forth, searched the city for him after no one had heard from him for a week. The search lead to a small area in a bad neighborhood by two restaurants and a cheap hotel, a waitress at a restaurant he used to frequent took mother to the hotel manager and got […]
Why does it seem so hard to be able to get your own mother (even though she did adopt me) to not hate you, to actually love you. How do you get treatment before something really bad happens. How do you get away from your prison when you don’t know where you are and can never ask. Is it just me or is escaping impossible.
i can never understand why society is that way it is. My mom treats me like she doesn’t even care, im certain by now that i’m just a waste of space. My dad left when i was born but came back a couple years later only to just beat me and yell at me, my brothers and my mom. I struggle in school because i’m bisexual, im supposedly going to burn in hell. No one gives me a chance to get to know me, just one look and it’s obvious  i’m an outcast. I don’t want to fit in with society. I’m not gonna live […]
Aww another day of this face I have to put on daily the happy to be alive face. When inside I am dark ,sad,alone crying I have been this way since I was 15yrs old I have survived multiple attempts on my own life been institutionalized once or twice lied my way Out this face sometimes is hard to keep up that darkness inside me overwhelms me and I go somewhere and take the mask off like now in a place with over 360 people I am crying alone.but I cannot stay this way the mask must be put on again I long to be […]
Hello everybody.  I am speechless (as you can see). I joined here because i am really weak at making decisions (like death or life, joy or sadness..). I mean i and my mind are living different lives. On one day i make about three- four mind changes. I just don’t  know which one I am right now. I am always copying someone. I mean i can be myself (sometimes) but  mostly i’m trying  to be someone different. i always  think too much. i was in mental hospital. i was in mental hospital for month, i wanted to stay there more. i don’t even know why […]
So I woke up this morning, and decided I want to be better. Easier said then done, but I’m going to start trying now. I see myself in a better life, better situations and I’m going to work hard for it now.
Bring it on severe depression, I’m finally ready to fight you.
I’ve always been running from my problems. Â It started when my parents divorced and my mother gained custody of us and ran away to the Big Island. Â Then, 9th grade of high school finished up and my dad was able to gain custody and I ran away from my mom with my little brother J to Oahu, not sure whether he wanted to or not. Not sure if he knew either. There was no contact between my mother and me& J. Â Although communication was allowed, still a wall of silence. Â Things were great with my dad…but then more problems arose; problems between my dad and […]
I came here because I really don’t know who to turn to. I have never been abused or anything like that but I can’t seem to keep anything together. I push everyone around me that cares about me away. Not that there are many who care. I feel like I’m that type of person that can easily be forgotten. In a crowded room no one notices me. Sometimes I wonder how things would be if I wasn’t real. Would the people around me be better off? I would love to go to sleep and never wake up. I’ve contemplated overdosing but I’m not sure if […]
too hard to continue with life. i can’t keep go on like this. i can’t.
I’m at a crossroads now
I either die
Or I find a way to live
I better just sleep on it
I’m not in a good mind set right now
The Earth and its wonders is really a thing to behold and we are blight upon it. Really everything would be better off if we all suddenly dropped dead. Man, I hate humanity. I hate the way we think and act and just fuck up everything to get ahead in life. We cant even get along amongst ourselves especially when others think even just slightly differently with you. SERIOUSLY. FUCK THIS SPECIES! I mean I think its a simple thing to be nice and the concepts of morality and kindness is almost the same throughout the world BUT WE JUST CHOOSE TO BE ASSHOLES. What […]
I hate myself as a person. so many people make posts about how they’re so angry and so mad at everyone for ruining their lives… not me. I can’t blame anyone for any major bad things in my life… I’ve had it good.
The thing is, I ruined my own life. But you wouldn’t know it to look at it from the outside in. I have a good paying job, happily married, siblings/parents/grandparents all in my life. I don’t deserve my wife or other things in my life, but I’m a naturally flawed and ungrateful person so while I realize I don’t deserve them, that doesn’t […]
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