Rants

9

update

December 6th, 2016by adecoy95

idk if anyone remembers me or not but i just wanted to post an update since my last posting.

i made an attempt about a month ago, since then i have been getting help and more therapy, as well as new medicine.

for a few weeks it was helping really well, i started showering regularly, losing weight, going to the gym, trying to get out there. i tried a fake it till you make it approach. but its not working.

i would think that after nearly a month and a half now i would start seeing improvements, but putting my past distractions behind has ended up with me …

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0

Feel Like Dreaming While Awake. Awake While Asleep.

I re-read this comment I made while replying to The Last Snorlax on another post, and suddenly realized how much sense it made. And just like that, Sala Samobójców (aka. Suicide Room, 2011) came to mind, not sure why. Can you help me reason this? I mean the lyrics and theme don’t really match my […]

4

Do You Ever Go to Bed, Sleep For Hours, and Wake Up as If You’d Only Blinked?

It’s strange sometimes. How you can go to bed with a thought, a feeling, a sensation of sorts, and then you fall asleep for a few hours, 9 hours, or more… Yet as soon as you open your eyes it instantly is all there. The same thought, feeling, sensation, as if you only blinked while […]

1

Angel of death

December 5th, 2016by gemini

I wish the angel of death like the one off the American Horror Story tv series existed, just one kiss and your free.

I am so desperate to go now, I can’t fight myself anymore, I can feel the desperation constantly rising in me with the more and more I think about being free. Free from the pain and suffering of my health problems and the feelings of guilt and burden that I am becoming to my family.

I did have a plan in place on how to free myself but money has now become an issue and I’m going to have to make a new …

2

Don’t tell me it will get better

December 4th, 2016by Blood Rain

I’ve had depression for as long as I can remember and whether or not it’s in my genes doesn’t concern me because no matter what I do, no matter how hard I try to live – all I feel is pain.

My back is fucked up

My mind is fucked up

I have no future to look forwards to

I’m tired of this constant pain both physically and emotionally

And I’m scared. I’m surrounded by people who tell me they care about me but hardly ever act on their words. But I understand, I do. I’m not their priority and I never expected to be.

I’ve always wished I could have …

2

Step right up to receive your stigmatizing label!

December 4th, 2016by mysteriousvisitor

Since those who feel suicidal are labeled by default, this applies to everyone here.

Please select one of the following labels, so that you can be abused by society, business, and the government:

1. I am “mentally ill” because I reacted with pain, sadness, anger, fear, grief, etc. to a terrible situation (or situations) in my life. (Of course, if I react with happiness to a good situation that’s considered perfectly normal – unless I have depression, in which case if I react with happiness to something good I might be labeled as bipolar even if I don’t exhibit any form of mania).

2. I am “incurable” because …

2

Alone

December 3rd, 2016by anne33

i swear, i am tired. I’m tired of the stress, tired of the anxiety, tired of the loneliness….. the pain.

I’m tired of the same old routine with the same old people…. I’m tired of everything.

I’m tired of living. i swear, i am done.

i can’t do it,

I’m literally finished. when i say “i can’t” i mean it. I’ve skipped my extra curricular activities a lot lately, and i dont find joy in what i used to love. I’ve skipped some school too.

I’m breaking.

i am fucking breaking.

other people hurt and stay

3

pain

December 2nd, 2016by anne33

i literally wake up every day in pain. i have ocd, depression and anxiety and no one seems to understand. my friends all joke about ocd and get involved in stigma and stereotypes while im here like STOP. no one knows. i hate talking about my problems to people because i feel like im “looking for attention” which i am not! i hate attention, hence the fact i got social anxiety :'(. I also ahve insomnia so i lay awake every night and cant get my thoughts to stop racing. i have almost killed myself maybe 10 times and im surprised it didnt even happen …

3

Final Step

December 1st, 2016by Bunniekiss

I know I’m young
Only 16
But there is so much pain
Can I handle one more day of this?
I’m all alone in this.
One more day of…
Abuse
Depression
Anxiety
Never being able to be heard
Its like I’m in the ocean…
Only an inch beneath the surface
Fighting for a breathe
Only to be pushed down further and further…
By the waves of eternal rest…
Take me into your gentle caress
This is the final step.

3

Seems like i’m going to walk a little longer.

December 1st, 2016by Retsiem

Seems like i’m going to walk a little longer.

how long? no one knows, but after not having the balls to try and overdose myself it anti-depressants and pain killers for the third time i got caught by my Mother and she is not letting me out her sight and have locked every place with locks.

isnt it shameful, 20year old shut-in freak who cant even kill himself is now living a lie inside hes room and being watched all the time except when others sleep. the society doesnt even realise its destroying lives of hundreds and after that tells us its our fault and that it …

0

Day 6

December 1st, 2016by Nico The Robot

Oh hey, it’s been a really long time. Nico here.

Just to tell you guys before I start, this post isn’t going to be as happy as my others. I’ll try to cheer up though soon.

My parents make me feel so useless and stupid.. This is the best that I’ve done in school and yet.. I was so proud of myself.. Haha.. It’s really useless isn’t it?.. No matter what I do.. They never appreciate it.. Guilt talking to make it seem like I’m the bad guy.. I’m done with them.. I know they care but I just.. I’m shattering under the pressure.. like a mirror.. …

3

Last Hope Vanished – I was Born, Shaped, and MOLDED by the DARK!!!

December 1st, 2016by silverComplex

I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is …

12

United States law

December 1st, 2016by mysteriousvisitor

I was doing some additional reading on the 21st Century Cures bill that just passed the House (even though I’ve already read part of the actual bill itself) when I stumbled across an article that said there is a federal gun buying ban for anyone who holds a medical marijuana card. You can bet the pharmaceutical companies will patent medications containing THC and the government may include these drugs among those that they are all too eager to force on people through the assisted outpatient treatment program. The Cures Bill also looks like it’s going to cause additional problems for chronic pain patients.

Let’s face it, …

10

Fuck Society.

December 1st, 2016by xxcora

*No, this isn’t a bullshit tumblr post ranting about “how I don’t fit in and everyone hates me.”

I don’t think everyone hates me, but I fucking hate them. People are disgusting. Lately with the politics in America about Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton, which you have probably have heard plenty about so I won’t talk about that much. People especially around where I live, walk around saying “Black lives matter.” “You matter.” “All is accepted.” “We love you.” and more bullshit like that. Want the fucking truth? You don’t fucking love everyone, you don’t accept everyone, and you know how I fucking know that? The moment and I …

1

Done with life

November 30th, 2016by aerew54

I posted a couple years ago, lost the account and now I am back. For being as young as I am, I should not want to kill myself as baldy as I want to. I want to die from a medical cause, such as cancer or some sort of organ failure. If I die from that, then technically I did not commit suicide and my family does not have to bear the embarrassment. With all my friends going out and having sex, it seems that I am not wanted.
In my short 19 years of life I had appendicitis and a heart condition that should have …

3

Hard to believe

November 30th, 2016by dphhcl

If I live an average life, I’ve still got at least 40 years to go. My entire life and I’ve still got 2 more times what I’ve lived thus-far to go. God thats a depressing thought, even more so knowing I won’t get 2 more childhoods to go with it. Literally all the time I have ever experienced on this earth, I have to experience twice more. This must be what hell is like.

2

I’m an idiot…

November 28th, 2016by disgusting

I’ve been pretty close to killing myself more than a few times lately. I set a hard date of Nov 1st, but what usually happens is I get too emotionally and physically exhausted to carry anything out. (I have fibromyalgia, am always in pain, and with the misery I can feel emotionally, really am not able to do shit.) Then when the super moon happened, I felt energized by it and wanted to die under the intense energy of the powerful moon and for real could not find a rope rated strong enough to hold my fat ass to hang myself.

I have everything in the …

1

I get it….

November 28th, 2016by WitheringHope

You told me you would always be there for me. You told me you were my best friend. Do you not realize you are my only friend? We haven’t spoken a meaningful word to each other in weeks, or was it months? I can’t remember anymore. The only thing I know is that it feels like the only person in my life, the person I live with, never seems to be anywhere close to me. I haven’t talked to anyone in a long time. No one wants to hear my boring pointless shit. I don’t blame you. I just can’t believe you rolled your eyes …

45

Last Hope Vanished

November 27th, 2016by silverComplex

Hello, Ladies and Gentlemen.

How do you do? I’ve read many suicide notes and just registered an account to publish my own suicide note. Where do I start from? I guess from the beginning, eh. Well, I turned 22 this year on the November the 6th. Been severely depressed since 2. I had severe trauma and most likely resulted in brain damage which my parents aren’t telling me about. I have an intermediate stutter and I noticed I have a learning disability and throughout colleges and schools. I’ve been severely bullied on and off basis to the point I had to use deadly force and also been …

1

I don’t know whats wrong with me.

November 26th, 2016by lulu1999

A lot of the reason I don’t get along with my parents I think is just the generation gap.  We were raised in very different times therefore we have different views and opinions on just about everything.  And some of the problems are because they are stubborn and up-tight, but I just had the realization that most of it is my fault.  I am a generally nice person.  I go out of my way to do things for others, i sacrifice for my friends and family, but when it comes to my parents, I feel I am a totally different person.  Almost every interaction I …