Rants

3

Selfish

September 30th, 2016by Zigzag

Is it selfish to want to do nothing to fix the way I feel? Even though I dont like or enjoy feeling depressed? Is it possible I actually DO enjoy it, and have just convinced myself that I dont? I feel so twisted and tired. Is it selfish to just give up? Is it selfish to expect someone to keep living, so as to avoid greif at the loss of a loved one? Maybe I think too much.

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8

Anyone Else On Or Ever Took Effexor?

September 29th, 2016by GerbzBaby

Recently my therapist proscribed me Effexer for my depression and anxiety but it seems like it made it a bit worse? I’ve been feeling extremely nauseous after taking the pill, my heart rate picks up for no reason (I’m wondering if it’s just me having some sort of anxiety attack or it’s the pill?), I’ve felt weak and I’m trembling randomly. Anyone else have those symptoms while on this medication??? I just started it two days ago so maybe my body’s adjusting?

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3

Things are getting hard Again

September 29th, 2016by talesofme

Since I was 13 I knew that one day I would commit suicide. Ive always been able to go one more day and one more day turned into 7 years. And now things are getting so hard that I dont think I can go one more day. I feel like I cannot keep trying. I keep failing, the depression is taking control of me and I just have no reason to be happy anymore. Is life even worth it anymore.

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2

Am I ready for goodbye?

September 28th, 2016by Very.Very.Miserable

I’m at the lowest point of my life, despite only being eighteen years of age. For years I’ve struggled with severe suicidal depression, but I had friends, house parties to go to, and the ability to put smiles on people’s faces to distract me from the lingering pain that swelled in my heart.
I don’t have any of that now. I’ve been alone for months dwelling on my insignificance as a human.

I don’t have value anymore, I don’t have anything…I only desire to cease existing in an endeavor to suffice a swift end to this horrendous emptiness that lurks within me…I’m not particularly intelligent, …

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1

I love life but I hate mine

September 28th, 2016by Anonymous114

It looks like I am not the only one here who experiences these same major depression symptoms. I guess in a sense that provides some sort of sick, twisted comfort.

I seem to have a dark cloud over my head that never seems to disappear. I can never catch a break nor do I think I have ever understood what true happiness feels like. Even friends have commented on how bad my luck is. Maybe that is my problem is that I have such a negative and pessimistic attitude towards my life that the universe is determined to keep making bad things happen to me.

I have …

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1

Let Me Go

September 26th, 2016by caribgirl

I’m trying. I really am.

I’m trying to understand you and why you say things that demean me. How is it that with just your words you can take away my power? You tell me I cannot act or behave in a certain way, that I have no right to do so. I have to tell you everything going on in my life because you support me. I have to tell you where I am and what I am doing at all times. I have to let you know how I am doing in school and exactly when things are due and you take it upon …

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0

Cupid that was evil

September 25th, 2016by CARLOSPEJUAN

-Play New York by The Chain Smokers

*Out of nowhere the one girl who had a chance with me hates me.
I have no idea what I did. But one day she backed away.

Eyes saturated with beauty. Heterochromia did wonders for her.
My best friend, I could be myself with no repercussion.
My other half, her smarts, and thoughts were different in just the right ways.
My confusion, I literally thought I was gay before her.
My sadness, I don’t want to do anything if it is not with her.

Have you ever lost someone who was your sunshine?
It seems like there is none now that she is gone. …

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1

I’ve Been Here Before

September 23rd, 2016by Nopenotnow

I was here when I was in 8th grade now im a senior in highschool. Im back. My problems havent necesarily gotten worse but they also havent gotten any better. Ive met alot of people through out these years none of them have really stuck around but thats my fault . I wish i could say “Sorry for not talking to you anymore, but i had a plan that i would kill myself as soom as i graduated so i didnt really want to make long term friends. But i decided thats the wrong way to deal with my problems so i wanted to be …

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7

I give up, f**k this life

September 23rd, 2016by disgusting

I really give up. I’ve tried so hard. The last few days have been absolute shit and everything has gotten worse. My hours were cut yet again in my first job back to 10 hours a week. The same day both bosses bitched me out over every fucking thing some of which is them not knowing enough about something they should. First thing was a service we use for scheduling posts to multiple client’s accounts. Well when you add an account, the new account becomes the default to post to. So he bitches me out for posts for one client being scheduled on the new …

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4

i need help now

September 23rd, 2016by _lost_

hey this is my first post…… itll be a long one….. i dont expect anyone to read it or care but idk what to do anymore…….

my girlfriend and i were meant for each other, it seemed we were perfect for each other. we both had/ have problems (depression, anxiety, etc. all the fun stuff) but we always helped each other. it all started ten months ago, and it grew fantastically. weve done everything together……. we loved each other for what seemed like forever and would always be forever……. and then school started up again….. (first let me say that she also kinda has ptsd from …

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0

why am i doing this… why?

September 22nd, 2016by depressive_cries

i just… okay so my best friend got to know about the reason of my depression through here and i was planningto tell her but couldnt get it out of me.. now that she does know i dont know what to do but to isolate myself and i dont know what to say anymore…

things have be so grimm lately and my behaviour towards her is so unjust i hate myself not being able to come to peace with myself and tell myself that its okay, whats done is done move on.

I just cant and i dont know what to do. Maybe self isolation is my …

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5

My Letter of Resignation….

September 21st, 2016by whenallthestarsfall

My Letter of Resignation….

 

To Whom It May Concern, (aka Life, the Universe, M.H., etc)

It may have come to your attention some time ago, that I am no longer happy.  It may have come to your attention that I have no intention of staying around and being a puppet anymore.  

As I type this, I realize, it has come to your attention, for you are the cosmic force that drives me further and further into my abyss of madness.  You have pushed me into a Wonderland where the Mad Hatter not only makes more sense but is …

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19

September 20th, 2016by whenallthestarsfall

I sit here, in a new house…with new furniture, and my dog and yet, I continue to be alone.  The walls do not yet speak, for they have nothing to speak of.  I’m lost in a world with sound that has no meaning; for I do not understand what is being said.  I am lost on new ground in a void of blackness, although the sun shines.  Colors faded in and out…and the colors I once use to see with music have all but disappeared.  Where have I gone?  

I wonder….

And I wait….

Always waiting….

The end …

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7

Irritated…

September 19th, 2016by disgusting

And stressed. Time is running out, we don’t have a real plan, and my hours have been cut back down to 10 so I don’t have money to eat anything let alone save a penny. I had been trying to sell a collection of things I have that by any normal means, anyone else could sell for at least $1000 total out of everything. But because it’s *me* and the entire community believes horrible lies about me, plenty of people have piped up to “warn” people of me and the (false) accusations against me to keep people from buying so that I have no fucking …

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13

how can i be both lonely and also want to be alone at the same time?

September 19th, 2016by adecoy95

i dont want to be alone anymore, but at the same time i dont want to put myself out there.

i dont understand why being alone bothers me so much if i dont want to take effort to change it. it makes no sense

im going to turn 30 soon, i have never dated or been in a relationship with anyone, ive never been intimate with anyone

i have been considering hiring a escort, but i dont know if i could even do that, what if i got caught? would my family despise me? consider me a terrible person? could i accept that?

what if i hired one, and …

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2

it’s always denial with me

September 18th, 2016by someone_anyone

i am not going to start cutting again.

i am going to tell myself this until i do start cutting, until i just can’t help it anymore, until it’s time to tell myself again that that was the last one, honest.

this is how i deal with things: deny. deny. deny.

keep walking. it doesn’t matter how. it doesn’t matter for how long. it doesn’t matter why, or how long it takes to fall again. it doesn’t even matter if walking is possible, if i should be doing it.

i fall, and i get up.

there is nothing else. there are no apologies. there are no bandages, no balms, no …

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2

feeling lost

September 18th, 2016by bagels

I feel like i cant do life anymore, im always alone i have no one to turn to and i never have. I dont know what to do, i want to die but its such a difficult thing to go about doing but staying alive is also incredibly difficult. I feel trapped and that my circumstances will never improve and i will always be miserable and lonely. I am autistic and i have bipolar which has been affecting me since i was a small child and i feel i will never be free of misery and i am trapped in a life i do not …

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2

Here again

September 17th, 2016by TheHappyGuy

Sitting in my bed waiting for the sun to come up after another sleepless night. I’ve already decided that I’m not doing anything I had planned tomorrow, instead I’ll procrastinate another day. I’m trying to imagine a world where I could be happy, and in every perfect scenario, I’m miserable. I think, maybe, that heaven or hell doesn’t come after this. I think maybe this is already the latter. Maybe the point of this world is to prove you have what it takes to get to heaven. I like that sentiment but I don’t think I have what it takes. Maybe if I end it …

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4

free

September 15th, 2016by someone_anyone

this isn’t about me.

it never has been; life’s for the living and i am, as ever, a ghost.

i’m not real. not really.
not here. not really.
not trying. not really.
i’m not looking to leave here.

no. this isn’t about me.

this is about you. how i’m not there enough for you, not trying enough for you, not real enough for you.
how i’m just a ghost and you’re well on your way to never being like me again, if only things would let you.

life is so cruel.

i wanted you to leave me behind. to leave this behind. to never look back at all the hurt you got here.

but it went and …

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1

I’m the one who hates you now

September 12th, 2016by kamidaka

I remember that when I was a kid I craved everyone’s acceptance. My parents, my classmates. But no matter what I did, everyone still hated me.

But now, everyone is after me. Everyone praises me and is willing to do whatever I say. Now I’m the one that hates the world. These rotten people, so digusting. I treat them like shit so they can get away from me, but they don’t, they keep coming again.

It’s disgusting. People are sick. I’m sick of this world. Add this to one of the reasons I want to leave.

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