Rants

4

My crisis chat adventure(rants)

July 4th, 2015by wannadie

I was feeling pretty suicidal lately,and i cant call or talk to anyone in real life, so i tried emailing the samaritans. Ends with me having an emotional breakdown and shutting them away.

So i decided to try crisis chat instead. *clicks first webpage that popped up* -this service is available in US territories only- No.

*clicks second webpage* -this service requires steady broadband connection- No.

*clicks third webpage*-our operators are currently offline-Urgh.

*clicks fourth webpage*-this service is available in US territories only- ARGHHHHH

*clicks like a hundredth webpage* hey its online! -connects-

me: hi

Operator:hi, whats your problem?

Me: im depressed for no reason at all, and i want to die

Operator:have you …

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1

“Explore your dreams, free your world”

July 2nd, 2015by plasticflower

Today I don’t feel like myself. Well, to be fair, I can’t really remember what’s it like to feel like myself. But it’s different this time… I guess I’m kind of realizing how bad I actually am since I cant manage to even leave my room without wanting to cry. Before, I thought it was because of school, but summer vacations proved me wrong. I have to find a way to get better on my own, just because of the fact that I’m terrified of speaking about this with anyone, specially my mom. Life is risk.

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1

Dear Someone

July 2nd, 2015by One Million Masks

So I have this friend.
She’s much worse off than I am, in terms of both situation and being able to cope.

Told me she was done last night, and because I am too I didn’t bother to say anything to her.

I can’t save anyone, but I especially can’t do jack shit when everything that I try to do and everything that I try to say is thrown into The Worst Thing Ever and dragged through every mud pit available.

I don’t mind helping.
I don’t mind listening.
I can take part in every pity party anyone could ever want to throw and be there to help clean up afterwards, …

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2

I wish

July 2nd, 2015by Streamers

You know, I wish for many things. Mostly trivial, some not.

I wish for happiness. I don’t know what I wouldn’t give to be happy for even a whole day. I try, but I fail. So I wish for it every night on the first star I see.

I wish that my family actually loved me. I feel like it’s an act. At least with my siblings. They just hate me. If I could feel their love, if it’s even there, it might start a positive chain reaction.

I wish I wasn’t insecure. My insecurities seem to rule my life. They affect nearly everything I do. From eating …

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3

My life is a fucking joke.

July 2nd, 2015by TheVoidInside

A while back I posted some shit that wasn’t very thought about by me. I didn’t die, wished I did, and pussied out. Fuck… I just cried like the little bitch i am. I looked at myself in a mirror today and didn’t recognize myself. Even if they are ugly, people look in the mirror and think what they are looks good. People like you and me look into the mirror, and don’t see anything. We see someone we don’t know looking back at us. My depression got worse and worse, and the original depression became anger and hate. I have been told to go …

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7

It’s been so long and I’ve tried but I can’t cope anymore.

July 2nd, 2015by HopelessAD

It’s been so long. Been living with this pain for 3 years. I’ve tried and tried to get better. Yes I’m only 19 but I’m done. I’ve even gone and told a few friends what is going on and nothing I do and nothing they say helps. Lately I’ve hit an all time low I’ve stopped sleeping, started blasting music all night to drown out my thoughts, and then I go and hang out with friends and put on that fake smile and act happy. I’m drowning in my own pain but every time I try to get the guts to kill myself I can’t… …

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3

Home

July 2nd, 2015by Streamers

I want to go home right now. It’s where all of my supplies are. Even if I don’t use them, I like having them with me. And a day after I get home, I have to leave for three weeks. I really don’t want to. I want to stay at home. Where my supplies are. I might use them. I might not. But I don’t want to leave them.

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0

Existential Crisis

July 2nd, 2015by alonelybird

My psychologist says I’m having an existential crisis and have been my whole life pretty much. It’s strange coz I just laughed when she told me, I am numb; it wasn’t funny. I don’t care about my family anymore, I don’t care how my suicide would affect them; I just wanna die.
“Cow” by Sparklehorse, I’ve been cutting to this song for three years so it’s quite sad and trigger-ey for me. I remember this one time I was cutting, I accidently stabbed myself and it went about 4cm in. I find it funny that I can mess myself so bad and no one ever knows. …

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2

July 1st, 2015by One Million Masks

Caught
In a rut, in a strut
In always having rotten luck
In parading around, no end to be found
To always letting myself get cut
And burned
By the same old things

Caught
In a lie, by and by–
In the absence of cut and dry
It’s easier to smile and avoid their eyes
Than to let loose the truth I have no name for,
No cage for

Caught
In a lack if words
Between maybe wanting to be heard
And a need to never be seen again,
A wish to hide away from the world

Caught
With a snap, in a trap,
Falling into the ancient mass of broken things with useless wings

Caught
But not–

I am lost.

And it is, really, all my fault.

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0

I feel dead inside

July 1st, 2015by Streamers

Everyday I live out life, but I feel like a shell. Empty to the point of numbness. I feel like I have nothing to do with my life. Like nothing good could ever come out of me living. I’m so dead inside, I don’t know what to do.

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3

Sweet Release

June 30th, 2015by FromthePitofmyBurningNausesousStomach

Ultimately we have to look inside ourselves for these brief moments of catharsis. Most of life is pain, but in those brief moments everything clashes and life becomes, just for a moment, too beautiful to take. And for a second you can hold your breath and feel your soul heaving. I love you West. Lets share these moments of beauty and mystery together.But I also want to truly, for the first time in my life, accurately describe my suffering, and emphasize it. And I’ve been hurting a lot lately, and she says she’s ok and she doesn’t mind,

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8

I wish I were dead.

June 30th, 2015by disgusting

I’m at wits end. I don’t deserve anything. I don’t deserve happiness. I don’t deserve a job I can live off of. I don’t deserve a place to live. I don’t deserve love. I don’t deserve anything apparently. I try so hard, but I’m worthless, useless, ugly, no one would ever want me. I know I shouldn’t do this but I want to prove that I’m right, and show you just what an ugly, hideous, wretched monster I am. I’m not mad at the person I love. I’m mad at the universe or any higher power that made me this way. Why make me dream …

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5

Titles mind fuck me

June 30th, 2015by Beth.

Today i started off the day feeling terribly empty. I had a really bad dream the previous night so that didnt help at all.

.. God i feel fucking horrible.

Im tired, im stressed and i most certainly do no understand the point in this game anymore.

A very wise man once said ‘ There’s no point in playing a game once the game stops seeking to provide you with pleasure. If 99% of the game bores you to death.. Why on earth do you continue to play it?”

Meh, well he said something close to that..

Anyways my point is… Why am i putting myself through …

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1

I hate the world sometimes

June 29th, 2015by Streamers

Right now is one of those times…

At least the feeling is mutual between the world and I. The world truly does hate me.

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3

Why am I so lost?

June 29th, 2015by violinplayer22

I don’t know how or why I even decided I wanted to commit suicide. I have an amazing and loving family, a group of beautiful friends, and amazing health. Yet, despite all this, I have decided that suicide is the right way to turn. Yeah, I’ve had problems with anxiety for the past 5 years, and I lost my best friend to his slut girlfriend, but this shouldn’t be my only option.

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6

My Dream Is Crashing Down

June 29th, 2015by GerbzBaby

Ever since I was little I’ve always wanted to be an artist. An artist who could draw anything or anyone if I set my mind to it. I would always fantasize what It’d be like to be one of those ‘famous artists’ who people look up to (no one has ever looked up to me for anything and when people have ill tell you it’s a real honor). But it’s been years now and my art skills are starting to lack more than it ever has before.

Every time I come across an amazing drawing I start to feel angry and sad.. wondering why my art …

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1

Just a bit of a let out.

June 29th, 2015by DaemonRIAL

Just of a bit of let out from all of the emotions that have built up so far. I’m just unscrewing the lid of the bottle and only open slightly as I slightly tilt the bottle full of negativity.

Sure, I’ll play that role of that cheerful friend who is fine with all of your jokes. I’ll be that friend that you can call at 3 am cause I’ll always be awake.

“You’re not sleeping?” She asks.

“Hmmmmm, maybe in a minute, I found this video on the internet.”

I’ll be the one who is always there to stay quiet at the times needed, I won’t ask why you’re …

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9

June 28th, 2015by ashley

my friend acts like she has bigger problems than everyone. I’m not discrediting her depression, but considering the fact that I used to self harm and am on 187.5 mg of antidepressants, I think she needs to step back and consider the fact that other people have problems. it’s all dandy to talk about yourself but it’s a major trigger for me to talk about it, so maybe she should save it for her therapist.

i need people who don’t define themselves by their depression.

 

whoops I’m totally sorry that I decided to share my opinion. I guess this site is for people who want to try …

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2

Losing sleep

June 27th, 2015by deerdezz

Ive started hearing voices again at night, without any real cause. They whisper my name and other little things to hushed to really make out. Its still taunting though, always enough to catch my attention and startle me. I really hate it. It makes me question what reality is, whose really there…I know its all in my head but its so hard to ignore. So hard to push away.

They keep trying to get me to do things. I cant function anymore…i cant be social anymore. I hate even stepping out of the house. I dont even feel safe when i sleep. What is actual sleep …

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1

The mania..

June 26th, 2015by deerdezz

It always makes me believe there’s a chance things can work out but I know that’s not true. I get this sudden urge to do things but never really make due. Plan to go out or be sociable but those plans fail and I’m back at square one. Such a false sense of joy because in a few hours or a day and it’ll be gone, just like that. No explanation, no deal I can make to get it back…it does what it wants. It wants to toy with me and it just hurts all too much. If I’m to be miserable why taunt me, …

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