Rants

0

Messy

May 21st, 2015by Agent Purple

Everything is messy. It’s the messed up kind of messy, the disorganized messy, and the kind to be looked down upon.

I’ve come to realize a couple things. The things I think are not truly what I feel or what I believe in or how I am. I thought that the reason I cut myself was for the rush, but all my reasons for cutting feel like excuses and they often contradict each other. Willpower- I thought it had something to do with willpower. I thought it made me feel stronger if I could withstand greater pain (I’m fully aware that that is  idiotic looking at …

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9

I don’t want to live life, it bores me… and I have not enough will power to do things. I’m lazy. Do you think I could do something about my life?

May 21st, 2015by Baenum

It all started when I was little. I would look up at other kids doing things and I would wonder: why? why are they doing all that? I know, there are existentialist questions and I am kinda existentially depressed. The meds cannot get as far as my body and I do feel better physically, I […]

0

???

May 21st, 2015by mranony

I don’t know why people keep connecting with me. I know it’s flattering and some people might actually would do anything to get that but it’s rather hard for me. I know spending time with friends would take me away from my problems for a while and that is nice but I know I’m going to be an ass and ruin it. I don’t even know if I’m being an ass or not. I don’t know if people accept me or just trying to keep a profile. I am weird and extremely moody. One shit can hurt me like what AM I!?

I am fine being …

11

It’s hard to deal with this as a Christian. I feel so guilty…

May 21st, 2015by SilentScream

I know I’m supposed to forgive, or else I won’t be forgiven. I know I’m supposed to pray for those who hurt me, but it’s not always easy. I’m having flashbacks of things my parents said to my brother and I

  • No one will ever want you
  • When you move out, don’t come back
  • You’re trash
  • You’ll never be anything
  • You’re a motherfucking piece of shit, you know that?

And did

  • locking him in a closet
  • making him sit outside for hours as they kept the door locked
  • “Spanking” us until they saw blood

And more. I don’t want this to affect the rest of life, I want to forget, but I can’t . I …

2

the United States Marine Corps

May 20th, 2015by sadsadist

The only thing that meant to me before I met my love and my life quickly became complete nothingness and complete shit i wait everyday for that chance to prove myself and become one of the few the proud and before I know it I will maybe thats what keeps me going everyone could use some reason some motivation

15

I am truly sorry.

May 20th, 2015by alonelybird

I’m gonna fucking kill myself soon, I almost did today, but like all the other times I backed out because I’m a fucking failure and a coward. I’m sorry to everyone for having to know that I exist, but don’t worry because I’m going to be gone soon.

2

Apathy now … I know my time is limited

May 20th, 2015by doesntreallymatter

Never occurred to me I could be in a world with so many people and yet feel so alone. Used to think talking would help. It did. But then i lived long enough to grow up. Talking is a waste of time and i dont care to trouble people with my issues. Rough life … Sure but i know others have had it worse than me. My mind and spirit isnt better than the next person nor my tolerace and ability to recover. There is no organ transplant for a damaged spirit. Religion and relationships are wishful thinking. I earn my living helping to ease …

4

Been thinking about it

May 19th, 2015by jrmeador94

I’ve been having thoughts of ending my life. Again. Nothing is gray though. Everything is just mediocre. My life, my emotions, my future. I don’t want it. I want to feel like in the movies. It sounds weird but they’ve got color, emotions, people who fight for it and win. I’ve been fighting for a long time to better myself, but it hasn’t been working.

The crazy thing is that I envy the disorders that prevent empathy or feeling. I catch myself wanting to not feel at all, especially when my life is going to the shit bucket. I’ve tried porn, sex, drugs, booze, but they barely work and …

5

May 19th, 2015by breezywillow

When i was six i was molested by my cousin went i was seven all my cousins and brothers where involved then i was raped at 15 on my birthday while growing up with an abusive family i met a boy i fell for him was faithful while he wasnt and he turned to beating me. I have no family no friends and am about to loose my home because some jerk photo shopped a picture a nudy one and posted it all over fb… i no longer want to try fight or anything… i just wanna die im alone and i was always told …

1

Anxiety is a Bitch

May 19th, 2015by T-Rex

Anxiety is the unwelcome guest within my mind. Nay, not a guest, but the unwelcome demon that inhabits the depths of my being, not just my mind. It captures my whole body in its icy tendrils that are mistaken for its hands, it slams loud noises and makes me jump, it causes me to sweat and shiver at the same time. My heart races faster than a horse at the Kentucky Derby finish line, causes my hands to shake more than the milkshakes that bring the boys to the yard, and forces my brain to whirl in a fashion not unlike the Tasmanian Devil from …

1

5 poem

May 19th, 2015by alonelybird

I fell through
Down into the blue
The tide’s taking me away
I know I can’t stay
It’s been nice to know you
But I have to go too
Don’t we all?
After we’ve had a fall
And I’ve fallen too low
So now you know
The extent of my sorrow
It’s longer than tomorrow
You’ll hear me cry
Forever till I die
Hanging loose
From a noose

1

Six

May 18th, 2015by the-lord-of-the-lamps

Life is fleeting. The only good thing about my life is that one day, I will die. The inevitability of death is comforting, in a way. It doesn’t matter how much I fuck up because one day it will all just be over. It doesn’t matter how alone I am because one day I’ll just leave everyone behind.

I used to be scared. I was absolutely terrified of dying and what happens after. Now, I just can’t wait for everything to end. It doesn’t matter what happens after I die, I don’t care anymore. Sure, I have things I want to accomplish before I pass, but I know …

4

Not Getting Easier

May 17th, 2015by thatmazdaguy

Well, it’s not getting any easier. Everyday seems to be more and more challenging. I think I’m at the end of my rope. Everyone just keeps saying time with heal everything, and it’s becoming a very annoying phrase to hear. Everyday I question my existence. I’ve wrote my not last week while at work. I’m leaving it in my box for access when I’m gone. I want to scream out for help so bad, but I know I can’t. It seems like a act for attention to most people. I’ve really only told one person that I considering it. And once again, I get told …

*

May 17th, 2015by saishoku kenbi

I slammed my fist on my desk and then apologized, to the desk.

Delete all my posts or set them to private.. *shrug*

Seems like I’m under an interrogation session, and whatever I post is on surveillance.

“So…leave.”

5

Not ready?

May 16th, 2015by Alonelyfool

I wish there was a pill that killed me. I just want a way out. But I’m too weak to do it myself. I always think “what about my dog?” Or “how will anyone find me if I kill myself at home?” Those are things I shouldn’t be worried about. Am I truly ready to off myself?

10

Why is it so hard for ppl to love you the same way you love them?

May 16th, 2015by alliwantislovenhappiness

I’m 33 and I have felt unloved my entire life. My family doesn’t think Im good enough. My dad called me a screw up a loser n that I’ll never amount to anything. And no man will ever love me. I have been in love with a man (my sons father) for 10 yrs. yes he cheats. Yes he’s living with his daughters mother but still is wanting to be with me. I am naive. I have never felt love like I have felt from him. I trust him I adore him I stood by him thru think n thin. He helped me become better. …

7

Now What?

May 15th, 2015by nova88hb

I know that I can create a new future for myself at any moment.  But I cannot escape the past I have created.  I’m 33, and have a master’s degree in engineering.  I struggled my way through school, working full time at night some years to get through.  I had mediocre grades, and now I teach college for $35,000 a year.  It doesn’t cover my bills, and nobody else will hire me because my grades are too low.

I should have never been an engineer though.  I have always been interested in meteorology.  I am most of the way through a degree in it as well. …

1

Frustrated at Counselor Today

May 15th, 2015by JustReallySad

So I went to see my counselor today and it seemed like the biggest waste of time.  I’ve always suspected this is her first job out of college.  I thought I organized my thoughts pretty good with her, but she really had no insight to offer me.  I’m not really ready to say she’s not a good fit because last time I saw her I thought things went pretty well.  Anyone who’s been following my story knows I’m going through a divorce.  I shared with the counselor that I was bewildered by my soon to be ex’s new found niceness and and she really had nothing to …

1

I think too much

May 15th, 2015by T-Rex

Sometimes I think I think too much. Actually, I know I think too much. What the fuck is this? Second post in like a week or something. Clearly I’m falling downhill, I made a strong vow to myself to not come back here and post unless I was in dire need of venting, and I guess I’m there.

 

1. Worried as hell about my new summer job, as I will miss a lot of other events I wanted to do this summer

2. Wanted to teach myself multiple languages this summer and can’t now because will be too busy

3. I’m ridiculously inadequate in terms of every single …

3

I’m not human

May 15th, 2015by disgusting

I’m not a human being to anyone. All my friends are fake and liars, full of shit, false hopes and false promises.

The guy I had fallen for bitches endlessly about how alone he is, how bad he wants someone, and how he needs to be loved bit ignores me like I don’t exist. No response means that I don’t matter and I don’t count for shit. As I never have in life.

Even people here are wrong and full of it. My only replies are on what women want and how to get a woman when I have said I am not interested in women! I …