Rants

0

Im new here..and i kinda feel..

July 30th, 2014by onetoosmall

I feel a little..bleh..if you know what I mean. I have a pretty good life right now. But. I don’t like me. I hate me. I wrote a lot more explaining why but I accidentally deleted it..Oops. I would rewrite it but it’s 1am and yeah.. but suicide has kinda been on my mind for…5 years for more reasons accidentally deleted. I’m older now but still I really would like to uhm…sleep forever. So uh.. night -Someone who wanted to talk

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1

Is anyone out there?

July 29th, 2014by aislinn33

Fuck my life. I want to die. I feel so alone and empty. There is so much pain it is unbearable. All day I pretend to be fucking okay and I am not. I go to work and do everything but I am not okay. I smile and laugh and say, “Yes, I’m doing good,” when its all a bloody lie. There is no end to this pain. It is unrelenting, stalking me through every moment of every day, reaching out to suffocate me with its gnarly hands. I am a shell.

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18

thoughts

July 28th, 2014by thelostgirl1499

These thoughts in my head are horrible.

I’m so scared,it’s not even the fact im having suicidal thoughts,its the fact that nobody can hrlp me and that this time they’re scaring me.

They’re winning.

For the first time in a long time.

What do i do?i dont feel in control i just keep screaming and crying,i cant eat and im struggling to stand for long periods of time..

I dont want too go,not yet..but i might have too.

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1

My life

July 28th, 2014by Beff50

I guess I realized I was different from the other kids around grade 4. I had big glasses, blonde hair, Scrawny, and a little bit on the short side. I grew up in a small town in a poor area in Vermont, pretty much in spitting distance of the Canadian border. My father is a city boy who grew up in Hartford Connecticut, My mother is a country girl from Brownington Vermont. Who I am is a direct result of their differences. My dialect is pure Vermonter, Until I get upset, Once that happens that Connecticut accent initiates full swing. Vermont is a strange place, …

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3

so tired

July 28th, 2014by dizzies

I have experienced frequent depression since I was about 13. At 22, I still can hardly see why being alive is worth the effort. I’m just so tired of trying, so tired of other people, so tired of this atrocious, toxic society. It’s so hard to be an empath in a world of people who couldn’t even dream of thinking of anyone but themselves. I feel so trapped and alone, even though there are such amazing people in my life. My boyfriend and I moved back to our hometown about a year ago, and everything just seems to be going downhill now. His kind but …

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10

hi

July 28th, 2014by bully

I am 37 and have 2 kids who could easily live without me, a dead end job that barely pays enough to keep the utilities on and gas in the car, no friends, no life outside of work. I spend most of my time staring, reading, or playing whatever game my mouse happens to click on the computer. I am chronically I’ll with an undiagnosed ailment which is most likely going to kill me even if I don’t . I don’t drink or use drugs or terrorize my kids. Growing up and in highschool and the years shortly following, being with someone was at the …

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3

The inevitable loss of faith in humanity.

July 27th, 2014by 21yearsofexistence

It’s never ending. Every time I recover I get hit with another blow. I’ve made it through trial after trial, never knowing how I ended up on the other side alive. I’m not going to tell my life’s story in my first post on this site, but I will give some insight. I’ve lived the majority of my life alone. What time I was around people; “family”, shelters, fosters, etc.; I always felt different, unwelcome, crazy. I’ve contemplated my death since the beginning of my memories, in a way it fascinates me. I’ve just never had the balls to actually go through with it, I …

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3

Disintegrated

July 27th, 2014by robban

Its like a cancer of the soul. Many years of pain and suffering, and the only thing that makes it better is bad things. I dont wanna live. I dont always wanna die. Im like in a limbo or something.

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13

an attempt to rise before the fall

July 26th, 2014by copelessness

I’ve been thinking about some advice M gave the other day and I think I am going to try a variation of it. He recommended that someone try for a little longer and that suicide is still an option if all else fails.
I’m going to do that.
I know the outcome probably won’t be good but maybe it will take a weight off me if I approach everything knowing that in two months from now and things haven’t even marginally improved, I will make sure it’s my last day alive. It sounds weird but since coming to this conclusion, I actually feel …

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0

July 26th, 2014by Theory

I hear voices in my head

I believe fairies dwell in flower beds

The night is a mystery and not my friend

For I see things at every corner and end

I cry for four days a week

Because of blame and sorrow my heart can’t keep

My dreams, like everyone else, have gone

Because they too are tired to go on

I don’t believe I belong

Life has been singing that to me like a song

I am a poet, but to everyone my poems appear

To be of sadness, yearn, insecurity, and fear

There’s a new voice in my head

That says I’d rather be better off as dead

But since I’m still present

And death may seem

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1

Thanks

July 26th, 2014by BreakMeFree

Dear mother,

I really really don’t like you. But I’m trying hard not to say “I hate you.” But thank you so much for making my life a living hell sometimes. Thank you so much for making me go into actual depression. Thank you so much for controlling my life. Thank you so much for threatening to punish me for the things I don’t do, instead of thanking me for the stuff that I actually do for you. And the list can continue. But instead of continuing, I’m just going to say you’re welcome for leaving you in the dark about all of this because there is no doubt that you are actually happier this way. …

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0

Do you wanna build a snowman

July 26th, 2014by marcusallan

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I feel sad all the time. I cant even watch a kids movie without thinking the fake cartoon I see on the screen is the saddest thing out. I just wanna be normal again and this pain to go away, im sick of feeling this way

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6

Is it a gift

July 26th, 2014by gonna die

Do you REALLY think its a gift

a gift that you dont want

a gift that haunt your whole life

a gift thats makes people uneasy

a gift that people think that your a fucking weirdo

a gift that people makes fun of you

well sorry to tell you this

BEING BI/GAY IS NOT A GIFT

some people learn to live with it

but some dont

I dont

 

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4

No hate

July 25th, 2014by poisontongue

The site says no hate, but there’s plenty of hate.

I hate being me.  I hate existing.  I hate living in this world.  This trap.

I hate being alone, rejected, unable to live.

I hate that anyone pretends that things get better.

I hate that suicide is never an option.

I hate being forced to live when I know full well it is hopeless.

 

I don’t want this.  I don’t want to sit here and struggle any longer.  I don’t want to have to struggle my entire life.  I just want to sit back and fade away.

I go to martial arts and I practice, fine.  An hour of distractions while standing …

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100

kill ted nugent..pretty please?

July 24th, 2014by misanthrope

I have considered suicide and homicide intermittently for years because I have trouble living with the knowledge of how horrible people are,and the despicable things they do. I feel more homicidal tonight,but thats a Good thing..its much less painful,and its pretty fucking fun,too.. If you could take a moment to consider my note,id appreciate it immensely.  Has anyone ever heard of a song called “Wang Dang Sweet Poontang”? Well,look-if not you need to jump over to Youtube and witness the spectacle of a loincloth/ bikini clad Ted Nugent wearing Uggs (of course I know theyre not real Uggs,duh.they werent IN back then,but it sounds funnier.he …

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20

This Is Not an Exit

July 23rd, 2014by Nullify

I’d like to start this off by saying hello to all you fellow less than content members of the human race (or Realists as I like to refer to us). I’m new to both this site and the general concept of sharing my darkest, innermost thoughts. So, you know, bear with me if it takes a little while for me to fully open up (or at least until I’ve gotten a few more beers in me). I’ve always been more of the silent, keep my thoughts to myself type. I suppose I’ve been of the mindset that as long as my issues aren’t vocalized, they …

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9

everyone has a tragic story don’t they?

July 23rd, 2014by gem723

Just like everyone else i guess i have a heartbreaking terrible life story that everyone should feel bad for me for.  There’s always someone who will have it worse, who will have it better, who will be poorer, who will be richer, who will be worse off, who will be prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, funnier, the list that goes on and on. were all different but one of the few things we all have in common are that we want to be heard, to be noticed, and to be loved. thats why most of us are on here. so here it goes:

as far as things …

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1

Undetermined.

July 23rd, 2014by Tatiana

My name is krysta, but you can call me tatiana. I’m 15 and I have severe depression and anxiety. I don’t really know how to put everything in the order that it happened so I guess I can just tell you bits of my story and they’ll fall together and make sense in the end.

I think my depression started in the 5th grade. I was living with my biological dad. And addict. To this day I am not sure what drugs he does. The ones I know for certain are pot and pain killers and possible meth. He was never in my life much. …

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7

no one is exempt.

July 22nd, 2014by emwhy

I turn twenty in September. I stand at 5’4”, 123 lbs, and am generally a healthy eater. I played the piano for seven years when I was younger and received copious amounts of praise for my talent. I enrolled in various activities, from fencing to tae kwon doe to art classes. I graduated high school with a 3.96 GPA and seven Advanced Placement courses under my belt. After all that, I was accepted into a prestigious university and ready to blossom into a confident, intelligent, self-sufficient and successful young woman, to break out of my shell, to take on the world.

I haven’t blossomed. In fact, I’ve completely

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1

I just want

July 22nd, 2014by gonna die

I want to end this

i want to suicide so bad

but apparently i cant

i just cant

Just because of

Christianity

They say you’ll go to hell

Thats just so stupid

why cant we end our life

its ours

The police puts u into a

mental hospital if they catch u

trying to attempt suicide

well maybe o shouldnt be afraid

this might be the last thing i write

so

im not scared anymore

so bye

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