Rants

1

whats my purpose…

September 19th, 2014by mrlopez1415

This feeling of, ‘wanting to just die’ has last for about 4 years now.  I’ve tried hanging myself multiple times, but I always fail…  I use to walk down the road hoping a car would hit me.  I’ve had close near death experiences from drugs and alcohol, but wonder why I hadn’t died?  That raises the question to what is my purpose on this planet.  Nowadays, I have no urge to kill myself, but just hopes that something would just end me instantly. So now I try to hope everyday, that a miracle (that I think in the back of my mind won’t happen) would …

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25

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

September 17th, 2014by Autumn Jane Sky

Hi. I found this site last February by accident and have been popping in once and a while to check out posts. Today I decided to register. Why so? I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I’ve tried two ways now to die, both have failed on numerous attempts. I’m seeing a psychologist and I’m on medication to control my anxiety problems and depression. I’m 4’2″ living with a type of dwarfism known as achondroplasia. I absolutely hate my body and luv carving it with pretty red sketches. There are voices inside my head and they aren’t all that pleasant. So Yeh, I’m …

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47

Suicide By Dehydration

September 16th, 2014by FlipFlap

I  don’t really need to tell my story. I’m not looking for hope in this life. I just wanna share with you this technique that I really think is gonna work.. hopefully. Beginning from September 15th, tomorrow, I’m gonna start not drinking any water. I tried this like twice before and I really felt like at the 3rd day, usually that day, that something’s going wrong with my heart. It was beating in an abnormal way and it was a little hard for me breathing.

First time I tried this I was quitting on drinking water and eating food so what happened

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2

fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!

September 14th, 2014by niki

fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!

I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and …

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4

Sometimes it just gets a bit much

September 14th, 2014by coconut

I don’t know how this works, I’ve never done this before but I need some kind words right now. I’ve lost a part of myself. It’s so hard to be happy. So hard to be motivated. Surrounded by people but if you open up they always leave. 2 psychologists are helping me work through what happened, but I just need a friend.

My life story – I was always the happy one. But I was raised in a post apocalyptic cult and was psychologically abused until 21. I come from a broken family with domestic violence. My mum is not mentally there, still severely damaged from sexual abuse at a …

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26

Shameful

September 12th, 2014by DayDreamer6

Afraid to say it

don’t want to admit it

but

I need someone.

Anyone.

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3

A piece of me

September 12th, 2014by HopefulForMe

Hi everyone, lately I’ve been thinking more and more about suicide. Over a year ago I met this guy who I feel in love with and after about 8 months I was told he had a girlfriend. Imagine the hurt and betrayal I felt by this. Sadly I wasn’t strong enough to walk away from him, it’s like he had some kind of control over me. I finally got to a place where I walked away from him for good about 5 months ago. I’ve been trying to better myself and move on with my life, I’m only 22. I’ve been trying to get back …

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0

Your opinion?

September 11th, 2014by DayDreamer6

Things are hectic. I have no control anymore. The more I tried to be normal the further away I was. I participated in “normal” activities. Yet I would always end up in the same place.

Crying my eyes out.

Alone.

In the closet.

Blade in my right hand.

Twiddling between my pointer and thumb.

Waiting for relief.

Asking whoever is listening, ‘why’.

Convincing myself not to do it.

Never believing.

Why can’t I be like all the reindeer in the reindeer games?

Red.

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5

We Feel Alone

September 11th, 2014by DayDreamer6

All of us have so much in common. It’s both amazing and heartbreaking. Imagine all of us getting together and just chatting. Being face to face with the people who are really there for you.

There must be some alternate universe where all of us are happy, truly happy. No longer faking it, no more suffering, just happiness.

 

What a childlike dream.

We all may feel alone but we’re alone together. Even if it’s not face to face. The first day I posted on here, I was in a very dark place. More specifically, I was standing on a bridge looking down at the water. Wondering. What would …

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1

I don’t even know what this post is

September 11th, 2014by queenofdarkness

When “I’m depressed”

comes out of the mouth of a 7 year old,

a kid too young to know what it really means,

you say “Don’t be one of those people, they’re selfish.”

Knowing full well that I am one of “those people.”

 

Is it terribly adolescent of me

to think,

“Oh yeah? You know what’s selfish? You. You and your fucking religion, fucking forcing me to do things I don’t believe in, praying fucking five times a day, wearing a fucking headscarf every fucking day, pretending I like the sexist homophobic Arab-elitist bullshit that spews out of the mouths of the imams giving the Friday sermons. You and your little victim …

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9

I’m going to kill myself tonight

September 11th, 2014by trippylikenirvana

I really need to let my story. I can’t tell anyone and I won’t tell anyone most of this. I’m going to go in order of events, and you tell me if I have a right to kill myself.

I was born in Iraq, during the war. It was horrible. I was never able to have a good night’s sleep. I always thought I was going to get murdered, bombed, raped. I was so scared. I was only 5. When I was 6, a week or two after my birthday, my dad went to work, like usual. On the way there, he got shot twice in …

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42

I’m in Quite a Pickle

September 11th, 2014by JustLauren

As many of us do, I want to commit suicide. Always have since I was about ten years old. I’m 21 now. I have a plan. I have the materials I require. I have my two, short notes written out and sealed in envelopes. But there’s a problem. See, I work at a hospital every other week. And the week that I don’t work there I do home health care with a family that I’m very close to. I know I can’t commit suicide on a whim because I can’t just not show up for work the next day. I’d have to actually plan a …

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4

Ugh

September 11th, 2014by depressednihilist95

Life is a depressing experience. Each day at college, I feel like I’m being forced against my will to conform to society. I’m only going to college because it’s either that, work for no reason, or suicide (such great choices). Seriously, there is no reason for me to work because I don’t want life. I’ve thought I might want a boyfriend, but I’ve never had one, and why bother? Relationships never last, and I’ve been told that I’m too sick to have one (so I guess I’m also unworthy of love). I don’t look forward to anything after college, or life in general. To be …

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14

Is It?

September 10th, 2014by DayDreamer6

Is it sad that the only reason I’m still living is for my pets?

Is it sad that I steal my mothers pain medication?

Is it sad that I sleep with a football player who I have no feelings for?

Is it sad that whenever people ask me if I’m okay I avoid the question?

Is it sad that every day I dream about ending my life?

Is it sad that the only response I give people is “I don’t care”?

Is it sad that I’ve drawn everyone away?

Is it sad that my father doesn’t even know how to spell my name?

Is it sad that I’m so desperate for help that …

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6

Hard Knock Life

September 10th, 2014by DayDreamer6

Okay, well where should I begin? First, you should know that I’m not a very open person. At all. Second, I’ve been “depressed” for about a year now. Or maybe longer, I don’t really know. Not many people know about my depression. And yes I’ve self harmed many times.

 

This is currently my second day of missing school and I’m so far behind already that it’s frightening. I lack the motivation to do anything anymore. I’ve basically ruined every relationship I’ve ever had. And I’m currently destroying all my friendships because I don’t have the energy to keep up with everyone. Have I tried discussing this …

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1

Changing quickly

September 9th, 2014by SOrmerod

Okay, in the past week I’ve run the full spectrum of emotions.  From depression, to anxiety, to straight out mania.  Right now I’m manic.  While I’d rather be manic than depressed.  However, rather than those I would rather just feel like myself.  Quiet, introverted, shy, but still secure in myself enough to know my worth.  Right now I’m everything but that.  Excitable, fidgety, talkative, basically sprung as though I’m about to run a 10k.  Don’t like this.  It’s a trap!  I’m telling myself I’m more productive in this state but that’s just a lie.  In actuality, nothing gets finished.  Everything is left half complete,  which …

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2

The Irony of Work Progression

September 9th, 2014by depressednihilist95

I find it ironic how wealthy and successful people can be so depressed, yet society acts as if humanity is advancing for the better by replacing human connections with emotionless machines and business practices. Seriously, there are people working on sex robots because they’re so tired of being raped by humanity.

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1

New here…and just needed to type/vent/be…

September 9th, 2014by BethChilds

Ugh. What’s brought me here tonight. My blood is so heavy. I’m exhausted. Really been feeling the physical symptoms of depression for the last 2 weeks.  I’ve had two attempts about 4 years ago. I will admit they were probably more a cry for help than anything else. I wanted…needed my pain to be seen and I chose a stupid way to do that. Both times were embarrassing. Hospital time and then 72 miserable hour holds. I swore to myself I’d never do it again unless I knew I could succeed, which leaves me in this really shitty position I’ve been in for awhile now. …

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41

Still wishing someone would end my life..

September 8th, 2014by EvilKitten

My life is in chaos right now. I’m moving to a different state on Wednesday. I’m gonna be couch surfing with a guy who will let me stay in exchange for me being a chauffeur. I put an ad out on Craig’s List saying I needed a place to crash and I’d do chores and cook in trade. I’ve gotten so many responses of basically “sleep with me and you can stay as long as you like”.

I hate people. I’m not a whore. If I were, I would certainly go for a sugar daddy type instead of someone who will let me sleep on their …

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