Rants

0

Damn Irony

July 28th, 2015by T3mplar

I dont honestly know why im writing here for everyone to see, its not the kind of person i am to seek attention from anyone and that’s not really my intent. Ive had depression for majority of my life id say ever since high school with 3 attempts on my life however since then ive for the most part repressed as much as i could. I think im writing this literally to scream out my thoughts and how im feeling in the moment now and its just this overwhelming sense of helplessness and failure.

The Irony of this post is that i ‘should’ be okay, ive …

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0

Something frustrating

July 27th, 2015by goingnumb

My doctor told me he can’t help me by himself. Meaning he wants me to go to somebody else… The problem with that is I hate talking and I don’t trust people so easily plus I don’t have insurance so my doctor gives me a deal when I go for a check up. There’s barely any groups around me its just frustrating he won’t see me again until I go and see someone else and he gets their opinion. Problem is he also won’t refill my medicine one day without Paxil after on it forever tears me apart from the inside out.

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0

All the things I want to say to them that I can’t

July 26th, 2015by impossible_girl

My almost friend: I was starting to trust you. Me. The woman who fears trusting people almost more than she fears anything else in this world; trust is the fastest way to pain and betrayal. I guess it’s my fault, in that case, for letting my guard down and letting you in. Thank you for reminding me why trust is toxic, and why my fellow females, especially, are to be treated with the utmost wariness. When we first started becoming “friends” (I cannot give legitimacy to that now), you told me you were sick of people using you and lying …

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2

oikjuhgfsdfrghj

July 25th, 2015by darkwillow

I don’t know guys.. Life isn’t going to well. And people don’t really like me. I feel unwanted. Why am i here.

I don’t like to think about what could have happened.. Because I’m always trying to accept the present. But i can’t help it this time, to think about if i had killed myself in 8th grade like i had planned to.

Everyone’s lives end at some point.

Um anyways.. Thanks again.

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3

The Trigger

July 25th, 2015by anotherfailure

I know on my previous post, I talk about how things started to work out for me. However, as expected, my world has crumbled down again, and I’ve found the trigger. My own father. He doesn’t love me, he is not proud of me, all he does is blaming me and being sarcastic as hell to me. He gives this overwhelming affection to my sister, he talks to her, he shows how much he loves her in front of me.

These past couple days, I felt perfectly fine. Today, I feel like shit. I started crying with no reason again, I have this urge to hurt …

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3

I wish i was good enough

July 25th, 2015by disgusting

I wish being good to him was enough. I wish giving everything I have to give was enough. I wish loving and adoring him were enough. I wish it wasnt all about looks and money. I wish I could be the one to worship him. I wish I counted. I wish he believed my love was real instead of desperation as he thinks it is. I wish he weren’t superficial at all. I wish I didn’t have to be without him. He thinks it’s unhealthy to love just one person… and I don’t think it’s anything close to love to want a dozen or more …

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2

and it begins

July 24th, 2015by Dorothy Gale

I don’t know how I can stay afloat in a world that is so harsh and cruel. I can’t seem to pretend, like everyone else, that it’s okay, that I’m okay. I can’t “suck it up.” If I try that, I eventually explode, which is basically what happened last night at work. I’m too weak, too sensitive. No place in the world for someone like that. Even in nursing there is so much bullshit to go around. I just don’t belong anywhere. My efforts are for nothing.

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3

Guilty

July 24th, 2015by anotherfailure

I am so used to of being sad, depressed, etc that it has become my comfort zone. Perhaps it wasn’t that bad back then, you know, sometimes i still be able to feel happy, shut my emotions off but when i turn it on again, BOOM, all the negativity come flooding back it overwhelms me. Then, things got worse. I stopped trying to feel happy. I let myself being sad all the time. Now, that everything is starting to work out for me, I feel guilty. I feel guilty, for I know there are a lot of people out there not feeling the same.

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2

July 15, 2015, 1:51 AM

July 23rd, 2015by allisnotwell

I’m empty, but deep down I feel a very distinct emotion of hate, and sorrow. My mind is very confusing, to say the least. There are trap doors that hide behind old memories collecting dust, and I don’t have a flash light to rummage through broken dreams without being cut. Too bad my scars are not able to completely fade away, I can not hide everything from everyone and I seem to do a shit job at it anyway. But what I find is that the people who notice are the people who really care. I mean, if you “care”, that’s fine, but don’t hang …

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2

grawr

July 22nd, 2015by darkwillow

I’m sick of people.. And no one likes me. I’m tired of always trying to fit in. People come and go, does anyone really actually stay? And if they do stay, it’s only little interaction, just little thoughts like “i haven’t talked to this person in a while, I guess I’ll see how they’re doing.” And so you talk for maybe 4 messages back and forth and then they leave again. And you sit there optimistically like “oh okay, talk later then”… That hardest part is accepting that, they’re much more apart of your life than you are to theirs.

Imma go pound on my keyboard now. Have …

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1

i cant even desribe what im feeling

July 21st, 2015by jetlignite

its like i feel like screaming and crying and destroying everything but at the same time i just want to curl up and die silently and i want everyone to see me and care but i want to be alone and have no one even know i exist. its confusing and scary and i cant tell ANYONE my dad couldnt care less about anything to do with me and my friends dont need the added stress

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0

Empaths. a Blessing or a Curse. a Gift or a Burden.

July 21st, 2015by Nova

I consider myself to be an Empath. You might be one too.  It’s been extremely difficult to live and function in a society where people don’t really have empathy so it’s hard for them to really feel what somebody else is going through. And that’s why so many people are ruthless and cutthroat, you know. Being and Empath is like having a finely tuned ‘Bullshit’ Lie-Detector.  It’s really strange to have the ability to really feel what other people are feeling because I don’t know how to handle and cope with it. Now, staying away from strangers is easy enough; I just don’t go outside …

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4

I don’t know…

July 21st, 2015by jmc22

I wasn’t like this at first. I was so happy. I had strong religious faith. I was a good kid overall, so much that being depressed was out of the question. I guess the world is evil. The world changed my more mature self. I became more aware of problems. More family problems, friend issues, doubts in my faith, everything that was enough to tip my world over.  My parents hate each other, but they stay together because of me. My friends don’t really care about personal things, and if they do they aren’t very supportive. I’m not the smartest person. I’m not pretty. I …

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3

The Night Holds My Demons

July 20th, 2015by -M-

Night is basically my very own poison of the mind time. It is where all my demons like to hide and plan all the ways they are going to attack me. It is the time when my mind likes to remind me that I am worthless, pointless, useless, hopeless, and unwanted. It is also the time I make all my suicide plans.

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6

Angry

July 20th, 2015by ..

I’m fucking sick of this world. I don’t want to be here anymore. Why can’t I just leave? Some say suicide is selfish but isn’t forcing someone to live in pain just so you won’t feel sad more selfish? I can’t live like this for another 40+ years, it isn’t worth it. There’s nothing I want to do with my life, just waiting to die at this point.

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1

my best friend/ex-girlfriend’s death

July 20th, 2015by Dorothy Gale

She had come home from Chicago the night before. She, our roommate and I were drinking and watching Archer. I passed out. I came to with a raw cough in my throat like nothing I’d ever experienced. Turns out I threw up in my sleep and Roommate had to roll me over. He pointed to the soiled pillowcase in the laundry basket.

I heard my girlfriend whimpering low. I was the one in her life who knew her for the shortest amount of time, and yet I was the only one who could discern the barely-perceptible difference between her regular whimpers and the ones that indicated …

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12

Floating in between

July 20th, 2015by anotherfailure

I am a 16 year old girl (will be 17 in 2 days), and well, what can i say, i am depressed and have suicidal tendencies.

Though i probably have everything, perfect scores, bunch of friends, money, and complete family, i feel this emptiness inside me. Every single day i know and i feel that something is eating away my hope inside me. I dont have the spark in my eyes anymore. I’d cry my eyes out until i fall asleep, i overthink it kills me, and i am highly emotional. I get angry and sad in a matter of seconds.

Perfect scores doesnt mean im happy. …

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9

Withering Away From The Inside

July 20th, 2015by Supposed.to.be.happy

I lay here all night and morning till the sun comes up. The light hurts my eyes now I’m so used to being alone in the dark and enjoying the quiet that I hate so much. It’s not that I like being alone it’s all I’m used to. How do you go about changing that? Make friends, get into a relationship, go outside and live a little? I can’t anymore, I’ve lost my connection with the rest of society it’s just me, my bed, and my thoughts.  I don’t even want it to go away anymore I just want it to be quiet forever. I …

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9

But I Can’t

July 19th, 2015by -M-

“I am hungry but I can’t eat.

I am tired but I can’t sleep.

I am depressed but I can’t cry.

I am suicidal but I can’t die.”

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0

So fucking lost

July 19th, 2015by Deadinside59

I don’t know what the fuck is wrong with me i dont know why i do certain shit i do or say certain things but it’s fucking killing me how every person I’ve ever gotten close to has hurt me or i them today i don’t even know what i said that hurt her like this but next thing i know she’s fucking yelling that she never wants to hear from me again i don’t know what the fuck i do every fucking time i get close to someone every time someone gets hurt it’s not even a relationship thing i mean every time i …

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