Rants

18

This Is Not an Exit

July 23rd, 2014by Nullify

I’d like to start this off by saying hello to all you fellow less than content members of the human race (or Realists as I like to refer to us). I’m new to both this site and the general concept of sharing my darkest, innermost thoughts. So, you know, bear with me if it takes a little while for me to fully open up (or at least until I’ve gotten a few more beers in me). I’ve always been more of the silent, keep my thoughts to myself type. I suppose I’ve been of the mindset that as long as my issues aren’t vocalized, they …

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9

everyone has a tragic story don’t they?

July 23rd, 2014by gem723

Just like everyone else i guess i have a heartbreaking terrible life story that everyone should feel bad for me for.  There’s always someone who will have it worse, who will have it better, who will be poorer, who will be richer, who will be worse off, who will be prettier, uglier, smarter, dumber, funnier, the list that goes on and on. were all different but one of the few things we all have in common are that we want to be heard, to be noticed, and to be loved. thats why most of us are on here. so here it goes:

as far as things …

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1

Undetermined.

July 23rd, 2014by Tatiana

My name is krysta, but you can call me tatiana. I’m 15 and I have severe depression and anxiety. I don’t really know how to put everything in the order that it happened so I guess I can just tell you bits of my story and they’ll fall together and make sense in the end.

I think my depression started in the 5th grade. I was living with my biological dad. And addict. To this day I am not sure what drugs he does. The ones I know for certain are pot and pain killers and possible meth. He was never in my life much. …

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5

no one is exempt.

July 22nd, 2014by emwhy

I turn twenty in September. I stand at 5’4”, 123 lbs, and am generally a healthy eater. I played the piano for seven years when I was younger and received copious amounts of praise for my talent. I enrolled in various activities, from fencing to tae kwon doe to art classes. I graduated high school with a 3.96 GPA and seven Advanced Placement courses under my belt. After all that, I was accepted into a prestigious university and ready to blossom into a confident, intelligent, self-sufficient and successful young woman, to break out of my shell, to take on the world.

I haven’t blossomed. In fact, I’ve completely

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1

I just want

July 22nd, 2014by gonna die

I want to end this

i want to suicide so bad

but apparently i cant

i just cant

Just because of

Christianity

They say you’ll go to hell

Thats just so stupid

why cant we end our life

its ours

The police puts u into a

mental hospital if they catch u

trying to attempt suicide

well maybe o shouldnt be afraid

this might be the last thing i write

so

im not scared anymore

so bye

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2

Life goes on

July 21st, 2014by PaleHorse

This is going to be my first post in a while but ill try to keep things concise.

Im a guy aged 20 studying in university at the moment. Im writing this because last time I was here a few years back somebody told me that age old cliche things get better with time.. But im still waiting and the last few weeks have just gotten harder and harder.
I keep wanting to talk to someone but being from a not particularly close family ive sort of grown up never discussing feelings and problems, and when I try it feels too much like counselling again and just …

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2

alone

July 19th, 2014by desiree

i feel so alone.everything i do feels wrong the only thing that helps is to sleep and drink.to be honest i just want to sleep,drink,and have sex.i should be dead i deserve to be dead but only the good die young,i guess ill be loving forever.please help

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15

A piece of me in pieces

July 18th, 2014by copelessness

Here is a part of what had made me into the “intense” person I am today. I’m not quite sure exactly what that means but someone I reached out to recently described me that way when she said she wasn’t interested in being friends with me and so I use it now in a degrading way toward myself since it just reaffirms my belief that there is nothing in me but organs better used in other people.
Here goes…
Everyday I have a headache. Whether it be from lack of sleep or more recently lack of food (I’ve been depriving myself of all but a …

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3

KSO’s Cockpit: directed by M. Night Shyamalan

July 17th, 2014by killswitchon

just like they have in fighter jets–situation and engagement is compromised and no longer safe to dogfight–EJECT! BOOM get shot 30 feet out of my body and mind softly parachuting back to sanity, stability and consistency being planet earth. back to a civilian life where there are no rules of engagement or hard deck, where my mind doesn’t dictate my mood, relationships ergo my life. I’m not talkin’ a Goose scenario but a Maverick turn of events where he follows his story arc–mourns the loss of his best friend(his mind) and flies back to the dangerzone with the girl of his dreams in the cockpit …

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40

Random Bar Advice #2

July 17th, 2014by RealTalk30

I stopped into a bar the other day for a pint of new castle, on my way home from work of course!
I sat down, not too many folks at the bar..a couple playing pool! Anyways..
I’m sitting there and this (kinda) young dude is sitting there talking it up with the tendie, sounding like he had had a few already. So I’m sitting there just sorta chiming in on conversations going on, sipping my ale… And then me and this young dude get to talking about death and old age.
We both made it plain in our opinions that living past a certain age …

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18

Trade My Oblivion For Your Abyss

July 16th, 2014by killswitchon

it’s days like today where I’m thrust into the valley of decision. where do I go from here? where can I go? am I just a lost boy in search of some sense of salvation or absolution or am I a broken man that can’t figure out right from his left or up from down. I’ve always taken pride in my ability to carry on despite the cost and despite the gargantuan overwhelming pain I’ve been in for the past 6 years–but days like today, reality hits hard. I’ve been fighting a mental malignant cancer for what’s felt like an eternity–it’s felt like forever! I …

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17

Liar Liar Pants on Fire!!!

July 15th, 2014by RealTalk30

“I love you with all of my heart and soul”
“We are always going to be together forever”
“You are my soul mate, my one and only, my true love”
“I never want to be without you, I can’t even imagine my life without you”
“I want to make you proud of me”
“I want to do what’s right”
“Please don’t leave me, I’m trying..really I am”
“You’ve always been my better half”
“Sometimes things are just meant to be”
“You always know what to say”
“I’m sorry I’m so closed off”
“You make me so happy, I don’t have words to explain”
“I need you in my life so bad”
“I can’t do this with out you”
“Please…don’t …

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5

My Story

July 14th, 2014by TheAngelWithBrokenWings

Okay so here it goes…

So, I’m Angel and I absolutely hate my life..
My entire life, my parents would get into huge fights and let’s just say a lot of cops knew my name and where I lived. My older sister would always scream at me and punch me and just constantly make my life miserable, and even today (she’s 18 and has a baby) she continues to do just that. In fact it has probably gotten worse.

Even though I am the youngest, I am ANYTHING but spoiled. I have to clean the house everyday while my sister goes shopping

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3

I need to leave

July 14th, 2014by Katey

I just need to leave. I just need to die…right now. I can’t take any more of this excruciating pain.

My life isn’t going to get better…. why can’t anyone understand? Why don’t they just leave me alone in peace? Why don’t they let me die? I can barely breathe… I can hardly walk. I want to die… I crave death… but I can’t die. I’m forbidden to.

What do I do?

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2

Pardon me….

July 14th, 2014by RealTalk30

Excuse me…I seem to have left my pain laying around here somewhere..have you seen it? It’s black and fowl and twisted and I just can’t seem to hang on to it anymore! lol call me butter fingers if you must but it keeps on slipping away!! :P lmao!! Anyways..if you see it, it’s labeled “loathing of a lost and forgotten soul”. It might be walking around aimlessly somewhere here, just thought I’d check again. Let me know if you find it’s sorry little bitter ass! lol
Thanks! ;)

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2

I Don’t Know What This Means

July 14th, 2014by 13vida

You know what? I’m not feeling suicidal, I don’t feel like cutting. I just feel empty. There’s just a huge empty hole that’s inside me and it’s leaving me very uncertain. My parents want me to think about life, especially since this is my senior year, but they don’t understand that I don’t see myself living after I turn 18. Let me explain: I don’t mean that I’m gonna commit suicide, or anything like that, it’s just I can’t see myself in the future after 18. I can’t imagine going to college, traveling the world, having kids, getting married. I know that normal people can …

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18

Ugh! Why bother.

July 13th, 2014by A_Shoe_In

Ever had someone laugh in your face for trusting them? I never trust myself or my own judgement because my head is so fucked. Someone convinced me to give them a chance and that I was being irrational which is normally the case. Well tonight they literally laughed because I trusted their intentions and settled for less. I feel so stupid and so used and I am just trying to survive when I would rather be dead. I have prayed for death for so long and tried to kill myself several times. Why do I set myself up for heartbreak. I am not important to …

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2

So on point

July 13th, 2014by killswitchon

He who makes a beast of himself, gets rid of the pain of being a man. — Samuel Johnson (English poet)

Never has a truer statement been uttered. To overcome we must transform into our own personal monsters much like bruce wayne did to overcome his fear of bats–he became one. We must become what we fear the most. We must become fear itself.

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4

Insomnia

July 13th, 2014by gunnervin

Slept for 9 hours last night but I wake up feeling less happier than yesterday. I don’t know how many times I woke up in the middle but should be plenty. I feel less happier, less motivated than yesterday. How I can be happy one day and suicidal the next I don’t understand.

Well insomnia is not the cause for my state but only a symptom. The actual reason I suspect is some kind of digestive illness. I’ve lost a bit of weight. I have had horrible reflux since 3 years. Celiac/Crohn’s/GERD I don’t know what it is but I’m tired of stressing over finding out …

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9

My sucky ass life story

July 13th, 2014by sw

Okay first post so I guess I just can vent here and that’s what I’m going to do. I’m now a senior in high school and this is pretty much going to say everything about me. I’ve never really had friends growing up and it’s hard for me to socialize. As a kid I was just loud and annoying, along with being weird fat and ugly. But I was a happy kid, even without real friends. Middle school is when it starting going downhill. I started going online more and more and discovered online chat rooms where of course there’s a billion pedophiles looking for …

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