Rants

18

Purgatory In Paradise

October 25th, 2014by charlieregal

Damn. It’s Hot. I hate this island. Nothing ever makes sense here. Everyone is smoking and drinking and killing cursing and…is happy. Why do buses filled with white people come here? Who in their right mind would want to come here? Avoid the groid! It’s so hot! Is this hell? Because everyone torments me with their jubilee while I am just devastated. I thought that If I preserved my memories they preserve me but they are just a mental horror movie. My childhood wasted. The real me Lost somewhere in between the beatings and loneliness and alienation. Why here!? Haha. Maybe I should run to …

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1

anger…

October 25th, 2014by kateralia

I had a surprising bout of anger, nearing a temper-tantrum, this morning. And what was it over? My missing hairbrush. Yeah thats low.

Its about the only thing I keep in the bathroom, it even has my name sharpied on it. I know it was there yesterday,when I didnt need it,  but it isnt there today when needed it.

Thats my life. Things are there when I don’t need them & gone when they’re needed. Mostly that’s because other people use my stuff, even though it has my name written all over it, & they dont care & they dont replace. Its not like I can replace …

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2

Caught

October 24th, 2014by marz

Just like I presumed life seriously did mess me right up again. Life just seems to be a gamble nowadays. Once again I got caught with my boyfriend….really is it that bad to have a boyfriend I mean I am 18 just leave me be. Ok I know it goes against my religious beliefs and all but I just don’t know what to do any more. On one side my parents are telling me to get married now, but we have nothing to live off and are still students ourselves…and on the other side I have his side who don’t mind me getting married to …

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9

From the other side of the desk…

October 23rd, 2014by Leaf

Help me.

I need to get this off my chest.

I think of suicide.

I’m not old but not young and I work as a suicide/crisis counselor. I deal each and every day with people who are hurting, alone and pain-ridden. People who need. And all of them want help. Want peace. Want someone to tell them they will be okay. That the day gets brighter. Just like me. I see as many as 18 separate people a day. I see snapshots of people’s worlds and realities. Of short comings, of emotional issues, of pain they’ve caused themselves or others have caused them. When you speak to someone …

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5

and days like this…

October 23rd, 2014by kateralia

And its days like this where I feel completely alone & unwanted. Theyre all upstairs laughing & cheering each other over a game on their ipads.

I just went up to go to the toilet & he looked up & his face told me to fuck off. Quite literally.

I had so many dreams & aspirations… I just wish my body hadnt betrayed me.

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5

Setting in…

October 22nd, 2014by Deathy058

I am not certain what to type here.

A few years ago these tendencies, these thoughts, would feel foreign to me.  To put it mildly, life was pretty good.  I had a significant other who wanted to marry me, I was a straight A college student, and I had a broad pick of graduate programs to further my degree.

Now?

Enter the cliche story; she left me for a friend, college ended into a dead end midnight job, and graduate school did not work out.  After diving in the deep end into jobs just to stay afloat for the past year, I am now left jobless(at 26), and I had …

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8

When considering suicide, make sure you don’t get sent to a psychiatric hospital.

October 22nd, 2014by NotAttentionSeeking

I attempted to commit suicide a few days ago. Unfortunately I got caught and was sent to hospital. I have to say staying in public psychiatric hospital has got to be the most degrading experience of my life. Here is my story of stay in a psychiatric ward:

On the 20th October 2014, I had the unfortunate experience of dealing with the nurses on morning duty at the Adult Acute Ward. Just before the morning meeting, I had noticed that I got my menstrual cycle because my pants had blood stains on the crotch area. I asked one of the nurses if I could take a …

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2

Here we go I guess

October 22nd, 2014by Ayahra

Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.

I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..

 

 

I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame …

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0

almost…

October 21st, 2014by kateralia

Its days like this I feel almost human, almost visible, almost a part of life. Days like this, although its too early & I’m on a crowded bus, I don’t want to die. I want to live & enjoy life. But I have to remind myself that this is only a fleeting glance. I am cursed, in pain, unlovable, poor & soon to be homeless. & that is not gonna change.

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4

so this is the end i guess

October 21st, 2014by ndt998

Been suffering from asebergers, PTSD, BPD, severe social anxiety and extreme guilt for ages….. my gulit, combined wiith asebergers just made it so i’m broken socially, which furthers the degree of my BPD and loneliness pretty much by the day. my BPD overlaps with asebergers and i just lose it over little things… and everybody thinks i’m insane. i can’t even go outside and walk around because i’m afraid of what people will think. even my own family thinks i’m crazy!!! my mom has locked me up so many times over the littlest shit… and the funny thing is that pretty much everybody agrees that …

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13

soon…

October 21st, 2014by kateralia

My original intention was to comment on someones post – suicide is not selfish. It is only viewed as selfish by those who are angry because you are nolonger there to be used & abused. That is how it will be for me.

In 1 week I will be homeless.  I really feel like I should give up right now. Everything has fallen apart, but replacements are falling into place. My ‘best friend’ whom I live with has replaced me with one of her friends & her 2 little kids. I have lost my sister to the clutches of my mother, so I am no longer …

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16

What is your difficulty setting?

October 20th, 2014by charlieregal

Lets play a game. I am going to comment my difficulty setting and I want you to tell me yours then think of two things that could make it worse.

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4

Couldn’t Sleep

October 20th, 2014by Zed86

Right. So it is 2:38 in the morning, and I couldn’t sleep. I’m up now, and made the mistake of thinking of old loves and old lives, otherwise known as old scars. Voila, here I am. Might as well tell my story. For the sake of being more direct (and not writing a 47 page essay) I will skip over less important times. If I crack too many inane jokes, it is not because I find it funny, but rather because jokes are easier for me to deal with than the feelings.

 

I was diagnosed at 11 with depression. Given anti-depression meds at 11. 11 years …

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2

Something thats been bothering me.

October 19th, 2014by BrokenAngel8

Well I guess this can be considered an update from me, Since there is a up and down part to it. Well this weekend I went on vacation with my boyfriend and his parents It was amazing though there’s something that’s been bugging me in the back of my mind though. Ok well today before we went back home me, my boyfriend and his mom decided to go zip lining it all seemed great until when it came time for me to get the rope connected well after that they have the person go on the scale and get there weight checked.

How the hell was …

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2

Only 12 more days

October 19th, 2014by greyrainbow

I am done. Tired. I’ve tried DBT. I’ve tried & i’m tired. I love Scott!! I can’t tell him that though. I dream about him & wish he was in my life, other than being my therapist who I can’t & cannot appease. So, I’ve decided that death will finally take me, as I’ve always felt it would. You see, I have no friends. I can’t & don’t keep them. This world sucks!!! All you see is hate & killing. People who think they are owed, who don’t shoot for the moon themselves. They just want everything handed to them. So, my Suicide is planned …

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8

Underneath the Underneath

October 19th, 2014by Vertrag

This is just a small rant from me about how people only see what they want to see. No one cares enough to look underneath because they don’t want to deal with it. I’m sure all of you have had experiences like this.

That girl who you think has a “cheerful face”?
She cries herself to sleep every night wishing that everything was over.

That girl that you say has it all?
She stares blankly into the darkness everyday wishing that she had not fucked up every chance in her life.

That girl that you see as the braniac who never has to study? The one you think will go …

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8

Off Topic again, oops

October 19th, 2014by Alex

I just looked around a bit more and I’m like “Holy shit, I just saw their suicide notes, I don’t know what to do, what if they go through with their plan? I didn’t speak up, I’m a little piece of shit.” So yeah. o-o I really hope none of you guys go through with your plans of ending life because ya know. *points to new route* There’s a whole new adventure waiting for you in a few years, months or even days.

Lul. I’m such a hypocrite. Telling people to keep holding on when I’m about to just end it all. >.> But hey. You …

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3

Welcome to my fawking rant.

October 19th, 2014by Alex

Ahem. *clears throat* Awkward. TnT Fuck. Anxiety. Let’s see. Lost 3 friends to suicide. 1 had recently attempted. Idk. I used to have a whole group of friends. Depression came by for a visit. Boom. Became distant and just closed myself up from everyone. Avoiding people all day at school unless I’m stuck with a partner. Realized no one gives a shit about me disappearing. Yep. *becomes air* Probably going to fail school because I’m skipping classes to avoid having anxiety attacks even though I still have them. Holy horseshit I’m probably sounding like some little shit right now. *face palms* How did I even …

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4

I’m an attention seeker

October 18th, 2014by frozen_heart

Everyone hates the attention seekers. The ones who always say things to get others attention and pity. The ones who tell someone every inch of his or her personal, tragical and dramatic life just to get a reaction. Attention seekers disgust everyone. People are sick of them.

One thing I hate most about myself, is that I kind of am an attention seeker. I do things to get others pity without even noticing it. It’s like there’s two sides of me; a side who does everything possible to get attention, pity and all the things I wrote about earlier, and a side, who doesn’t want to …

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