We broke up a a while ago. Why? He thinks it’s because I liked someone else. It’s not. But thats what my ex “best friend”, Sara, told him. fucking liar. He says she told him that she hates me. Oh well, she wasn’t a great friend anyways. But it hurts that he believes her. He was my best friend. He posted on here about this. But. the truth is, I broke up with him because I loved him, and I couldn’t deal with the distance, we were dating for months, yet saw each other TWICE. That and I was going to take him back until […]
Rants
Sometimes you try so hard to save yourself but really all you need is a pat on the back. When the time comes that I don’t even have that I really ask what I ever meant to so many people. The stereotype of what it is to be depressed is something that I try to steer away from all the time, but unfortunately I can’t escape it. I’m writing this because I need someone to see it even if no one ever said anything to me about it, even if it somehow didn’t get posted while I thought it did. I’m 18 years old and […]
I think it’s really nice how some people on this site just wish others good luck, for there suicide to be quick and peaceful rather than trying to convince them otherwise and probably just make them feel more pathetic. It’s also very cute reading through the comments and seeing that someone out there has made a difference to somebody and helped them through. It’s also great to see people finding others out there who feel exactly the same as they do and others offering there contact details so they can talk things through. 🙂
On another subject I wonder how young some people are when […]
When someone thinks about a suicidal person they think of a person who walks around sad and depressed all the time… This wasn’t me. I was the loud, confident one. The essentail “life of the party” type kid. I was a people magnet people liked to be around me… But if they knew the daily war i had with myself i wonder if things would be different… I’ve had suicide in the back of my head for a while but if you saw me in public you’d swear it was the furthest thing in my head. I found it easier to play the role of […]
Waking up with that Gut feeling of not wanting to live.. I know that feeling all to well. When I wake up in the morning I wonder what I will go through today…. You know it has been so long since I have actually smiled and meant it.. I am dealing with so much drama.. And it hurts.. I am just so confused on what to do right now.. D:< You have no idea why I wake up in the morning. I honestly have no idea why i wake up in the morning..
I want to sleep forever knowing that there will be nothing to […]
I haven’t heard from you in days. This has got to stop.
You need to stop leaving so abruptly, you could at least tell me what’s going on and if you’re okay.
I have BPD and it kills me when i can’t contact you. I’m not blaming BPD but i think it explains why i leave you a million messages. You should take that into consideration before yelling at me for being clingy.
I need to talk to you. Although you may be sick of me right now. Tell me. Don’t just ignore me.
At least then i would know you were just annoyed with me. Then i […]
I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m a 15 year old boy, a straight A student who just finished freshman year at a relatively good school. I am a decent track and cross country athlete, and my family loves me very much. Yet, I still constantly feel alone and useless.
I don’t quite understand people. I see people I know having fun, hanging out, and I don’t know, I can’t seem to find myself normal friends. There are plenty of people I talk to (about once a week each, about serious shit usually). I don’t know how “suicide attempt” is defined on this site, but […]
I remember when I was a little girl - watching Nickalodean, eating junk food and playing video games. Sad and alone because the kids at school bullied me, hated me, and my parents thought I was just being a drama queen when I told them.
Now, here I am. I just finished my Freshman year of high school.
The bullying’s stopped a lot. By no means am I popular, I’m shy and antisocial, but I have a few real friends now who back me up.
But now I smoke pot. I cut myself and am suicidal. I’m secretly bi-sexual and dating my best friend, who’s also suicidal. My dad hates […]
I have a recurring dream in the morning, just before I wake up. I dream getting my head severed from my neck right in my own bed. There is no blood, just my head cut away. Sometimes I can see it (in third person) dropping in a wicker basket just near my bed. I dream it almost every morning now.
I come from a pretty good family. My father is dead but it seems normal to me. I have a car, I’m in college, I will always have a place to stay and enough money to make it through school comfortably. I’ve cut myself before, it was when I was in Iraq. I wasn’t happy, it wasn’t the whole “war” bothering me, it was the people. I don’t like being a girl. I feel out of place. The Army doesn’t care. It was a hard year for me. I’m 24 and I’m staying with my mom until I finish college. She’s nice. Buys me what […]
I feel like I’m preparing to kill myself without even trying. My depression is getting worse and worse. I don’t take any meds except 5-htp, this natural supplement and who the fuck knows if it even works. I definitely feel hopeless. I’m alone. All my friends moved away and have lives and I’m just their facebook friend now. So, I deleted my facebook. I was active on blogtv and had friends there, so I deleted that. All I’ve kept is twitter and skype to talk to my online girlfriend but she’s getting fed up with my negativity and falling asleep while skyping. She’s 3 hours […]
Hi My name is Nikki… I am 15 years old and I have been cutting for a very long time.. I know what it is like to hurt and feel nothing but pain and misery. I have lost so many people to death and You know it is not fun.. I am not that skinny pretty girl at all. I lost a guy I was in love with to a person who felt the need to shoot and kill him. I felt the pain of loosing my best friend to a person who hit him with a car. I felt the pain to my grandmother […]
I’m the type of girl to put on an act to keep the world off my back. Even when I’m trying to push them away, I actually just want someone to stop me and tell me I don’t have to pretend anymore. I’m the girl who sits in her room crying, thinking back to the past and wondering how I ever made it this far.
Everyday I go to school and pretend to be that happy girl you’ll find in every class. Everyone buys my act and they think I’m happy, that nothings wrong, but they’re all wrong.
There will never be a time where I’ve never […]
I, for the first time in some time was actually happy. The stresses of life had finally been lifted enough for me to cope a little longer. I had a girlfriend, the love of my life, Jasmine. She’s my cousin, but now she broke it off today and I feel numb. My body and limbs felt weak, (similar to male orgasm where my legs feel weird, and now I’m numb. She said its weird that we’re related. But she still loves me.Â
I fell for her and I was planning on asking her to marry me in 2 years or so when she’s 18 or so. […]
Have you ever felt as though someone has tied your arms and legs and thrown you in a deep pool? You sink deeper and deeper relying on Hope to fish you out because Hope has a friend called Help and Help knows Healing. But Hope never comes and you continue to struggle as the water drags you deeper into its depths. The worst part is that Death never comes.. instead you are to sink and struggle.
Thats what life seems to feel like for me. 10 years ago at the tender age of 13 , I would never ever suspected or guessed I would feel I […]
I don’t care anymore.
I don’t care if there are people with bigger problems.
I don’t care about my job.
I don’t care if there will be happiness in my future that I will not see being dead.
I don’t care about others (even you).
I don’t care about trying to explain to a psychologist.
I don’t care about the things I used to enjoy.
I don’t care if a couple of people will cry for my loss.
I don’t care about myself.
I don’t care about anything.
I just want to shut down and be quiet.
insanity. Rage. Hatred. These are the words that best describe me
For I can be the best of friends or the worst of enemies
I vowed never to hurt another living soul outside of a fight
So that I might be able to contain the fury inside
So the ignorant people who wander on through their day
Dont wind up with my fist in their face because of something they say
So physical punishment isn’t my M.O.
There are other means of torture. Many more.
I can turn your friends against you
I can get inside your mind
I can take everything you’ve ever known and
Turn […]
I don’t know what to do anymore. I feel so sad and lonely all of the time and I’ve given up on ever feeling better. No one in my life even cares. I’m falling apart and all my wife cares about is herself and whatever she wants. I tried to talk to her about feeling depressed years ago, but she’s made it clear that she doesn’t care about me or my problems. I wanted her to encourage me to get help. To care. She didn’t. I think a past boyfriend of hers struggled with depression. Maybe he tapped her out. She doesn’t even notice what’s […]
I can hardly breathe… Chronic Depression, self-harm and social phobia have taken everything from me: my pride, my career, my friends, little by little, now my soon to be wife. I’ve been this low before, twice, but each time I had help. Now there is nobody, at all… I haven’t spoken to anyone in two months… My wonderful girlfriend decided that she couldn’t deal with it anymore and left me at my parents’ house (I’m 39!!!). I don’t know anyone, all the plans I had made to try and get myself out of this phase were there (8hres away). I haven’t worked for 10 years, […]
I am just so exhausted… So utterly exhausted. It’s never going to change .. I don’t think I will ever change I think I’m just always gunna be fucked up. I’m just so tired , so tired of it. I’m so tired of always being tired but not getting to sleep at night like I desperately need all day, so tired of no motivation to do anything . I’m tired of always being sick from lung infections to strep throat, always on a new medication , it never seems to stop. I’m tired of being moody, and freaking out over the littlest things than right […]