The angel on your shoulder; opposite the devil. God’s voice speaking to you, beside the voice of satan. Your sadness and scars from the past; exposed and dried up You watch and feel as they are ripped open, time and time again   It hurts, that I know. It makes you sad to re-live it; [...]

I often wonder why I write these journals, as if anyone could care to delve into the thoughts of a suicidal mind, or someone so fascinated with death and spirit communication they meditate in a cemetery as a recreational hobby.                                                                                                                                                                                                      We’re all a little messed up. That’s what makes everyone unique.         [...]

As I am typing this, my life on paper sounds like the most ideal life anyone can hope to live. I did drop out of college and my job, but only for a few months as I’m planning to get a part time summer job and take classes again in the Fall (I’m lucky my [...]

I’m not back in any way good whatsoever.. I honestly thought I was okay. There was a good portion (several months) that I had no episodes, no sadness, no depression… I felt good. I was happy and I was what they would call “okay and normal” and in some ways actually “responsive”. Right now, I [...]

Im finally going to get myself noticed. People are finally going to see that I can be just as good (or maybe better) than my sisters. Even if it’s only a school talent show! I will MAKE my family see what I can do, I will MAKE them believe in my voice and my capabilities. [...]

I’m kind of feeling bitter and angry I never realized how badly bullying affected me forget bullying for a moment I remember how bad I felt and whenever I felt it was too much I’d try to go to someone to talk about how it made me feel but nobody seemed to take me seriously and [...]

I snapped. I confided in you my deepest secret. I trusted you. But, I was wrong to do so. You twisted my words. Made it sound worse than it really was. Then, you told everyone. Don’t you know? I still have feelings. I thought you were my friend. I thought you were the only one [...]

I used to self harm, not an awful lot but the marks remain on my wrists. I still get that feeling of wanting to make myself bleed just to get that rush of adrenaline. My father recently died of cancer, 8 months ago almost to this day in fact. We weren’t and still aren’t a [...]

One day I was sitting on the couch staring out the window at the rain. My mother approached me and looked into my eyes. “Something’s wrong.” She said softly I asked her how she knew so easily. “The eyes are the windows to the soul.” She replied I never forgot that day. Another day, hears [...]

My first post in a while. I don’t know what it is that keeps pulling me back here, but no matter how my life is going eventually I always end up back here. Maybe it is the safety of the internet, perhaps it is that I know you all understand what it means to be [...]