Stories of Hope

3

Confused and frustrated

April 30th, 2016by halfdead66

I have fully  recovered from my recent attempt, physically speaking. I had an epiphany during this experience, that my life does matter, that I matter; but that feeling of inner strength blew out so quickly and too easily. I’m left here feeling hopeless and empty again, and that’s why I’m frustrated. I’m either feeling numb, sad, mildly euphoric, or feeling too energetic and irritable (mixed episode). Currently, I’m not suicidal, but I do feel self-destructive at least once a day, if not more often, and when those feelings and emotions become irritating or overwhelming, I turn to alcohol, again. All though, I’m feeling slightly proud …

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4

Drunkards quest to for happiness: The contract

April 29th, 2016by mato42

I may be drunk right now, but I’m genuinely feeling happy right now. Today I signed a contract. It’s just a part time job, it’s just for 5 months, but still. The pay is even higher that I could have hoped for to the point of it being ridiculous since I expected an unpaid internship, let alone what they offered me. The heck, I’m getting almost the double of what my colleagues from the university are getting. I looked at the contract and acted like: “cool, cool,” and proceeded forward signing all the other NDA documents and so on, agreeing on some further benefits on …

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5

Checkmate

April 27th, 2016by InhalingAnxiety

(Maybe this is an official “I’m back” post? We’ll see if my mind can keep on track. Good luck following my thoughts.)

I thought I was set for life because I had it planned out until retirement. Graduate high school, go to college and get my degree in accounting, get a job and earn promotions for the next 40 years of my life, retire and move to someplace beautiful and expensive, then wait to die. And I thought no more about it other than just a basic, simple, normal life. That was when I was in 9th grade when I made that plan. I have gone through my life up to (almost) age 21 so far based on 14 year old me’s life plans and just never changed/adjusted them.

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16

morning from the UK!

April 27th, 2016by brighteyes77

I didnt wake up feeling so down about the fact theres another day ahead of me, in fact the first thing I did when I woke up was think of you lot and see what new things you’ve posted! I know im only new and haven’t interacted with many of you but I want to let you all know the impact you’ve all had on me, to see we’re not alone and how kind hearted we all are to go out of our way to support one another. No one makes us listen or read what we have to say, we do it because we’re …

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4

I think..

April 26th, 2016by brighteyes77

This is only my second post on here, my first post I wrote exactly how I feel and while doing this just desperately wishing I’d be blessed with a child and start a family with my boyfriend. But after one persons comment, I realised im not the only person whos feeling the way I am, upset about the things im upset about and feel helpless. Ive spoken to friends an they all have their own problems too, but what kept me down about myself is im the only person I knew of with my sort of issues and feelings. I hated it, but knowing someone …

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4

Finally, somewhere I dont feel judged

April 26th, 2016by brighteyes77

It feels nice to write my feelings on a social media page where everyone gets me. I talk to my boyfriend all the time about my depression and bless him he’s bent over backwards to try make me happy, and as much as love him and appreciate the effort he’s going to I physically can’t change how I think or feel 🙁 its gotten to the point where he feels like he’s useless because I havent improved at all, but he’s not! And when he feels useless sometimes he gets mad and thats only been recently, I cant blame him after 2 years of having …

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2

Words Cannot Describe :’)

April 25th, 2016by GerbzBaby

Words cannot describe how much appreciation I feel for the feedback on my last post. It almost left me in a pool of tears. A very big thank you to those who left those comments! I really doubted myself a lot with my artistic skills almost to the point were I stopped. Drawing is all the talent I have left and I almost lost it because I mope around wondering if I’ll get anywhere in my life. Seeing your comments inspired me to peruse my talent, to get me up off my lazy a**. You have my thanks and gratitude. I wish I could have

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0

1 Email

April 25th, 2016by InTheShadow

Dear all,

I got the first email which someone had asked for help. Someone cannot take Depression anymore and wished to erase herself from existence. Due to privacy, I will not disclose the name. I wasn’t sure of what happened but I have replied the email, hoping to hear from the person soon. I am neither a psychologist nor a psychiatrist; I do not have the expertise in medication or knowledge of how to deal with Negativeness and by that, Depression or any of the problems that many are facing. I can only be a reader and/or a listener of your problems and challenges faced, be it created …

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1

Catch Up ?

April 25th, 2016by PrincessX_xPoptart

Well hey lovely people of suicide Project. I haven’t been here in awhile if you have noticed if any of you know who I am.

So awhile back I made a post about I Dye my hair. Its my self distraction from self harm. People seemed to like that so I think I’m going to make a journal hopefully everyday or maybe a cpl days or once a week in not sure yet. But I’m here for all of you. I wont judge because everyone needs a friend and you shouldn’t feel alone. So if I make a journal for you guys it’ll be self distractions …

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154

I tried to show you a way out

April 24th, 2016by Salt

There has been a tangible regime change at suicideproject. Maybe it’s for the better, but it’s no longer for people like me. About a week ago, I found the way out of hell. For my old friends here (I’m talking 3-4 years ago when I first crash landed on this site under another name… before re-registering as Salt because I didn’t want to upset a beautiful person in my life who didn’t need to know how much I was suffering), I left my final post which I had put a lot of effort into wording with just enough cryptic references to literature, Latin, and scriptures …

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0

My only reason

April 23rd, 2016by kamidaka

I don’t really know how the idea came to my mind, but I’ll do it.

As many of you know, my life is a living hell, and yeah, a lot of people wonder how am I still alive.

There’s something in this world that I love with all my soul, with all my heart. No matter what happens to me, that little thing puts a smile on my face. It brightens my day.

And now, I’ll try to make something for that thing. The thing that keeps me alive.

I’ll have to give up on the idea of trying to leave again, because I’ll need

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0

Emotional And Financial Leeches

April 18th, 2016by HakunaMatata

Malicious neighbour who always try to put us down and got away with their petty revenge in the past threaten to sue my family over our car Back Up Alarm. They mock and taunt us that my family can get a heavy fine, arrested, and owe them compensation money in return. The worst case scenario is that we live in between them and their in-law family down the street who kids are just as bad. They are like ping pong balls bouncing back and forth leaving the mess behind on our driveway.

Basically, they have been openly overconfident and obnoxious ever since they snapped …

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2

Update

April 16th, 2016by YoungGods

So really everything in my life is going well. I do a lot of volunteer opportunities, prom dress fitting went well too, been hanging out with friends. But the past few weeks this thought keeps crossing my mind, “I’m absolutely disgusting”. Like I’ve said before I hate my body. I am no skinny person. I was scrolling through YouTube and saw this one video about obese people etc and I watched it. So basically, I am morbidly obese and yes I know don’t trust online things and other factors do include but in the end I’m not fit and healthy. I am apart of a …

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2

Hello to the World.

April 12th, 2016by InTheShadow

Hello all, please forgive me if my English is weird. It is not my first language.

Anyways here goes nothing and I am new here:

I have been wandering on Internet and seeking suitable suicide-related or depression-related websites. I stumbled across this website and had thought about signing up. So I did and started out by reading how others deal with their side of Depression and stories. We live in different places so maybe there are some alternative ways of coping stress-related or anything negative. I have been suffering from depression for more than a decade now and at times, self-harm for pain relief. I have been …

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1

Tired Of Being Tired

April 10th, 2016by HakunaMatata

From Canada, living beside toxic neighbours has drained me emotionally and I feel tired of keeping up with their negativity. Over the past few months, I’ve been dealing with anxiety to depression, losing sleep because of them due to littering, vandalism and etc. I want to catch them in the act but now they pretend to be all innocent on the outside.

I’m tired of feeling the need to protect my family and watch over my home from these malicious type of people who intend to do harm/damage/provoke us with their remarks. They simply don’t flick off easily even after putting up a “NO TRESPASSING” and “NO …

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2

AN OPEN LETTER FOR EVERYONE

April 8th, 2016by missanonymous

I know some of you might be into deep holes right now and some were at the point of their life when all they want to do is to break down and cry, or even die. Yes, I do understand because even I myself can’t do this anymore.. but I’m still trying as long as I can. That’s why I am here not to tell you that ‘everything is gonna be fine’,’get up and it will get better soon’ or ‘put yourself together don’t be weak’ because even I can’t believe that it’s all gonna be alright. I’m not going to tell you the words …

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3

Wolf In Sheep’s Clothing

April 7th, 2016by HakunaMatata

 

I’ve suffer from anxiety and depression for months after my relative just keep telling me “not to worry and let karma do the rest” about my neighbour from hell next door. Things didn’t get better but escalate for the worst. He never listened to me to be about being careful about those people trying to harm us/seek revenge and it is always better to stay safe than to be sorry. I tried very hard to stay positive and always strive to protect my home from these sort of jerks that try to provoke us with their words, kids playing on our driveway, and petty revenge

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2

Friend long gone. Other thoughts.

April 4th, 2016by Seneca

I live in a south-american country with lots of social problems. One of those, connected in a way to all, is poverty. I was born in a fairly wealthy family, not rich, but in a country were some some didn’t make enough to eat, certainly more than enough. My family didn’t live always as well as they did by the time I was born, and still lived in the same “low-class” neighborhood. In this neighborhood, lived a much poorer family, and my grandmother were friends with them. I was about 7 when I was introduced to the other old lady’s grandson, a kid older than …

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6

You are Never Alone

April 4th, 2016by AKB92388

Hi everyone,

I wanted to share my story.  My niece Anne took her life on March 30, 2015.   She attempted the first time on February 10, 2013.   I have no answers and we are at a loss.   She left behind 3 beautiful young daughters.  They are very strong girls but they miss their mom more than anything.   She was the happiest person, but also the saddest.  They always want to help others feel like they are loved.   They made a suicide awareness video called “you are never alone”.   They wanted to let others know you are loved way more than you could ever imagine.   If you …

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1

Healing

April 4th, 2016by jrmeador94

My depression was triggered 2 years ago by trauma.

Trauma can be anything to different people.

Mine was having sex with a random stranger. And for the first time.

My DBT therapist once said it takes a traumatized brain 18 months to heal.

In 2 years I have gone back to the trauma of hooking up for a total of 147 times.

I have idealized suicide many times. This included staring at an intersection of speeding cars, and a slab of marble 5 stories below me.

I have begged for the pain to stop for 2 years…

And I am starting to heal.

If you are hurting, traumatized, desperate …

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