Stories of Hope


Trying to find some light.

August 29th, 2016by CapitalM

My therapist told me that that I’m tired of fighting because my life doesn’t seem to change. My efforts are useless.


Hi. You can call me M.

I just joined hoping to find some light in this dark, dark place my head is going through.

I just stopped reading about suicide methods. Even though I’m tempted, I believe that if I’m here, it means that I have a tiny desire to live…


Life hit me hard for the first time six year ago, when I was diagnosed with Ulcerative Colitis. This brought pain, to me, like no other.

It randomly decides to wake up and f**k up my life. When …

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first cut since.. fuck i can’t even remember

August 29th, 2016by death bunny


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Great news!

August 29th, 2016by kamidaka

Remember I said I had a contest I wanted to participate in? Well, it took place last weekend and… I won 2nd place!! First place was given to the principal of my language school (lol, he always wins first place no matter how terrible he sings, I think it is for political reasons…). But everybody knows first place is always for the principal, so they congratulated me because they believe I’m the real winner!! I received a lot of prices and compliments from a lot of people (except my parents, they looked kind of digusted with my happiness, but I couldn’t care less at that …

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August 23rd, 2016by youwouldntrealise

So over the past month i found myself get worse and worse & decided to post on here for help and attention. I got over 10 emails from fellow users of this site and i couldnt be happier.

I am overwhelmed with how many people took the time to give a shit about me. Unfortunately it felt very repetitive having to explain myself multiple times and honestly just took the life out of me. Sorry to everyone i didnt reply back to. Im very very appreciative of the effort you all went through.

If you are reading this and feel alone or out of your depths …

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Just Being Me!

August 23rd, 2016by StacyT_T

So I am the middle child of 3 children …..

Some people would love that but I don’t. It’s absolutely hell!! My parents would always compare me to my older sister or younger brother.

You see my older sister (24) is now a nurse and is married to Matthew . A doctor who is “the perfect guy” as my parents say …… They would always compare me to her by saying “Oh you know when your sister was your age she used to do this… And do that…”

They never give me a break …

Oh and let’s not forget my little brother. It doesn’t make it …

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Scared to Live, Not to Die

August 19th, 2016by FlaminJoy

Ever since I was a little girl, living was an issue. I’ve wanted to die since I was 8 yrs old. My mother was/is evil and doesn’t have feelings like most people do. Common traits of a Sociopath; she would have a lot of sex with a lot of people just so she could feel something… Or at least I tell myself that’s the reason why. She married my dad while she was still married and had 2 sons with someone else. My dad didn’t know, but her first husband soon found out and divorced her. My dad in turn raised my two older brothers …

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One Very Important Thought (Update, I’m Alive and I Decided to Start Using my Shift Key)

August 17th, 2016by youwillneverknowme

In January, I never would have imagined myself where I am today. I acknowledge my ASD but I will not use it as an excuse to avoid new things. Subsequent to setting aside my self doubt, I slowly became more social at work; I no longer dread social situations, and I am now friends with the people I was afraid to talk to in the past.

While I am aware of the things I cannot do, such as read social cues, I am also aware of the many things I can still do. I can express myself through music, art, and literature in ways that …

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Why can’t I get her back?

August 15th, 2016by

I am questioning my worth because I caused my only person I care about so much pain that she will never have me again… I understand that but would wish that she would just see my pain and change her mind and let me back in. I know it never will happen but still I have hope because I can’t take another year without her… I am dead inside and out, it’s just going to take a while until I don’t care if I break my last promise to her.

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There is nothing more for me, need the end to set me free. Trapped in myself, body my holding cell.

August 10th, 2016by .fadetoblack.

I met you in my junior year of high school. its been almost 7 years since then, and exactly one month now since I last saw you. From the moment we met I knew there was something special in you, it didn’t take me more than a week to confess my love to you. From the very start I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, you were just different than everyone else. Even after you moved away for school, I was always there when you needed me. I was in a dark place when you moved …

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Meaningless life

August 10th, 2016by Waffenss

I have been feeling down lately. Probably because I have been feeling like I’ve lived a meaningless life. I feel that I am not doing enough to help my fellow human being. I have chosen my work in order to help people but I feel that I am not doing enough to help my fellow human being. I would like to go on the frontline, in the trenches. I feel like my work would be more meaningful there. Maybe I’m just ranting, and I’m sorry if this bothers anyone, but I feel that this is the only place where I can say it and be …

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Today comes the verdict

July 29th, 2016by kamidaka

Today is the day, guys. Today I will take all the tests. I’ve studied a lot, and I hope I can answer at least a decent amount of questions. I’m so nervous, my whole future depends on the results I’ll be able to get. And I’m scared because if I fail, that will be the end.

Wish me luck! You’re all wonderful people! <3

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If you’re as confused as I am…

July 27th, 2016by alaskalevine

If you’re as confused as I am, you don’t know why you’re here. You don’t know what you believe in or where you’re going in life or what’s in your future. You’re confused as to why you don’t want to be here.

If you’re as lost as I am, you don’t know where to turn. You don’t know who to talk to, who will listen, or who can help you. You’re lost in a darkness that bleeds through everything else.

If you’re as depressed as I am, you feel hopeless. You know that no matter what anyone else says, you can’t be happy, you don’t quite know how to …

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You are loved

July 25th, 2016by honoringtrent

This is my first post, though I’ve perused many over the past few months. I have found a lot of comfort here, but have also felt so much despair seeing so much pain put into words.

You see, I was shocked and blindsided by the loss of my husband, the father of my children, my life partner for 11 years, my best friend, to suicide on June 13, 2015.

I plan to post more at a later time, but felt incredibly compelled to post this now…. You are loved.

I don’t know you and you don’t know me, but I hope you read this (yes, I’m talking to …

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July 22nd, 2016by kamidaka

They sent me the e-mail!! They said I am enabled to take the exams!!! It seems that they didn’t pay attention to my screwed-up application form.

I’m so happy, there’s still hope for me to go!! To be finally free!!

Tests will be next Friday, I believe I’ll do it great in languages, but I’m still scared of math. And I believe there’s no much I can do.

And I’m also scared of hope. What if I came until here only to fail at the exams? What if I stay here? Will I die this year, even though my reason

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Life after Hell is possible

July 18th, 2016by pinkcoconut

Hi all.
Just remembered about this place in a melancholy moment.
I’m doing ok. Was very suicidal for a few hellish months a year and a half ago.
I’m not suicidal now. I think about self harm occasionally, but I manage it – I don’t act on it – I do something else, like arrange to see a friend. That used to sound stupid or unthinkably difficult, but I’ve done lots of training of myself to get to a place where I’ve got habits.
My life is not perfect and I did have a shitty start in some ways, but in others, my world is amazing and I’m incredibly …

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Feeling depressed and not worth living? Then you have been lied to… (Part 1)

July 16th, 2016by beyourself

Let me first tell you a bit of my story and how I found this website – I was searching for methods to commit suicide. Why? I do not feel suicidal at all and I do not want to die at all. However, I may not have any other option. The reason for this is that there are some criminal people treating to do horrible things to me and my family, presumably because I was the cause for their significant financial losses (we are talking millions “supposedly”). While I can accept being killed I do not want my family to be affected. Therefore, my only …

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I want to to tell people my story, hopefully it helps someone find hope

July 14th, 2016by JamalK02

So, I used to be a lowkey, small time drug dealer in the biggest city on the east coast. I’ve lived in the hood all my life and who I am is simply a product of my environment. One of my first drug deals was to some tall white kid who wanted a dub of weed. I could tell he didn’t do this often, he used as much slang as he could and even tried to sound “black”. The problem was that this kid wanted to meet at a train station and i didn’t have my metrocard. I hopped the turnstile to get to him. …

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11 years later

July 13th, 2016by rwt

I came across this site a few days ago looking for samples of suicide notes, and I thought it was very interesting. I wish something like this existed when I was younger.

I thought that my story could maybe help someone. Maybe it won’t, but the worst outcome for me is I’ve lost a few minutes of my time.

I wouldn’t say I was special in any way. I had a pretty decent middle class up bringing. I didn’t have to suffer the way that many of the people whose stories I have read so far have.

Despite the advantages of living in a two-parent home in middle …

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Tomorrow’s not last year

July 7th, 2016by catsnap24

Tomorrow something big is going to happen. i haven’t slept in 24 hours and i don’t want to go to sleep. I want to be taken away. i don’t want a repeat of last year. wish me luck, no promises.

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It finally arrived

July 4th, 2016by kamidaka

I feel so alive, so happy, so grateful for the existence of that thing. I’m crying of joy, of happiness, my heart feels full again. Earlier, I was doubting that this would make me feel anything, but IT DID and I’m so happy.

Everything was worth it, my mind put all the pain and reality aside to just enjoy what I had waited for so long. It was everything I had expected and more, because I was surrounded by beautiful people. I can’t stop crying.

It was beautiful, so so beautiful. And the best part is that it is real. It is real!

I can get used to …

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