Stories of Hope

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Feel Like Dreaming While Awake. Awake While Asleep.

I re-read this comment I made while replying to The Last Snorlax on another post, and suddenly realized how much sense it made. And just like that, Sala Samobójców (aka. Suicide Room, 2011) came to mind, not sure why. Can you help me reason this? I mean the lyrics and theme don’t really match my […]

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Do You Ever Go to Bed, Sleep For Hours, and Wake Up as If You’d Only Blinked?

It’s strange sometimes. How you can go to bed with a thought, a feeling, a sensation of sorts, and then you fall asleep for a few hours, 9 hours, or more… Yet as soon as you open your eyes it instantly is all there. The same thought, feeling, sensation, as if you only blinked while […]

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Hello! New-ish here… Do You Ever Wonder?

Actually, I’ve been a lurker for the longest time. On and off. Never posted before though. I don’t think I’ve ever been actually the text book definition of suicidal, but I wonder about death (and life) a lot. The last time I had been on here was about 2 years ago. So today when I […]

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Last Hope Vanished – I was Born, Shaped, and MOLDED by the DARK!!!

December 1st, 2016by silverComplex

I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is …

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i wish harry potter was real , i wish fantastic beasts were real , i wish magic was real , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

November 23rd, 2016by niki

i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !

reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !

Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is better than reality …

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Outside

November 19th, 2016by K.y.l.e

I seem like I’m bulletproof, and no amount of lead from their mouths will ever hurt me. But what’s on the outside isn’t what matters to me, my insides take their words, and accepts them, because I am them.

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Luna

November 14th, 2016by EyeOfHorus

The moon is the closest to Earth than it’s been in 69 years and we’re further away than we’ve ever been. I would have liked to of held your hand and watched the sunset and moon-rise together like we used to. I keep trying to talk to new people, but I feel out of place. I feel like my heart still belongs to you even if you have turned me away already. I know you aren’t thinking of me anymore, but I hope you find happiness. I’m trying.. at least for tonight I can lie with Luna.

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I am alive because of you

November 13th, 2016by silent survivor

Hello, it has been 2 years since the last time I’ve been on here. Things have changed. I often find myself wondering if the same people who were here when i first started are still alive or if their lives have gotten better. I hope so. I hope that they’re enjoying life as much as they can like i am.

I want to be honest, the first time i came across this place i was  around 13-14 years old and googling suicide methods. Instead of finding ways to end my life this place helped me find ways to cope and keep on living. I am 18 years …

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Finally

November 10th, 2016by kamidaka

I have all the money!!! Oh boy, I’m so excited but at the same time scared!!

What do I do? Is this the right thing to do?

No, I don’t have time to think about it, I’ll finally have my uniform.

But I’m still scared. What if it doesn’t arrive? What if it doesn’t fit me? What if I’m not worthy enough?

I can’t stop to think, I need to act!!

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So close

November 7th, 2016by kamidaka

I’m so close to have all the money I need to buy the uniform. I’m starting to feel weird, like happy but also kind of sad. Bittersweet feelings, because once I have it, I’ll die.

Just a week, just a week away.

I’m so excited.

Nobody notices what’s happening, and I’m so glad.

I’ll finally be who I wanted to be. I’ll finally be who I’ve always dreamed of being. I’ll finally be free!

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I’m weak, and I’m finally admitting it

November 3rd, 2016by orange-juice

I’m 17. I can hear too many things going on in my head but at the same time I feel blank. I love life but I hate life. Everything is so confusing and I feel a lump in my throat when I try to explain what I really want, so I thought I’d type it.

I don’t want the life that everyone is told to follow. Working behind a desk, getting large sums of money for rotting away in a grey, dull workplace and consistently working for a force that marginalises freedom. I want freedom. I just wish I could run through endless green fields that …

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I don’t know what to live for anymore

November 2nd, 2016by Kingdaka

As I am typing this, I am on the verge of ending my life. I have never ever been this depressed since my grandfather died. I don’t know why I did it. I know that I should’ve not done it. Because of this, everything was taken from me. The fame, the sports, the hobbies, the clothing, etc. I don’t know why I even exist anymore. There is my dad who calls me names that I feel like he doesn’t love me anymore. He said so much bad things to me that I couldn’t even stand up to myself. My mom was in shock of why …

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I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !

October 29th, 2016by niki

I hate reality ! reality is boring !

Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !

Why Human’s Imagination is much better than reality ??
movies , games …

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Around if you need it

October 28th, 2016by Haven

I normally wouldn’t make a post like this, but…

If any of you need someone to speak to, I’ll be around, if you’re comfortable. It’d be nice to get to know some people on here. I’ve been on this website for years now, never got to know any of you properly… Being in the same boat, I can definitely empathise. Drop a message below if you’d like details.

I’m not feeling too great right now either, which is why I’m here – but I’d be more than willing to listen. Let’s share.

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Bran

October 27th, 2016by poetontheedge

My friend had to talk me out of suicide last night. This is the 4th time this month. I love him so much and I don’t want to hurt him. He have saved me so many times and if I left that would be wasted time for him. He lives in Arizona and I’m from Illinois and I really want to meet him, I need to.

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I met a girl

October 25th, 2016by kamidaka

She’s so beautiful and nice!! She even talked to me and also helped me when I asked for directions.

She’s so nice, she even recognized me from my classes (not uni classes, other classes)

She promised me she will be back next semester

I look forward to seeing her, maybe I can be her friend

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Message to kissy_93

October 10th, 2016by RuinsOfTheVoid

I have seen you pop up in the community in the last few days and I just want to say you are not alone. Everyone on this site knows what its like to hurt. You are not alone.

You keep asking for a reason to live, but life is not that simple. There are things in my life that I love and cherish and things I give no value to. I love my GF and my laptop, I don’t love my clothes, if I lose them I can just get more clothes. I cannot replace my GF. So she gives my life meaning, I fight everyday …

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The Light Side of Darkness

October 4th, 2016by lostsouloflight

I discovered this site today, while distracting my pain away.

So much suffering I see- so many souls yearning to be free.

But in the responses of support and love, there is beauty that goes far above.

Raw passion so seldom seen, in those content to live their lives by default alone with fake friends, entertained by a screen.

Perhaps our darkest sides show us who we really are. Desperate for love, meaning, and peace, we try so damned hard.

I know none of you by name, personality or career. But I’m sure I share much of your pain, suffering and fears.

I do not think we are losers, scum or leeches; …

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Anyone Else On Or Ever Took Effexor?

September 29th, 2016by GerbzBaby

Recently my therapist proscribed me Effexer for my depression and anxiety but it seems like it made it a bit worse? I’ve been feeling extremely nauseous after taking the pill, my heart rate picks up for no reason (I’m wondering if it’s just me having some sort of anxiety attack or it’s the pill?), I’ve felt weak and I’m trembling randomly. Anyone else have those symptoms while on this medication??? I just started it two days ago so maybe my body’s adjusting?

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Happy Birthday Tristeza!

Happy Birthday Tristeza!

September 26th, 2016by SeeSmith

I was lucky, getting to know Tristeza. Lucky that she was having a meltdown on the day I joined. Lucky I felt impulsive enough to create a happy birthday post for her.

The Tristezilla was lucky to get to know me. Lucky that I didn’t shuffle off to buffalo at my appointed time. Lucky I would write to her; in complete sentences I might add. (Look into it, kids. There is huge difference between, “Let’s eat, Grandpa,” and, “Let’s eat Grandpa.”)

I love newbies. They look around, do thier first post, and are awestuck by the empathy. The truth is they are only seeing the tip of …