I’m kind of feeling bitter and angry I never realized how badly bullying affected me forget bullying for a moment I remember how bad I felt and whenever I felt it was too much I’d try to go to someone to talk about how it made me feel but nobody seemed to take me seriously and stopped talking but the thing is I guess I started to treat myself badly and I began wishing everything about me was different and whenever I hurt emotionally it kind of brought me satisfaction in someway because I felt like someone would eventually care but it never happened so I […]
Stories of Hope
I snapped.
I confided in you my deepest secret.
I trusted you.
But, I was wrong to do so.
You twisted my words.
Made it sound worse than it really was.
Then, you told everyone.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I thought you were my friend.
I thought you were the only one who cared about me.
But, I was wrong.
You didn’t care.
Others did, but I turned my back, and now they don’t.
It was all you.
You spread the rumors.
You talked behind my back.
Don’t you know?
I still have feelings.
I showed you my scars.
I showed you what I […]
I used to self harm, not an awful lot but the marks remain on my wrists. I still get that feeling of wanting to make myself bleed just to get that rush of adrenaline. My father recently died of cancer, 8 months ago almost to this day in fact. We weren’t and still aren’t a rich family, and we’ve had money problems and we’ve had that worry of their being a letter on the doormat when we come home telling us we were being evicted, but luckily it has not come to that. My auntie died two years ago, and my grandma 5 years ago. […]
One day I was sitting on the couch staring out the window at the rain.
My mother approached me and looked into my eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” She said softly
I asked her how she knew so easily.
“The eyes are the windows to the soul.” She replied
I never forgot that day.
Another day, hears later, I met you.y
You seemed happy. Every day you woke up and put on your smile.
That’s all anyone looked for, but not me.
I looked further.
I approached you and looked into your eyes.
“Something’s wrong.” I said.
You asked me how I knew and I gave you […]
My first post in a while.
I don’t know what it is that keeps pulling me back here, but no matter how my life is going eventually I always end up back here. Maybe it is the safety of the internet, perhaps it is that I know you all understand what it means to be depressed. I feel like I have made some of my greatest friends on here because they actually get me. I don’t have to pretend with you guys. Its nice, I guess I just miss that.
I work in an office now, software development, its fine, im good at it, but I have […]
When I was 8 year old, I thought I was living a perfect life. I had both parents living with me. I had a older brother and older sister who took good care of me. I thought everything was going alright… I now know what a lie I was living.
My Dad was a alcoholic. My siblings tried their hardest to hide this fact from me. It worked and I didn’t know much about my Dad. I only knew that he comes home from work at night to sleep which was a lie. He was unemployed. He came home every night to take my brothers money. […]
Traits and Characteristics of the Indigo Child
-Highly sensitive, impulsive and intuitive
-High sense of truth and integrity
-Sensitive to toxins (food, water, cleaning supplies, relationships)
-Link to ADD/ADHD
-Strong willed
-Born in 1978 or later
-Head strong
-Creative with an artistic flair for music, jewelry making, poetry, writing, art, etc.
-Prone to addictions
-An old soul, as if they are 15 going on 43
-Intuitive or psychic possible with the history of seeing angels or deceased people
-Isolationist either through aggressive acting out or through fragile introversion
-Independent and proud, even if constantly asking you for money
-Possess a deep desire […]
Reading posts from this sites, I browsed on some websites, trying to figure out what causes feeling to suicide.. One of them is Social Anxiety. Maybe you have no one to talk to, maybe you’re just too shy and confused and nervous and tensed every time there are peoples around you, maybe you spent years of your every single weekends – surfing on the internet, because you have no one to hang out with. The feeling of loneliness is killing you.. You feel different, you feel like no one understands you. You’re depressed, you feel insecure, you feel like you got no purpose in your […]
Once upon a time she was filled with hopes and dreams and ambitions and warmth and vulnerability and unashamed honesty. She cared and she tried and she tried her best to love everyone, always hoping that maybe one day the other children would see something in her that they didn’t dislike. She was an outsider and that made her sad, but she never allowed herself to change, she stayed loyal to friends who, she later discovered and had secretly known all along, were the reason for her low social status. She knew and understood playground politics, but could never bring herself to worship the […]
Hi, People..
I figured there are so many people with suicidal feelings here.. I want to help. I am no expert. But I knew a friend who was so depressed after a bad break up, and was actually able to rebuild her life back. She learned how to fight the sadness, the stress, the anxiety, and replace it with hope, happiness, passion to get her life back.
She was depressed and crying all the time. Me, as her best-friend, was really concerned about her that I stayed at her place for a couple nights, fearing that she might commit suicide. I couldn’t stay there forever though – […]
I just want to take a big UGH crap on everyone before I start!
It’s finals week and it makes me think… What the fuck am I doing? Everyone around me my age seems to have a grip on reality but I’m floating in a different dimension or something. I don’t even exist.
Lately I’ve been thinking about how I look to everyone that sees me. Am I as socially awkward as I feel like I am? Is what I see in the mirror the same thing others see when they look at me? Do I hide my suicidal side well from my family? Do […]
Hi,
My username is an anagram so if any of you care to do a little word play, you can figure out my real name, but thats not why I am here. I am here to tell you, the reader, a story. A story about me and why I want to die, yet cannot achieve presently.
I was born January 25, 1987. My mother was a drunk at the time and my father was smoking crank. I am the result of a one night stand. An accident turned paternal, if you will. My very first thought, I remember, was when I was still an infant, unable to […]
Last week I had a nightmare about killing myself. Seemed like strangle was the best option. I saw in my dream how I put a tie-wrap on my neck and how I tighted it. When I woke up, it felt like my neck was pinched. I couldn’t breathe well and swallow was also difficult. I haven’t told anyone about my dream. The whole week I was thinking about committing suicide and I really had the urge to do it. Also I had the urge to strangle myself. Last week I had several times that I had that urge and that I wrapped my hands around […]
I just wanted to share with you guys why even though I think life is pointless I still chose to live on
Why live? Is I’m going to die anyway, if there is nothing after this, if my life has only been eating disorders, social anxiety, depression, ADD… Why live if I have already given up on ever having a romantic relationship, let alone a family, because only thinking about it exhaust me… Why live if I don’t want to achieve anything?
After all, for a nihilist life is pointless, why all these people keep procreating and suffering? Why not just give up on existence?
What’s the point […]
“Ooooh…”
So i was sitting outside a while ago, enjoying a smoke at dawn, during a rather precipitous rain storm…
A faded flash behind the veil, an echoed crack of thunder in the distance…
Crossed paths with some memories, thought about where i’d left some things…
There’s a certain person who is always close inside, no matter how far removed from my physical life, who i just can’t help but think of, when it rains.
Or when it’s just cloudy.
Or when it’s sunny.
Or when it’s just a normal windy day.
I recalled a recurring theme i used to employ, as part of my previously favorable attitude and outlook that this person […]
**Disclaimer: don’t do drugs mmkay. It is not my responsibility if you do, be safe, be careful, be responsible. Don’t do stupid shit.**
Guys I have been there. I want to show you what it is like but I can’t, I can only describe it. It was so intense, some might have been afraid in my situation, I thought even the bad parts made it better.
I took presumingly 140 microgrammes of LSD (well that is what the guy who sold it to me said). I took it at home by myself to explore my mind (not recommended, especially if it is your first experience with psychedelics. […]
May 8, 2013
Today is the day that the (I guess you can call it “my”) story is written.
Now i’m 19 years old. My body a nest for scars and memories that should have been long forgotten. Not all scars have stayed with me, and i hope that one day i’ll be free from them all. The sad reality of it is that some of those scars will never leave my skin, and always be a reminder of what i have done. It’s been mere days shy of 6 months without cutting myself for the relief that i have so desperately wanted during this time. The […]
I wanted to share an amazing quote from a incredible Comedian/Genius.
The World is like a ride in an amusement park, and when you choose to go on it you think it’s real, because that’s how powerful our minds are. And the ride goes up and down and round and round, and it has thrills and chills and is very brightly colored, and it’s very loud. And it’s fun, for a while.
Some people have been on the ride for a long time, and they’ve begun to question, ‘Is this real, or is this just a ride?’, and other people have remembered, and they’ve come back to […]
i don’t even know why i’m on here. it’s not like people want to know about me anyways, but ohkay. i’m cat and i turn 15 in november. i’ve been suffering with OCD, depression, anxiety and body dysmorphic disorder (BDD). the body dysmorphic disorder is the worst because i got homeschooled because of it. i would sit there and stare at myself for hours and cry when i should be getting ready. i would punch myself in the face or wrists and pull my hair or skin. i started out just being constantly late to school, but now i’m so afraid of people seeing me […]
Im going to start from the beginning.
I never met my dad and I know little about my mothers life.
My mother got addicted to hard drugs in her early teen years and never fixed her life. She had a hard life, she got sexually abused by her dad and had also gotten raped a few times. She had me in her early twenties and when I was born I had Herion and cocaine in my blood. From the time I was born to when I was 7 years old, she had gotten in trouble with the police and also had near death experiences involving […]