Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.


why didn’t the poison hemlock work?

October 31st, 2014by dancininnovember

On October 26th, last Thursday, I ate a handful of poison hemlock seeds I had researched thoroughly. I was so ready. I had prepared all summer. Ready for peace, or nothingness, or heaven, or hell, or my next life, or a reset. I want to die, and I’ve wanted to die for a very very long time. My chest and gut physicaly hurt when I think of having to push on for 60 or so years living only for my friends and family. ..the seeds are from a camping trip. I know hemlock. The leaves, the flowers, the colors, the smell, and yes, the taste. …

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Déjà Vu


Hell is cruel…

Hell is cruel…

October 29th, 2014by deathisbliss

I posted before saying that life is the human concept of hell.

The truth of it as I see it is that life if one long self-imposed trial.

Self-delusion might avoid the trial but it does not stop it.  Most Eastern philosophies suggest we must GROW to escape the pain.

If any religion is close to the truth as I VIEW IT, it would be Buddhism.

We are tried, we are tested, and we must not trust or ignore…most religion places the responsibility else where, it tells us to trust in “God”, to pray, and to be happy with the outcome…no different than an imaginary friend or a fantasy. …


final steps

October 29th, 2014by ghost walking

maybe my last letter written to him…

i registered for some blog open blog of suicide notes etc..

i once wanted to leave my story. but now..

 you have taken the last shred  of me.. with your coldness, dismissal. and lack of compassion..
i am but a hand full of dust waiting to be blown, and scattered, erased  in the winds … of  a life  vanished meaningless and alone


Hey :3

October 28th, 2014by Blake SinBad

Well well…seems like every time I take a trip down memory lane to this site, there’s oodles of new people and none of my old friends left…I wonder if they ever visit? Anyway, hey guys. Name’s Blake SinBad and I thought I’d let you know that I’m always open to talk or vent to if you need a hand or someone to listen to you. Totally free from judgement of any sort. I promise.

kik: xXFrejaShinePawsXx
Tumblr: just click on my link and use my ask box

Sometimes I find that strangers are the best form of medicine…

I promise I’m not a creepy 40 year …


From the other side of the desk…

October 23rd, 2014by Leaf

Help me.

I need to get this off my chest.

I think of suicide.

I’m not old but not young and I work as a suicide/crisis counselor. I deal each and every day with people who are hurting, alone and pain-ridden. People who need. And all of them want help. Want peace. Want someone to tell them they will be okay. That the day gets brighter. Just like me. I see as many as 18 separate people a day. I see snapshots of people’s worlds and realities. Of short comings, of emotional issues, of pain they’ve caused themselves or others have caused them. When you speak to someone …


This is my Story.

October 23rd, 2014by Sylvaniax

I’ll be honest, I only found this website because of a research paper I’m doing of a local community issue for my university English 111 class. I picked ‘suicide prevention’ as my topic because that was the one I know the most about. I might just be an average joe but I feel like I can relate to some on here. Though it feels like my situation was nothing compared to you guys.


I was born in Bellevue, Nebraska on the Air Force Base with a “disability.” I wouldn’t really call it one but it doesn’t enable me to do certain things. I was born with …


Here we go I guess

October 22nd, 2014by Ayahra

Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.

I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..



I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame …


The Broken Chain

October 21st, 2014by Maddie

” We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. ”


What is your difficulty setting?

October 20th, 2014by charlieregal

Lets play a game. I am going to comment my difficulty setting and I want you to tell me yours then think of two things that could make it worse.


The Day I Tried

October 18th, 2014by That_One_Idiot

I read through some of the stories and decided I could post my own story.
Hi. I’m 13 and I have tried. You may be thinking ‘What does a 13 year old know about suicide?’


If you’re still reading thank you. It all started when I was 7. I was an ordinary kid. Only thing was that my parents were barely in my life. I clung to my grandfather. My grandfather did everything my parents neglected to do. When I was 7 he died of a blood clot in his leg that ultimately returned to his heart. I was devastated. He was my best friend. He was …


I’m just a fucked up girl

October 17th, 2014by Maddie

I’m just a fucked up girl living in a fucked up life in a fucked up world. Welcome to where being me is- *Never Enough*-
Just because her eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t cry. And just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong.
You don’t understand me and never will. So don’t start that shit ‘bout knowin’ how I feel.
My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams. I’m hoping things will look up, and right when they do, there’s always something to fuck it up, and we’re back at square one.
Do you know what its like to be me? …


My tragic story…

October 16th, 2014by Maddie

Hello my name is Maddie and I’m 13. I bet some of you are probably thinking ” what would a 13 year old know about being depressed ” well i know alot. It started when i was 5. When i was 5 my mom died in a car accident. I don’t really remember her and it sucks :(. When i was 8 my dad put me up for adoption so i would have a better life. Since i was 8 i’ve been getting bullied because i’m either too fat or too ugly or too short. People just have so much fun judging me. So from …


My Story

October 15th, 2014by youdontknowher

Okay, I’ve read some stories on here and they made me feel like I could share mine. When I was in seventh grade I was a really happy person. I was like everyone else. I laughed, I played around a lot. I was always happy. Then towards the end of the year this girl (I’ll call her P) started to harass me. She constantly talked bad about me and said terrible things. She would write posts about me on Facebook and say I didn’t deserve to be alive. I don’t know why she hated me so much. Her and her group of friends would constantly


Conflicted (Opinions Much Appreciated)

October 13th, 2014by crossingboundaries

This is my second post. My first is a life story of sorts. But the basics you need to know before you read the rest of this are: 1. I’ve struggled with severe mental illness for over half my life, and I’m young. I’ve made five very serious suicide attempts and have been psychiatrically institutionalized 11 times. So, I’m a very experienced mental patient. 2. As ironic as it is, I work in an acute care mental health facility. Most of our patients are either suicidal or have just been medically cleared and sent to us after attempting suicide. So I guess you


Dear Counselor

October 13th, 2014by KissOfDeath

I watch you listen to me,
but do you really hear me?

You use that sweet tone of voice, I’m sure that everyone gets,
I want to trust you, but your eyes are full of judgment and pity.

I am seeking help, but I am sure this is going to doom me.
I have nothing to say, I am choking on my tears.

I am so desperately looking for the solution to fix this problem.


Life update

October 13th, 2014by faith099

Last time I posted on here I was 16 now I’m 19. I still struggle with depression and anxiety I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I have been to a psych ward and everything. I have overcome my self harm. And now I have a wonderful fiance. I guess I just had to wait for things to come to me. No I’m not 100% okay but I’m not on the same state of mind I used to be. I still have the scars from my 16 year old self to remind myself what it was like before. It is better …


Suicide: Not So Glamerous.

October 13th, 2014by crossingboundaries

Suicide is a central aspect of my entire existence. It’s not just about my own life, though I’ve tried to end it many times. It’s also about the lives of others. Ironically, I work in a psychiatric facility, and just when I think I’ve seen everything, someone else comes along with a near-death experience that leaves me feeling 1. Sad for them, and 2. Cowardly for not trying as hard as they did to kill myself.

My first attempt was at age 11. I had just been accused of a terrible act that tore my family apart, and I was left traumatized and alone. So I …



October 8th, 2014by curlylion720

I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.

I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone …