Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

1

This is my Story.

October 23rd, 2014by Sylvaniax

I’ll be honest, I only found this website because of a research paper I’m doing of a local community issue for my university English 111 class. I picked ‘suicide prevention’ as my topic because that was the one I know the most about. I might just be an average joe but I feel like I can relate to some on here. Though it feels like my situation was nothing compared to you guys.

 

I was born in Bellevue, Nebraska on the Air Force Base with a “disability.” I wouldn’t really call it one but it doesn’t enable me to do certain things. I was born with …

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2

Here we go I guess

October 22nd, 2014by Ayahra

Hi. I’ve never done anything like this before. I never really like talking to people about my suicidal tendencies, mostly because the people I need to share this with and want help from, are the people that don’t want to hear anything about this.

I don’t see a max on the amount of characters permitted, so I guess I’m going to tell you my whole story..

 

 

I was born on the 15th of April, 1994, in Milan, Italy–I am 100% Italian, with both parents being Italian. Apparently, according to my mother, I wasn’t planned.. you see, the thing with my mother is that she likes to blame …

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0

The Broken Chain

October 21st, 2014by Maddie

” We little knew the day that
God was going to call your name.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we do the same.

It broke our hearts to lose you
But you didn’t go alone.
For part of us went with you
The day God called you home.

You left us peaceful memories.
Your love is still our guide,
And though we cannot see you
You are always at our side.

Our family chain is broken
and nothing seems the same,
but as God calls us one by one
the chain will link again. ”

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16

What is your difficulty setting?

October 20th, 2014by charlieregal

Lets play a game. I am going to comment my difficulty setting and I want you to tell me yours then think of two things that could make it worse.

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5

The Day I Tried

October 18th, 2014by That_One_Idiot

I read through some of the stories and decided I could post my own story.
Hi. I’m 13 and I have tried. You may be thinking ‘What does a 13 year old know about suicide?’

Well.

If you’re still reading thank you. It all started when I was 7. I was an ordinary kid. Only thing was that my parents were barely in my life. I clung to my grandfather. My grandfather did everything my parents neglected to do. When I was 7 he died of a blood clot in his leg that ultimately returned to his heart. I was devastated. He was my best friend. He was …

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8

I’m just a fucked up girl

October 17th, 2014by Maddie

I’m just a fucked up girl living in a fucked up life in a fucked up world. Welcome to where being me is- *Never Enough*-
Just because her eyes don’t tear doesn’t mean her heart doesn’t cry. And just because she comes off strong doesn’t mean there’s nothing wrong.
You don’t understand me and never will. So don’t start that shit ‘bout knowin’ how I feel.
My life is full of empty promises and broken dreams. I’m hoping things will look up, and right when they do, there’s always something to fuck it up, and we’re back at square one.
Do you know what its like to be me? …

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9

My tragic story…

October 16th, 2014by Maddie

Hello my name is Maddie and I’m 13. I bet some of you are probably thinking ” what would a 13 year old know about being depressed ” well i know alot. It started when i was 5. When i was 5 my mom died in a car accident. I don’t really remember her and it sucks :(. When i was 8 my dad put me up for adoption so i would have a better life. Since i was 8 i’ve been getting bullied because i’m either too fat or too ugly or too short. People just have so much fun judging me. So from …

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2

My Story

October 15th, 2014by youdontknowher

Okay, I’ve read some stories on here and they made me feel like I could share mine. When I was in seventh grade I was a really happy person. I was like everyone else. I laughed, I played around a lot. I was always happy. Then towards the end of the year this girl (I’ll call her P) started to harass me. She constantly talked bad about me and said terrible things. She would write posts about me on Facebook and say I didn’t deserve to be alive. I don’t know why she hated me so much. Her and her group of friends would constantly

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1

Conflicted (Opinions Much Appreciated)

October 13th, 2014by crossingboundaries

This is my second post. My first is a life story of sorts. But the basics you need to know before you read the rest of this are: 1. I’ve struggled with severe mental illness for over half my life, and I’m young. I’ve made five very serious suicide attempts and have been psychiatrically institutionalized 11 times. So, I’m a very experienced mental patient. 2. As ironic as it is, I work in an acute care mental health facility. Most of our patients are either suicidal or have just been medically cleared and sent to us after attempting suicide. So I guess you

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1

Dear Counselor

October 13th, 2014by KissOfDeath

I watch you listen to me,
but do you really hear me?

You use that sweet tone of voice, I’m sure that everyone gets,
I want to trust you, but your eyes are full of judgment and pity.

I am seeking help, but I am sure this is going to doom me.
I have nothing to say, I am choking on my tears.

I am so desperately looking for the solution to fix this problem.

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1

Life update

October 13th, 2014by faith099

Last time I posted on here I was 16 now I’m 19. I still struggle with depression and anxiety I have been diagnosed with major depressive disorder and panic disorder. I have been to a psych ward and everything. I have overcome my self harm. And now I have a wonderful fiance. I guess I just had to wait for things to come to me. No I’m not 100% okay but I’m not on the same state of mind I used to be. I still have the scars from my 16 year old self to remind myself what it was like before. It is better …

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3

Suicide: Not So Glamerous.

October 13th, 2014by crossingboundaries

Suicide is a central aspect of my entire existence. It’s not just about my own life, though I’ve tried to end it many times. It’s also about the lives of others. Ironically, I work in a psychiatric facility, and just when I think I’ve seen everything, someone else comes along with a near-death experience that leaves me feeling 1. Sad for them, and 2. Cowardly for not trying as hard as they did to kill myself.

My first attempt was at age 11. I had just been accused of a terrible act that tore my family apart, and I was left traumatized and alone. So I …

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9

Pills

October 8th, 2014by curlylion720

I am a 14 year old teenager, depressed and suicidal. I know this may sound stupid but does anyone know any pills that will make me pass out if I overdose? I am not exactly trying to kill myself, just a way of revealing my pain to my parent without having to actually talk to them, but let’s just say I wouldn’t care if I died overdosing.

I know I will receive lots of “don’t do this” “you don’t deserve life” and “you’re worth it” but I don’t believe any of that. I hate my life and myself so much, I don’t think anything or anyone …

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6

Hiding scars

October 8th, 2014by curlylion720

I have been cutting for about three months now. I cut my wrists, legs and stomach. I have been very good at hiding them, at least I thinks so, but now I have a problem. I’m sick therefore not going to school and left alone at home for the day. My mom’s friend is a doctor and my mom asked her to come over and check upon me, find out why I’m sick and how to recover. I’m so scared that the doctor is going to make me undress, because I’ve been to doctors loads of times before I started self harming and many times …

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38

Suicide Fail

October 6th, 2014by flipnflap

So I posted before on another account that I would attempt the dehydration suicide method. I said I would check in a hotel on my forth day of drinking and eating nothing. I did but it was on the 6th day. I took some things with me in a backpack like clothes my toothbrush mouthwash moisturizer  and my note in a sealed envelope. I was feeling very weak already I had to raise my voice a little because I couldn’t hear myself and no one could, I was just confused the whole time. The people who saw me I guess they thought I’ve always been …

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2

Guilt

October 4th, 2014by Vertrag

Although I just created this account, I’ve surfed through this website countless times and it amazes me how strong many of you are, facing your fears and continuing to strive for the best.

For me, I feel guilty…guilty because even though I have led a pretty charmed life, I still hate it and think about ending it all.

I feel guilty that I wish even on the days where things are not unbearable and there seems to be some light at the end of the tunnel, I still wish I had not woken up from my previous attempt.

I feel really guilty that I am still seeing my …

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2

Break-up letter to my mother

October 1st, 2014by Engie

I’ve been trying to write a break-up letter to my mother for at least a week now. The week before, I waited to make sure I was making the right choice and was not acting uncharacteristically emotional.

I want to write this letter, but I just can’t be bothered. It seems like too much effort. Maybe I need to write down the main points and then flesh it out. Don’t really know why I’m doing it though. I mean, if I’m never going to speak to her or any of her siblings again, do I really care what she thinks? Maybe I’m doing it so she …

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8

Painless suicide

September 27th, 2014by B

I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and …

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2

Raw emotion

September 26th, 2014by StayingAnonymous

It’s been such a long time. Just by being back here I feel all the hidden pain come rushing to the surface. It’s fimilar, almost comforting.

I’m ashamed to be here. Understanding my depression, and facing it head on, was my greatest downfall in life. Yet somehow, I tamed the beast. I lived two years of happiness. Oh god, it was purely amazing. Looking back, it was remarkable, something I’d never thought possible. I cannot say that I’m angry it’s over, there’s no self pity here. I am grateful for the time I was given. I always knew in the back of my mind, that my …

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2

It Needs To Stop

September 23rd, 2014by hooded_girl

1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug to some, addictive and sweet.
To feel something, …

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