Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

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4

Getting things in order, before I leave again…

April 1st, 2015by jreyes

It was February 20, 2014. Everything was all setup, rope (was seemingly) tight. The chair. The knots were okay. Put the noose over my head… tightened it. Kicking that chair was the hardest thing that I had to do. The feeling was so liberating, I was finally going to be free… one less person for the world to think of. I remember struggling at first, trying to pull myself up, trying to breathe but can’t. It’s not a bright light like they say… it was all just pitch black and quiet. I was at peace in that darkness, I wanted to stay there forever. I …

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7

Maybe the Atheists are right…

April 1st, 2015by deathisbliss

I have spent my whole life trying to be good….trying to somehow please an invisible God that other people tell me exists.

I have prayed, I have sacrificed, I have gotten on my knees and begged.

I have even channeled the divine for believers when I knew I was just me and making it up.  How hard is it to admit….yeah sorry….that was me…

I imagine hundreds of people face the same thing….maybe some of them fool themselves into believing there is an active divine in this world.

Part of me wants to just give up on ALL religion, faith, spirituality….it is just one long list of power hungry …

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3

King Josiah Overruled; King Killr Reigns

April 1st, 2015by killswitchon

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2

Cycle

March 29th, 2015by RainbowsnPuppies

I have this cycle. I am okay. Or at least I have myself almost convinced I am okay. And then I am less okay. And less okay. Until I am in this pit where nothing but my darkness exists. And I’ve been trying to cut out the darkness. Hoping precisely made incisions will help with all this pain. Maybe if I slit open the right spot it won’t hurt this much. But it does. I always fall back into this hole. And I don’t want to do it anymore.

The other day I wrapped up all my loose ends and went to sleep praying to a …

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1

I don’t want to go back

March 26th, 2015by Streamers

Not back to the hospital.

I’ll cover my arms.

I don’t have anything else.

It stings, this was my first time with a blade.

It didn’t hurt, does that make me broken?

I don’t have any therapy until Monday.

I didn’t do my homework.

I’m a failure.

But I don’t want to go back.

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5

How I Didn’t Commit Suicide in a Theater

March 24th, 2015by Riolkin

I stood on the railing in complete darkness. The glow tape on the stage below gave me an idea of the distance I would be falling. It wouldn’t be enough on it’s own, I’d have to dive head first in order to finish the job. The warmth of the upper level of the theater was comforting in what I thought were my final moments. My balance shifted, causing the thin cuts above my knee to reopen, my blood mixing with the nervous sweat I was covered in.

From this vantage point I could see all parts of the stage. I often came to this very spot …

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5

To Those Who May Have Lost Hope

March 19th, 2015by katie_bear12

I am going to tell my life story up to today. There is a point to this, so just bear through all of this. I promise, it may be worth reading. I’ve been familiar with sad things for my whole life. When I was five, my mom kicked my dad out because he was an alcoholic and a drug user; he also treated her very badly. I remember seeing him occasionally after that. I didn’t realize what my dad was into until I was much older, where I grew up watching him drink and abuse his girlfriend. In 2nd grade, a man moved in with …

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2

Life

March 19th, 2015by miss_sadness391

To think I used to be such a innocent little girl..when I was in primary school my auntie died and I was really close with her and I completely broke me. I used to get bullied all the time gettin called daddy long legs cuz I was really tall and skinny that lasted the whole of primary school.. When I got into high school everything changed, yeah I found a friendship group quick but I chose the wrong one I got off in the wrong group I used to go out late all the time take drugs and drink a lot get told off by …

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4

Want to sleep

March 15th, 2015by impossible_girl

I look at the shoebox I keep my various prescription pill bottles in, and I wish to gods I could be certain that I wouldn’t just wake up in a day, in three days, in a week in the local ICU and another useless stay in the mental health unit and another 90-day court settlement. Attempting suicide is a civil offense in Wisconsin, you see, so a person already upset because they survived then gets to go — via satellite television — before a judge and work out an agreement for treatment. Nice, huh?

I barely talked my psychiatrist out of having me hospitalized …

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0

Where I come from.

March 11th, 2015by maybeoneday1213123

I was born in Surrey, British Columbia on an early spring morning. My mother, being accompanied by only her parents was resting from the harsh birth just hours prior. My mother was married just weeks prior to her admittance into the hospital and with some surprise, my father entered the room with another woman. He wasn’t one to stay with the same woman for long before he’d discard the relationship to move on. The first two years were hell, I was abandoned in my crib for elongated hours with nothing more than a sippy cup of apple juice. My biological parents were incapable of

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