Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

3

What is Depression?

February 12th, 2016by zacsai5

Hey guys. I’m new to this place but I thought I might share something I wrote a couple weeks back. I read someone’s post online saying he was going to commit suicide that day, and I felt this rush of empathetic love toward him. It led me to write a passage about depression.

A very short background about me: I’m a junior in college. Five years ago, I went through a two-year-long period of depression. I attempted suicide in the summer going into my sophomore year of high school. Since then, life has gotten increasingly better each year and I’m eternally grateful that I didn’t succeed …

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12

I Need Help, Advice? Someone to Talk to? (Teen Pregnancy, Suicidal Thoughts and Bad Childhood)

February 10th, 2016by SmilingfacesxSadfeelings

So I’m going to start off by saying hello and I will be cursing in this. I’m 19, I’m not going to say my name but you can call me LC. I have a three year old son. Yes, if you do the math right, I was 16 when I had him. He’s truly a blessing in my life and happens to have autism. If anyone here knows someone that has a child or does have a child or sibling with autism then you can understand how hard it is. I’m writing because I know I need help. I really want it, too. But I’ll …

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6

My Story (mothers suicide, mental disorders & much more)

February 8th, 2016by Magik

I’ve lived anything but a normal life & I just turned 20. My parents were both abused. My dad was physically beaten by his father. My mother was raped many times during her childhood by her step dad. My parents hooked up (drunk) at a party & 9 months later I was born. I am a bastard. My parents got married when I was 3. My mom was addicted to crack until I was in kindergarten. My dad physically & emotionally abused her until she left him (moved out) when I was in 7th grade. My mom stayed with him that long because she wanted …

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20

failure to die, need advice

January 30th, 2016by slimebag

(edit: please please please give advice. i dont know anymore)

(edit2: this problem has mostly been resolved, but any and all advice would be helpful up until this monday <3)

hey guys. i need your help, please. well, i guess a lot of people need help. whatever.

 

i’ll just start by telling the whole story. this all happened this morning and last night.

 

i was on twitter, and i was done with life. i was dm-ing with my friend, we’ll call her. . . sam. sam is a neurotypical. she is straight and cis. she has a loving family and a nice life.

basically, i was telling her that my …

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0

its now or never

January 28th, 2016by wasted_l

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7

Trying to end it with N – A Social Anxiety story

January 26th, 2016by Slipknot83

I have Social Phobia ( aka social anxiety), I always been the shyiest guy  in school, college,diferent jobs. Missed classes in college cause of it, quit jobs cause of conflit due to bad comunication with others. Been to many job interviews and failed because of being so nervous, that since 2010 I tought I have to quit life, didn’t know when or how, but had to.

So I just tried to meet new places and walk a lot, while also searching for ways of dying. All of them seem painful so I ended up thinking maybe I could just buy some syringes with a large width …

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12

My faith

January 25th, 2016by teresa45

I tried to kill myself last Tuesday.  I don’t remember anything except waking up in the hospital.  This was my third attempt.  How do I keep surviving?  I pray so much that my prayers are me actually begging God to help me.  Still no answers.  Am I here to be punished?  People speak of a hell after we die.  Does it really exist or is this really hell and there is nothing after this.  I want to believe so bad there is something good after this hell i’m in on this earth.

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2

tempt…

January 22nd, 2016by nonexistingsoul

Yesterday I was at the condo unit of my friend with some blockmates. We decided to hang out there. They have 3 doubled deck. I lay down on the top bed near the window. I tried opening the window but they were mad at me. Maybe they know that I might jump out of the window. They know how crazy and mad I am. But I told them I wouldn’t jump. Not yet. And they let me open it but they were guarding me. I opened it and took my feet out. I looked down. I was very tempted to jump. It’s like I can …

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2

That night.

January 22nd, 2016by Bunny

When i was a freshman, so 14, i tried to commit suicide for the first time. I can’t really explain why. It’s two years later and it still feels like it was all a dream. Sometimes it hits me all at once. Out of nowhere.. like around Christmas, i went and saw my youngest sisters choir concert. I was watching, listening. My dad on one side, my brother on the other. And it hit me.. all at once. Without warning.. as those things tend to do. I looked up at the stage, seeing her sing. My throat got that horrible dry feeling and suddenly the …

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3

Day 16.

January 22nd, 2016by Alex

Hello.

I’m still alive.

It’s been a while since the last time I posted here and to be quite honest I thought it was because I was getting better but I think that’s just a lie I keep telling myself so I don’t try to commit again. Lately I’ve been feeling quite down and have (LITERALLY) no friends to vent to and before this becomes into something more than it should I decided to come back and just, if not vent, at least just .. write .. about anything and everything, if that makes sense.

It’s going to be the anniversary of my last attempt and I feel …

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0

Once long ago

January 19th, 2016by Anxious_Ashley

The date is January 19th, 2016. I scroll through my email folders looking for old emails to delete and I come across a strange message saved in the bottom of a website folder.

[the suicide project]

Memories flooded back to me instantly. I log on and see that I’m an enigma. Just one draft from November 26th, 2013.

“Just don’t worry.”11/26/2013

I can’t help it. My brain is defective.

My name is Ashley. At the time of joining this website I was 18 years old and suffering through the worst depression that I had ever endured. The DEPO birth control shot was to blame, of course, but that just made …

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5

The closest I ever came to killing myself

January 19th, 2016by lost.soul.hopeful.heart

I’ve just needed to get this story off my chest. It’s been two years, and I’ve only told two friends and my councilor. This isn’t much of a story, but when I begin to think about suicide I remember the saving thought that I had. A lot of the time we feel so alone in the world. It can be for many reasons, but I think what I learned is, you’re not alone. No matter what you want to believe to make choosing suicide easier, you’re not alone, someone will still feel grief for you when you pass. For some people that’s not much of …

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43

My blackout

January 18th, 2016by NiDDA

On Friday I was going to try and kill myself. After a long search I thought that if I want to overdose on pills, the most available and lethal medication would be aspirin. Overdose is my style. I can’t cut myself even though I want it badly – I still can’t. I have a knife, I bought it for cutting my neck, but I just can’t do it, I can’t stab it in my flesh, but I may get to the point when I will be able to cut myself.

So, last week I carefully gathered all the things I would need to do the deed.

I bought …

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7

The worst thing about suicide

January 17th, 2016by NiDDA

Do you know what’s the worst thing about suicide?

It isn’t making the decision.

It isn’t buying the things you need.

It isn’t writing those letters to your loved ones.

It isn’t booking the hotel room, so your loves ones doesn’t find your body making it worse.

It’s not even the preparation: putting everything  on the table, so you have everything in one place and you just need to sit down and start. Oh no.

 

The worst thing is when you plan everything, you do everything and 36 hours later you f_cking wake up looking like shit, pale, and you have to go home and pretend like nothing happened.

 

It’s not the …

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7

Another story

January 16th, 2016by simplicity35

I dont think im any different than anyone else on here. My story is the same. Im a 16 year old girl trying to be happy and failing miserably. I have been battling anxiety and depression for over a year now, and it hasn’t gotten better. I dont think it will. Its bullshit when they say it gets better. Because it doesn’t. The day before my 16th birthday December 9th of this year, I tried to kill myself before school. There was nothing left for me in this world, and no one cared from me anymore. I was lonely and dead without really being dead.A …

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3

Find your exoskeleton: People do care

January 15th, 2016by Counting The Days Until I'm gone

Quite surprisingly, I have survived my suicide attempts 12 times over the last seven years. Though this is not necessarily something to be boastful about, I believe that things happen for a reason; even if the premise behind my repetitive failures is unbeknownst at this particular time.
I am eighteen years old, and this dark phase of my life began seven years ago subsequent to the loss of a an individual who I considered to be more of a mother to me than that assigned to me biologically. Subsequently, I lost the only real paternal figure I had two years ago. Between these two losses,

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6

Almost..

January 14th, 2016by nonexistingsoul

Today, after school ended, me and my friends decided to buy dresses for the debut of our friend. We decided to ride a train going to Tutuban. We paid and waited for the train. While waiting, I was lost in my thoughts. I remember the news I heard about a guy who decided to end his life by jumping on the riles while the train is near. I was so sad about it. I know how hard it is. Then I heard the train coming. I was thinking what If I do the same? What if I decide to jump like that guy did? I …

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1

My suicide attempts

January 9th, 2016by depressednerd

hi  my name is Santos and this is going to be about my suicide attempts   .

My first suicide attempt was  August 3rd I rememberthat threw that  time I was going threw major depression I would always cut myself and I would always hear how my parents thought I was worthless and my dad just that day slapped me and I got really sad and went online and read threw my ask. Fm comments and most of them were really bad some would say u have now friends u dumb fuck or others would say u look like a pig so I

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1

Just insane

January 6th, 2016by YouAreStrong

Not much to say other than I’ve totally lost it. I can do something about this, I could try again but I’ll only hurt people more. Tell no one and just go. Was I getting better? Probably. No it’s all gone to shit. Just want to curl up and shy away from everyone and everything. Nothing constructive from this just sadness.

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3

What is it like?

January 6th, 2016by serenityseeker

What is it like to just live? To just live a life where you don’t feel like everyone is watching you? Where no one gives a shit what you are doing, where you are going, who you are talking to, and how you are doing it? I really can’t remember. I honestly want to live in a cave underground with no windows and no doors and no light so that no one can see me ever. I want to not exist. I want to be alone so that I don’t hurt anyone. I want to never interact with anyone so that I don’t do anything …

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