Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

11

Unrequited — Got Me All Wrong

January 31st, 2015by killswitchon

“Farewell, Frodo Baggins. I give you the light of Eärendil, our most beloved star. May it be a light for you, in dark places, when all other lights go out.”? — Lady Galadriel, LOTR

Hopes, dreams, lusts, falls
maybe im the king of the fall
im so used to it
its second nature
beast of your creation
yet you blame me
call me a cocksucker one more time
this is the man i remember
where have you been all my life father
never mind you
nights sink to darkness blacker than my soul
misery is my company
sadness and anger are comrades in hate
i set my eyes to the evening star
the place where i go when hope is …

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0

Sem Viagens Perdidas

January 30th, 2015by Tristeza

“I didn’t want any flowers, I only wanted
To lie with my hands turned up and be utterly empty.
How free it is, you have no idea how free —
The peacefulness is so big it dazes you”
— S. Plath
.
It’s like this rain won’t ever stop. I hear it falling outside and it’s the perfect music to match my mood — it brings me peace and the type of melancholy I love so much.
I know I will probably have to live with my chronic pelvic pain forever and, honestly, I can’t …

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4

Mission Psychobabble

January 30th, 2015by killswitchon

“What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient… highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it’s almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed – fully understood – that sticks; right in there somewhere.” — Cobb, Inception

Mission Initiated:
This message will self destruct in three minutes,
Chaos
Patience
Fight
Tip toe your way through the underbrush of society
Never leaving a foot print
When asked?
It’s just a stint
A small role
You question,
Who me?
What am I?
Manifest destiny
Society’s sterile, no vasectomy
You, are a story waiting to be told
A legend
Lucky number seven
I, am number four
Strong and systematic to my core
Overzealous zealots of zion
Dont …

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3

Virtual Reality is escape from boring reality sucks , Virtual Reality is escape from boring real world sucks , Virtual Reality is escape from boring real life suck !

January 30th, 2015by niki

Virtual Reality is escape from boring reality suck ,
Virtual Reality is escape from boring real world suck ,
Virtual Reality is escape from boring real life sucks !

We all know that this Reality / Real-world / Real-life is very LIMITED / LIMITING !
everyday we do the same routines , chores , go make money , make money / profits , go to boring shitty jobs because of money , and then we go have fun, party, sex, entertainment etc etc , and then it repeats again !
What’s so interesting about that ??
I’ve observed that most people who actually LOVE all those boring things …

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3

I need help

January 29th, 2015by dgjb

About a year ago I got high and bullied a friend. I hurt her so bad that she attempted suicide then I felt really bad and have been depressed/suicidal ever since. I have moments in school where just like whatever and go into the bathroom and cut myself. It also doesn’t help when someone sees the cuts and tells people. I felt as if I dug a 100 foot hole I can’t get out of. My life is done. It won’t get better.

Edit: I forgot to say I’m also bullied and have been since 4th grade (currently in 8th) and its hard to deal with …

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12

“…six in the magazine, one in the chamber — I’m cocked, locked and ready to rock!”

January 25th, 2015by Shephard

It’s not everyday that a washed up has-been lands himself the type of woman he’d only ever seen in his dreams, but that is my reality at present. I don’t consider that luck or the work of the subterranean lizard folk — I see this (as I’ve always seen this) as the universe sending me the one and only opportunity to live life that I’ll ever have… and if that truly is what she’s been put into my life to facilitate; then boy, is she doing an outstanding job in doing so.

I’m still not without my demons and they’re still doing a good job …

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1

November 19th, 2014.

January 24th, 2015by lostsoulblanklife

November 19th, 2014 was my first suicide attempt. I’ve been suicidal ever since 1st grade. I’ve been suffering for 10 motherfucking years.

November 19th, was the day. Right before school, I ran up to my parents’ bathroom. I was about to brush my teeth, when it hit me. I looked to my left. There it was. The cabinet door was open. Full of pills. In the moment, I wasn’t thinking. They were right there. Uselessly sitting there. I slowly crept over to the cabinet. Looked at which bottle had more pills. Of course I wasn’t thinking of the details, what they were, what they could do …

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3

Had to tell somebody

January 20th, 2015by DeSuehill

So for starters, I’ve tried to commit suicide maybe half a dozen times.  Through pills, a few vain attempts at cutting my wrists, which have left my arms embarrassing and cumbersome for finding work.  I have been a cutter since I was 15, but those scars are hidden.

I used drugs for many years, meth, x, and shot coke for awhile.  Well, I did it, I quit drugs.  At 22, but than I started drinking.  Real fun drinking, but managed to keep a job.  When I didnt have a job, I drank all day and all night.

So I meet a man.  Also an alcoholic.  We moved …

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3

Idk what to do

January 17th, 2015by darksouI

uhm hi everyone,im new here.so last summer i tried to kill myself with pills but i failed and ended up in hospital for 2 weeks.i was diagnosed with major depression.my whole family thinks this is some kind of joke,they think that theres no way i could be depressed bc im just a teen and its so disgustin and annoying.my parents are horrible.theyre calling me names and expect too much.i cry almost everynight because i cant get their words oyt of my head.my mom thinks “i’ve everything” but to her everything is money and material stuff.they never tried talking to me and always act like everything …

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1

An Unwelcome Guest

January 16th, 2015by Silverbird

A disclaimer to the world.

I really don’t belong. There’s no conceivable place on this planet where I belong.

The public is my enemy. If you put someone in front of me, I’ll do everything in my power to disregard them, including not-disregarding them. My mask is so genuine that it even deceives myself half the time, such is the cost of being able to blend into society, and avoid being a homeless bum the rest of my pitiful existence (of which will continue to be a pitiful existence, bum or not, however bums are publicly pitiful, which is why I’m willing to throw myself away most …

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1

Vulnerability

January 13th, 2015by cr-123456

Hello,

Thanks for taking the time to read this post. I have been thinking about shame and guilt. What I’ve noticed so far that I have done some terrible things in my life as a result of shame. I have intense suicidal thoughts due to shame. Shame, meaning I am a bad person and guilt meaning I have bad behaviors.

At times, I think people use shame and guilt interchangeably, which is detrimental to someone who struggles with mental illness. I have a lot of shame. I am shameful of my ethnic background, I am shameful of my behaviors and people I’ve hurt. There’s several things wrong …

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15

I’m Back, It Helped

January 12th, 2015by moonlitrose34

Soooo…first off, I wanted to thank all the people that gave me all of their encouraging comments on my last post, and in general. (which was about a week ago)

That was when I was hospitalized. I didn’t have my phone..and there were two computers to use the internet, which was crappy, but I think I would’ve thrown a red flag out there had I gotten on here, so I waited until I was out. Today I got discharged from the hospital, and I just wanted to talk about my experience.

So I was terrified when I first went there, I went voluntarily but I was still …

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12

my story on why i wish to end it

January 6th, 2015by munckin

The current situation is a sick love story. The girl who I think is the one, thinks the same of me… Yet; she cheats on me and gives as reason that she is insecure due to that I got a message on my phone in the early stage of our relationship. She is also jealous the moment someone looks at me in a club; me noticing that someone is looking at me is enough to shatter her self-esteem.

Then after several months of dating she tells me she need to meet her ex to be sure of her feelings and that this relationship is truly the …

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3

Getting better

January 5th, 2015by LittleBead

I’ve been put through enough pain by my relationships! It’s high time I restarted my life. I am going to start some hobbies! I may be suffering from hypomania or whatever, but it’s better than 3 years of being sad. Damn, feeling good, so normal, makes me unbelievable happy.

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5

You’re not alone.

January 2nd, 2015by Moistwaffles1

I don’t really see a point in this whole life thing. You wake up, do your daily routine, something happens that kills you inside, you go home and cry, then you fall asleep. At least, that’s how it is in my book. I remember when I used to be happy. When I could go outside and play with the other kids in the neighborhood. When I could put on my mothers clothes and tell her I was going to be just like her. What happened? I went from that, to being so sensitive to everything that happens in my life. And it sucks because I …

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2

Goodbye, Goodbye

January 1st, 2015by moonlitrose34

This isn’t anything special. It’s just a poem I wrote at 5 am. Even though it’s not that great, it describes my inner turmoil.

I want to talk about this pain,
That I’ve felt was always in vain,

Do you really not see,
What’s become of me?

On silent nights,
I always fight,

As tears run down my eyes,
Each teardrop breaking my ties,

My ties with this world,
As I am hurled,

Into this insanity,
Which will never set me free.

My teardrops slowly become red,
Food for the blade that I’ve fed.

They tell me that all will be well,
While I slowly rot away in this hell,

Could they not tell that I am shackled,
To the voices inside that …

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3

Will It Ever End?

December 31st, 2014by suicidalflower

Here I lay at 3am still trying to fall asleep.

The thoughts of suicide keep flooding into my mind. Prying at the walls of my skull. Screaming in my ears and telling me to kill myself. Though, I’ve tried it a few times. But my world never seemed to end.

Drink bleach; I’m rushed to the hospital.

Overdose; my body refused.

Climb to the top of a building; I’m afraid of heights.

People tell me that God put me here for a reason. But prove to me that this God exists and that he put me here for a reason. I am suffering in this madness. If this God supposedly …

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2

life is sad…

December 29th, 2014by darkness_within

Mh.. I want to share this now..

Life has no meaning, it’s only a shitty story with a happy start. Im jealous that i’ll never see the things like the other happy people do.

It’s a shame that I cant do something right… The only thing i ever wanted was to do something right.. That the people i love the most would be proud of me..but.i guess that’ll never happen.

My mom was never proud of me and she never will.

But im over it now.

The people i love will die. And i’ll die too.

 

Live isn’t for everyone.

Live isn’t for me.

This live is just sad. Thats my opinion. Everything …

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6

Love and Loss

December 28th, 2014by QuixoticNomad

The years between my graduation from college and meeting you were filled with depression and loss; I was in an existential crisis; I was a tortured soul. I became an abuser of alcohol. But, that abuse went unnoticed because I lived in a college town where binge drinking was the norm. I worked a job where my co-workers partied hard. We had so many parties where I drank to the point of blacking out on too many occasions to count. I suppose the drinking was a way to cope with my distress. I can remember many occasions where I would be driving or doing any …

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18

Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !

December 28th, 2014by niki

Life is empty & meaningless, without any/no purpose, Life is boring, empty! There is no meaning of life! fuck life, fuck reality !

The more I grow up & learn after all these 32 years of my life, sadly, the more I feel hopeless especially for humanity / our humans species!
MAJORITY of people / humans beings / humanity are so damn shallow, superficial, vain, ignorant, stupid, fake, dirty, liars, etc etc.
I used to have so much HOPE for humanity , but now the hope is dwindling until it’s almost none !!
MOST people are sadly only concerned with vain, shallow, mundane “daily-life” & little things like …

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