Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

2

Break-up letter to my mother

October 1st, 2014by Engie

I’ve been trying to write a break-up letter to my mother for at least a week now. The week before, I waited to make sure I was making the right choice and was not acting uncharacteristically emotional.

I want to write this letter, but I just can’t be bothered. It seems like too much effort. Maybe I need to write down the main points and then flesh it out. Don’t really know why I’m doing it though. I mean, if I’m never going to speak to her or any of her siblings again, do I really care what she thinks? Maybe I’m doing it so she …

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6

Painless suicide

September 27th, 2014by B

I know there are endless threads on this topic but I can’t seem to find a consistent answer. Does anyone know of a painless way to commit suicide (either from research or from a painless past overdose)? I do not know if I will get a response and if I do receive one I am not looking for some form of moral support. I understand that there is much to take out of life and that, as the 15 year old I am, I have not yet experienced many of the joys life has to offer, but I have suffered for too long. Medications and …

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1

Raw emotion

September 26th, 2014by StayingAnonymous

It’s been such a long time. Just by being back here I feel all the hidden pain come rushing to the surface. It’s fimilar, almost comforting.

I’m ashamed to be here. Understanding my depression, and facing it head on, was my greatest downfall in life. Yet somehow, I tamed the beast. I lived two years of happiness. Oh god, it was purely amazing. Looking back, it was remarkable, something I’d never thought possible. I cannot say that I’m angry it’s over, there’s no self pity here. I am grateful for the time I was given. I always knew in the back of my mind, that my …

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2

It Needs To Stop

September 23rd, 2014by hooded_girl

1 became 2, then 2 to 4. 1 cut every time my heart fell to the floor.
4 became 5, then 5 to 8. 1 cut every time I’ve experienced self-hate.
8 became 9, then 9 to 11. 1 cut every time I wish I was in Heaven.
11 became 12, then 12 to 16. 1 cut every time they were ever mean.
16 became 17, then 17 to 21. 1 last cut before my life was done.
1 cut, 2 cut, 3 cut, 4.
Loss of blood, my mind began to flood, as my life went on no more.
Self-Harm is like a drug to some, addictive and sweet.
To feel something, …

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7

Suicide > Website

September 22nd, 2014by DayDreamer6

This website isn’t helping. I’m at my lowest, I need help, yet no one helps. Thanks.

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5

That’s frustrating !

September 21st, 2014by BanjoDK

Finally! I did it late last afternoon. I made everything ready, and then set me Down in my sofa/ couch and drank 4 beer. I found some good music on my stereo and did it! But… I woke up on the floor. The homemade fabric “Rope” i had made was broken. I remember when i was “Gone” hearing a lot of noise and wery fast loud breathing sounds. Really scary. I don’t know how long i was gone. When i woke up i did’nt knew WHO i was or WHERE i was for like 10 seconds. It was wery unrealistic. Now my throat Hurts when i swallow, …

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3

Why do they do it?

September 19th, 2014by Rex_Dawn

They treat you like crap in the real life, yet they act like they care on the internet. Why is this? Why do they stab you in the back to your face. They don’t see the cuts, they think I’m fine, they think it doesn’t hurt, they also believe I do not cut from excuses. No one thinks I’m a good liar, they don’t know how good of a liar I really am. I hide my cuts they don’t suspect. I plot to leave, but my uncle keeps me here by making me show a true smile. When he helps me they hurt him, I …

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3

Broken…

September 19th, 2014by thepillboy

This whole thing started about 5 years ago…i was 15 then…life started to hit me even harder than before…i grew with my grandparents,not so nice,they we’re always fighting over silly things,my grandpa was an alcoholic dog,my grandma was always nice,miss her btw  ^^.I grew with my grandparents because my parents left the country when i was 8.So,after my 15 th birthday,you know,puberty,all of that shit,started to smoke,drink,party,it was good,you know,so good,until love started to hit me like an hurricane,i was so in love…she knew,i told her so many times,but she didn’t care…for 2 years i couldn’t stop thinking about her…that’s not nice…a few sleepless nights,drinking …

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1

whats my purpose…

September 19th, 2014by mrlopez1415

This feeling of, ‘wanting to just die’ has last for about 4 years now.  I’ve tried hanging myself multiple times, but I always fail…  I use to walk down the road hoping a car would hit me.  I’ve had close near death experiences from drugs and alcohol, but wonder why I hadn’t died?  That raises the question to what is my purpose on this planet.  Nowadays, I have no urge to kill myself, but just hopes that something would just end me instantly. So now I try to hope everyday, that a miracle (that I think in the back of my mind won’t happen) would …

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5

My Dearest Collin

September 19th, 2014by rossonmarcus

My Dearest Collin

In the time that has passed since your death, I have struggled with why you did it…why you killed yourself.  You had no mental illness. You didn’t struggle with depression.  You had no previous attempts or cries for help.  You had a loving girlfriend that wanted to marry you.  You had a good job, good friends…a family that loved you.   So you had received several speeding tickets and lost your license.  So you got caught driving on a suspended license and extended the suspension of your driving priveledges.  So, you drove your inebriated friend home from the bar because he was in no shape …

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25

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

Trying this out. Hoping someone is out there?

September 17th, 2014by Autumn Jane Sky

Hi. I found this site last February by accident and have been popping in once and a while to check out posts. Today I decided to register. Why so? I’m not exactly sure. All I know is that I’ve tried two ways now to die, both have failed on numerous attempts. I’m seeing a psychologist and I’m on medication to control my anxiety problems and depression. I’m 4’2″ living with a type of dwarfism known as achondroplasia. I absolutely hate my body and luv carving it with pretty red sketches. There are voices inside my head and they aren’t all that pleasant. So Yeh, I’m …

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13

Thoughts & Advice for Suicide or Survival – Suicidals Please Read

September 15th, 2014by coconut

I found this site last night when I was in a bad state. I haven’t been suicidal since I was 19 and am now 22, but came here looking for a supportive voice because even though I’ve escaped my battles I still feel the after effects (details in my earlier post). After reading some posts I’m concerned. Remember I have been there and I know how it is. I am being very honest and my comments on how to go, how to not go, motivation and survival preparation are towards the end.

Suicide:

1. If you want to kill yourself that is your choice. Please keep in mind though, death …

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2

fuck Reality ! Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks ! Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring ! movies, novels books, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!

September 14th, 2014by niki

fuck Reality ! fuck real life ! fuck real world !
Reality sucks ! Real world sucks ! Real life sucks !
Reality boring ! Real life boring ! Real world boring !
movies, novels, comics, games, manga/anime are better than Reality !!
there is no MAGIC, no SUPERPOWER , no ‘cool, magical’ SUPERHERO / SUPERHEROES like in those movie , novel , comics , game / games , manga / anime , etc etc !
FUCKING BORING real world / real life / reality !!!

I also hate this life, I hate people / humans, I hate reality, I hate this world.
its very BORING !! and …

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1

There’s no way out

September 12th, 2014by Sunflowerdaisy

I’ve always been aware of the things around me but yet i’m so scaredof everything. i’m a senior and i’ve been depressed for a long time now. Everyone i had turned their back on me because they didn’t like who i was. worse,when it ever came to confrontations iwas and still  afraid of standing up for myself and i hate the fact that i’m weak and worthless. I often hide how i feel and disguise it, noone cares about me. Last year i tried comitting suicide a couple of times but failed because i don’t want to die without atleast trying to be happy. i …

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4

Unprempted Survivor

September 12th, 2014by Scarlett Dawn

I thought I had finally found the perfect method. Tbh, I had in my time frame and with what I could get in possession of.

Yet destiny must have thought against my wishes and I was revived in time.

Last Friday night I injected just over 5mg of ithium methadone (not being a junkie, I missed my vien) swallowed approx 230mg of water dissolved fluoxetine cognitive mixture and a bottle of JD to try and OD.
I was in an induced coma for three days then in ICU at Redcliffe for two with breathing, feeding, etc tubes down my throat and needles sticking out of me everywhere. I …

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2

“Not Falling”

September 11th, 2014by bigjamdaddy

“Not Falling”
by Mudvayne

Always, known in, all my time,
A little left of center now
Reflect as I realize,
That all I need is to find the middle pillar path to sit like the sun by a star in the sky and
just be.
Sinners, casting stones at me

I… I stand, not crawling, not falling down
I… I bleed the demons that drag me down
I… I stand, (for nothing), not crawling, (the center), not falling down (of calms within the eye)
I… I’ll bleed, (for no one), The demons, (but myself), that pull me down (for me and no one else)

Goodbye, sunshine, I’ve put it out again, sad
I’m over, personalities, conflicting, I don’t …

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1

I don’t even know what this post is

September 11th, 2014by queenofdarkness

When “I’m depressed”

comes out of the mouth of a 7 year old,

a kid too young to know what it really means,

you say “Don’t be one of those people, they’re selfish.”

Knowing full well that I am one of “those people.”

 

Is it terribly adolescent of me

to think,

“Oh yeah? You know what’s selfish? You. You and your fucking religion, fucking forcing me to do things I don’t believe in, praying fucking five times a day, wearing a fucking headscarf every fucking day, pretending I like the sexist homophobic Arab-elitist bullshit that spews out of the mouths of the imams giving the Friday sermons. You and your little victim …

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2

I tried

September 10th, 2014by imdrowning

Well i almost succeeded in dying. I was so close i could feel myself slipping away and then i could hear them. my ex-best friend finding me, the paramedics coming in and then the hospital. in the end i guess i survived. I’m still dead inside and have no reason to live. I just need to get out of this life i can’t do it anymore.

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19

im not sure if this is a hello or a goodbye but i need feedback pleaseeeee!!!

September 6th, 2014by oncehaditall

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hello there fellow SP readers im in need of some advice or guidance im so lost right now and for months the only solution to my problems is suicide.

My problems: Legal issues- im looking at some serious time for a crime im innocent in

Because of my legal issues im out of a really good job and i cant afford my bills and have missed many payments now

Im gonna be paying for my lawyer for the next 10 years for something i didnt do

everyone in my town hates me because of the way the media portrayed me and i cant leave …

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