Suicidal Survivors

For those who have survived suicide.

1

I don’t feel right.

December 9th, 2016by antecedent

I don’t feel “right”, and I haven’t felt “right” in a very long time.
I feel an uncomfortable emptiness, and as if life is continuing on in an unpleasant repetition, and I’m growing tired of it.

I am sixteen years old, and I have obtained my GED. I am going to begin college early next year, and I feel like I’m not ready, at least, with tolerating my anxiety. I have terrible anxiety, and I have panic attacks if I’m within a supermarket or similar public setting for too long. I’ve been in the college before, being I had to apply for it, and I began sweating and …

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3

Secrets I’ve always wanted to tell. (1st timer here…)

December 8th, 2016by Asystole

I had no idea a website like this existed, but I’m grateful to have found it.  I lurked and read many things here before deciding to sign up to post. I wonder if anyone out there can relate to my story?  I wonder if anyone out there is my age, or older?  I wonder if anyone shares my burdens? I wonder, I wonder…. I guess we all wonder those things… Anyway, here I am at 38 years old (I feel like the oldest on here) writing to no one or everyone about my desire to die via suicide.  It’s not something new.  There are moments …

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1

I’m back.. And feel worse than ever..

December 8th, 2016by GerbzBaby

I haven’t posted here in what seems like a long time. My life was starting to improve little by little, but, as of recently it’s gone down hill. I’ve been having so much trouble with keeping myself happy. My physical as well as my mental health is rapidly deteriorating. I’m not eating correctly, I only eat at least one to two meals a day with very little consumption of water. When I do eat it’s junk food. My digestive system is all kinds of fucked up (going to the doctors soon to get it checked) and I really do fear for the worst.

My mental health …

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16

update

December 6th, 2016by adecoy95

idk if anyone remembers me or not but i just wanted to post an update since my last posting.

i made an attempt about a month ago, since then i have been getting help and more therapy, as well as new medicine.

for a few weeks it was helping really well, i started showering regularly, losing weight, going to the gym, trying to get out there. i tried a fake it till you make it approach. but its not working.

i would think that after nearly a month and a half now i would start seeing improvements, but putting my past distractions behind has ended up with me …

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4

Last Hope Vanished – I was Born, Shaped, and MOLDED by the DARK!!!

December 1st, 2016by silverComplex

I was doing Carbon Monoxide in a sealed tent underground… I was just passing out and I crawled out and realized looking at the sunset… I want to live as much as I want to die… In other words, when life gets fucking hard I want to die as much I want to fucking live!! I fucking screamed and broke down. Every muscle in me was aching was saying what’s the point? Every muscle in my fucking body was telling me to stop. Every in me was telling me to stop and give up. And I said I can fucking do it… I know there is …

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6

Strange Experience

November 23rd, 2016by away

I just tried to hang myself. Clearly, given that I’m posting on here, it didn’t pan out. It was a profoundly strange experience, though.

I tied the rope to a towel hook on the bathroom door (bad call) and threw the slip knot over the door. Afterwards, I stood on a stool with the rope around my neck, experimenting. My cat watched me intently for a minute or two before sauntering off…

It hurt. I know that unconsciousness is swift but I’d be lying if I said that applying the pressure to my neck wasn’t painful. Because of that, I kept changing the placement of the rope, …

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6

i wish harry potter was real , i wish fantastic beasts were real , i wish magic was real , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

November 23rd, 2016by niki

i wish harry potter was real really exist , i wish fantastic beasts were real really exist , i wish magic was real really exist , i wish magic really exist , i wish wizards were real really exist

because reality is boring , mundane , and limiting limited
because real world is boring , mundane , and limited limiting
because real life is boring , mundane , & limited limiting !

reality is all about MONEY !
real-life is all about Money !
real-world is all about Money !

Life is boring , mundane ,
movies is better than reality real life real world !
novels is better than reality …

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3

Earth Won’t Let Me Go

November 17th, 2016by away

This is ridiculous. I wasn’t supposed to live to write another post.

Things were going swiftly. I was adjusting the rope, everyone was asleep, and it was pitch black outside; the perfect tableau.

However, I guess that it just took me too long to get the knot and the rope’s position on my neck correct, because I suddenly saw my next door neighbour’s garage light turn on! He was definitely outside. One of the bedrooms in the house behind mine randomly had its light on too.

Of course, I panicked, threw the towel that was supposed to be wrapped around my neck away, turned the rope still tied to …

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4

I am alive because of you

November 13th, 2016by silent survivor

Hello, it has been 2 years since the last time I’ve been on here. Things have changed. I often find myself wondering if the same people who were here when i first started are still alive or if their lives have gotten better. I hope so. I hope that they’re enjoying life as much as they can like i am.

I want to be honest, the first time i came across this place i was  around 13-14 years old and googling suicide methods. Instead of finding ways to end my life this place helped me find ways to cope and keep on living. I am 18 years …

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9

Suicide

November 8th, 2016by WorthlessPuppy

I have been suicidal for many years. Have tried many times. I have a huge scar across my throat from slitting it. I would give anything for a way to go. I have seen posts on here and in a sick way its nice that I am not alone. Altthough I wish you guys felt better… I think I may be a lost cause though…. Im definitely feeling it tonight…

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4

I hate reality ! reality is boring ! Doctor Strange , Marvel MCU , Avengers , Sword Art Online , Virtual Reality , games , movies , novels , anime manga , comics is better than reality !

October 29th, 2016by niki

I hate reality ! reality is boring !

Doctor Strange is better than reality !
Marvel MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) is better than reality !
Avengers is better than real world !
Sword Art Online is better than real life !
Virtual Reality is better than boring reality !
video games is better than reality real life real world !
movies is better than real-world real-life reality !
novels is better than real-life real-world reality !
anime manga is better than boring real life real world reality !
comics is better than boring real world real life reality !

Why Human’s Imagination is much better than reality ??
movies , games …

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6

Missing Suicidal Thoughts

October 20th, 2016by conflictedcollegekid

In May, I tried overdosing. Well, it obviously didn’t work. I ended up being sent to a psych hospital for 11 days. Then I did a partial hospitalization program for 3 weeks, and then did an intensive outpatient program for 5 weeks. During that time, I quit self harming, quit abusing prescription drugs, and quit having suicidal thoughts.

It’s been 5.5 months since I first wound up in my inpatient place. But now that I’m “healed” or whatever the hell you want to call it….I feel weird. And I don’t like it. For whatever reason, I miss being how I used to be. I miss being …

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1

Message to kissy_93

October 10th, 2016by RuinsOfTheVoid

I have seen you pop up in the community in the last few days and I just want to say you are not alone. Everyone on this site knows what its like to hurt. You are not alone.

You keep asking for a reason to live, but life is not that simple. There are things in my life that I love and cherish and things I give no value to. I love my GF and my laptop, I don’t love my clothes, if I lose them I can just get more clothes. I cannot replace my GF. So she gives my life meaning, I fight everyday …

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0

My first attempt…

October 9th, 2016by starrynights14

I hated how my community view suicide as an cowardly, attention seeking and impulsive act. At least when I tried that several years ago, it wasn’t anything like that.

It’s a long story if you want me to talk about what lead to my attempt. My life has been absolutely exhausting, and there’s just no way for it to get any better. I had contemplated and planned my for my death for a very long time. However, committing to my decision to kill myself actually required a great deal of time and determination. It was actually pretty difficult to drown out that little voice in my …

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3

At this point, just looking for a peaceful exit.

October 2nd, 2016by princess_switters

I attempted suicide back in May, and while certainly not my first attempt (I’ve lost count) it was the most serious.  I OD’d on phenobarb and diazepam, was intubated and in coma for 10 days, and 5 months later my left leg is still paralyzed from the knee down from sciatic nerve damage sustained while unconscious.

I was naïve enough to think that returning to university this Fall would make me happy and give me a renewed sense of purpose, but class started last week and since then my desire to be dead has resurfaced and intensified to the point where it’s all I think about. I …

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6

It feels so weird to be back…

September 17th, 2016by Within Evanescence

Hi everyone,

I’m guessing that most of you don’t recognize me, but I made this profile about two years ago. Though, I haven’t posted anything in half a year. Just like you, I was at the bottom of the deepest bottle… At some point I started making actual plans for attempting suicide, and I once came very, very close to making an attempt, but I never actually tried anything for real. Here’s a simple explanation of why:

First of all, my school had sent me to a psychologist. That was one of the scariest experiences of my life, but it turned out to be one of the …

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5

Kathy’s Silent Cry for Help!

September 15th, 2016by blackberry2

Hello,                            9-14-2016

I am submitting a true story about my childhood and attempted suicide at 10 years old with hopes that my experiences may encourage open communication regarding this painful topic for parents, youngsters, and professionals. Please, we must try to prevent children and teens from feeling a need to end their lives. I hope that I may be able to help even one child, teen, or adult from feeling so alone having had such a traumatic childhood, and to help them realize that if they get help they will certainly smile again.?? …

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0

Reopening the project…

September 12th, 2016by 2sadhappy

It’s been about a year or so since I was here but something tells me it’s time to come back for a bit. I want to be here to be a lifeline for somebody. I used to receive emails from around the world and hear amazing stories. I had to step away for a while to catch my own breath but I like to hear from you guys.

I don’t consider myself suicidal at the moment although I have cut before and sometimes think about the silence of death as peaceful. I probably stand out a little in that I see death I’d say at least …

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3

Giving up

August 27th, 2016by Sach77

So… Im alive sadly. But I’m going to treatment on monday and I think I’m just gonna give up. I’m gonna lay in bed and not do anything. I’ll see what they do, I wonder. I wonder what will happen. No matter what they do I have nothing to live for. They can’t threaten anything if I have nothing to be threatened with. Idk I’m curious. well thats my rant thing today.

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3

I’m always being compared to my sister/ being left out

August 24th, 2016by GerbzBaby

In my family I’m the oldest of my two sisters (we are going to call them:) C and A. C being the first at 17 and A being the second youngest at 15. Me being of the age of 18 you’d think I wouldn’t be compared to my little sister (in this case my sister C)… But I am… A lot! I’m never just “Amanda” I’m just “C’s sister”.

“Oh! You are very shy compared to C.” “Your nothing like C is!” “You don’t look like C or A at all!” “You and C have nothing in comman.” These are just the few I can think …

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