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0

Oblivion

May 3rd, 2016by Raven

I don’t want to try and fight this shit anymore. Its funny because this thought never goes away. It lessens. Well today its a little stronger than normal. Its been building. Festering probably going to morph into an alternative better version of me. The sad thing is that I doubt anyone would be able to tell the difference. They would like “her” more. I’m being consumed by my own demons. I gave up on trying to fight them long ago. I’m fucked for however long I live. I’m stuck living, failed at taking my life and a whole bunch of other shit. I can’t even …

0

happy suicide music

May 3rd, 2016by Lacalamity

Fidlar makes some good music, digged a bit trough his channel

2

dissipation

May 3rd, 2016by Alan Ominous

Blow out the flame
A vapor of smoke lingers
A faint reminder
Of what once was
Now no more
Dissipation

1

May 3rd, 2016by Dusty96

I hope this to be my last post ever on this website. For me, things did not get better. I know now that they will not get better. Anytime something good ever happens to me, it gets taken away from me. It is always a matter of time before something knocks my happiness off course. I hope tomorrow I can end my life. I pray for it. My parents will be working and it my perfect chance to end it all. Maybe sometime this week. Even though things did not get better for me, it may get better for whomever is reading this. Stay strong. …

0

I’m All Alone

May 3rd, 2016by TodSchema

I close my eyes
A crimson black tide envelopes the room
A wave of chronical death washes over me
A never-ending nocturnal tsunami

It’s time for a student’s noontime meal
An expectant hush fills the room
As she kisses a box wilted grapes
And yet the withered fruit I consume

I see curdled milk in cheesecloth
Cicadas sing in the mid-summer’s day heat
As I march along to a Jew’s Harp song
A venomous serpent coils at my feet

I hear poolside laughter
The scent of barbeque fills the air
I see her standing at poolside edge
The sun glistening in her jet-black hair

I stare at the newsprint – absent of color
My whole world turns black and grey
Drowning in the …

0

Sleep

May 2nd, 2016by TodSchema

“Sleep –

Those little slices of death –
How I loathe them”
~ Edgar Allen Poe ~

Passion and desire for life – depleting
Bloodshot eyes – Exhaustion – Eyelids sagging
A veil of crimson black – Consciousness fading
The Reaper’s vicious joke – Death only passing

Sleep –
Those little slices of death –
How I loathe them

Total blackness – Utter silence
No sense of time – of being – or feeling
No pain – No fearing – No hurting
A shame it’s only fleeting

Sleep –
Those little slices of death –
How I loathe them

The crimson black veil – Slowly lifting
Consciousness – The emotions – The fearing
The wanting – The yearning – Death wish returning
Another …

3

May 2nd, 2016by NicoleK

Dammit. I try so friggin hard to keep my mouth shut, but I can’t seem to isolate myself properly. Nobody should have to deal with my sad BS, but I am and always will be a whiney, stupid loser. I get weak, and I cave, and I burden others with my helpless garbage. Gah. I wish I could get some rest and turn my brain off.

0

Waiting for the day

May 2nd, 2016by Rory959

If only I could meet her now…

A girl that see’s me for my troubles and doubts.

Someone willing to reach out their hand to me, help me out of this mess.

I’ve created it for myself, this world of hurt I call my life.

So far any sort of opportunity or chance at redemption has never come my way.

I fight alone, and sure I got friends but when I need them the most…they’re never there.

Can’t tell you how many times I dream of a life where I’m happy.

No shit too, I’ll have dreams where I am with her again.

But she’s always out of my reach.

No matter what I …

17

Midnight Marigolds

May 2nd, 2016by Hazy Day Sunflower

night marigolds

Sometimes it isn’t farewell.
Love yourself, be kind.

HDS

2

utter turmoil

May 2nd, 2016by 4beyondhelp

this has been the most emotionally exhausting day of my entire godforsaken existence. I don’t know what to do or think anymore, I’m just crying and crying. I’ve got the absolute worst headache from having 5 hours of sleep and 4 hours of crying. This just fucking sucks ass.

I had to call my mother and tell her I’m self-harming. She says she thought I was the one thing she got right in her life, but apparently I’m not. So, great. Fan-fucking-tastic. I have ruined my mother’s life and all this without her even knowing I’m suicidal. she asked why I would even tell her if …

1

School Related

May 2nd, 2016by InteriusLight

Sometime in the recent past, the school decided to hang small scraps of paper on every other wall that read:
“Who are we as human beings to ignore the suffer of others?”

But, do they think this will do anything? So many people I’ve seen in this school don’t really care how someone else is.
Really, I feel like most would say:
“Oh, you’re depressed? Well, suck it up.”
I’ve also begun to see who the person I [used to] love really is.
He’s a self-entitled bastard that thinks he understands how the world works and thinks everything is black and white.

I end my rant here.

9

Your opinion is Wanted ! I’m spinning in a circle, time running out

May 2nd, 2016by Cold_Sleep

I just got the message, from my ex, she want’s to go out for a drink with me tomorrow night!! I still love her, so that’s great right ? so why em I posting this crap here?

Well it is not great, this is not fucking great at all. And here is why :

we have been together for almost 5 years, and she have break up with me 2 months ago, 3 weeks ago she had told me she have meet someone and that they are dating for few days now. But 2 weeks ago I have found out  she had been cheating with this guy

2

sigh….

May 2nd, 2016by claritee

I just broke down crying in front of my mom, I never cry in front of her.

Okay, so I know I talk my ex incessantly, but I never talk about my real pain. I am a caretaker for my 70 year old mother. I forgot to schedule her transportation (because she’s wheelchair bound) for an appointment she has had for months with her pain doctor.

My brain is scattered. I can barely put on my shoes and yet I am bogged down with EVERYTHING. I have to do everything under the sun for her because she is disabled. I also run a business at home and …

1

Eating Away The Moments…

May 2nd, 2016by rivets

I kind of want to go join Greenpeace. Or climb up a tree and live there to keep loggers from cutting it down. Something like that. Maybe chain myself to a Grizzly bear so a poacher can’t shoot it. Who knows. There are many courses one can take. Or I could be a living cat tower in a garden somewhere. That might be fun, but what would I eat? Many questions yet to be answered. How the heck do environmentalists do it? I’m not sure if they’re the kids of rich people and can afford to not make a steady paycheck, or if they’re masochists. …

1

smoothies

May 2nd, 2016by demolitionlover

i had the worst day today between getting zero sleep and trying to survive the mental torment. i was so close to tears all day and i couldn’t bring myself to utter a single word.

and then i got a smoothie and it made my whole day.

3

Bree and Voices

May 2nd, 2016by JiminyCrispies

Despite still having this energy and whatnot, the voices and figures have made it impossible to do anything with it for the past few days – meaning I have been increasingly irritable and angry.

I haven’t gotten any work done because I can’t concentrate on anything, so the energy gets burnt off with arguments and fights with my stepdad (verbal and physical – my cheekbone is slightly bruised again, which was accidental, but I’ve covered it so no one knows anyway).

I saw my therapist on Friday and she’s happy with me – I didn’t tell her much, and my mum was going on about how ‘well …

14

Why why why

May 2nd, 2016by Dungeon

My dad got the results back from the doctors today for the weird lump on his neck. We thought it was just a swollen gland but apparently its a cancerous tumor.
What is this.
How is this happening. Its not fair, he works so hard for the family its not fair.
why does this happen, why can’t things be ok for once
why are things getting worse? why does my family have to suffer?

3

Why Did the Nun Cross Herself?

May 2nd, 2016by muspelhem

Leggings

[This may be gibberish, but I just feel like writing:]

People sometimes ask for a reason to live. Or the meaning of life.

Isn’t that sort of ridiculous?

I tend towards this: there is no reason to live, and you don’t need one either. Just get on with it.

Because you were born for no better reason than your parents decided to get frisky and not use protection or the protection failed or your dad was a donor and your mom got something out of the freezer, or you were conceived in a lab. Regardless, you are pointless, and so …

4

Terrible

May 2nd, 2016by yixian

I’ve surprised myself by actually returning to this website a few days later, despite not initially planning to. I’m not particularly in a depressed mood like usual, but I expect it to rise up on me anyday now. But that’s not what I wanted to talk about.

I want to talk about my personality. And I wanted to ask if others were like this too, because I feel this is a major reason why I’m so detached to people in my life. I take pride in my terrible personality, I think the most fitting term would be “bitch” but frankly, it’s much more. I like to …

15

Question for the ladies

May 2nd, 2016by mysteriousvisitor

I have been avoiding most serious posts because I am too much of a wreck to comment. That is what I need to ask about:

A while back I posted because I had a panic attack and that was new for me (have had anxiety, but never a full-on physical panic attack). Since then I am getting worse and I finally figured out what has triggered this – perimenopause or the start of menopause itself. I still have to get tests to make it official, but it is obvious to me. I know I’ve been having signs of it coming up over the past year, but …