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5

listening to a drunken father

November 25th, 2014by Hjerteblomst

Talk constantly about the same things over and over.
no i cant do anything about it.
the only way out is death…
but i don’t like life anyway…
hoping to die is a waste of time
but i don’t need to write. I just look like a fucking complainer.

40

I was banned from crisis chat

November 25th, 2014by cryingflying

And i’m in crisis how that work>?

6

not living

November 25th, 2014by Hjerteblomst

I am not living, just existing.
yes i am alive. But day to day i am just existing in life.
no, i am not dead, no i am not some special person, no i am not some magical person, no i am not someone who can turn their suffering off by existing.

maybe somebody understands what i mean. What’s the point, why care, why do anything… Why?????
if my life was enjoyable, maybe i would be living……

3

My Suicide Journals (2010)

November 25th, 2014by L4Y

In 2010, after over a decade of severe depression and several years of suicidal feelings, I made the decision to finally end things. To this day, it is the only time I have ever made concrete plans to take my life.

I kept a journal documenting my decision and feelings before and leading up to my planned suicide. Below are excerpts from two of those journal entries (the second being parts of a private message sent to someone from my past I had reconnected with. It was written as my end date was approaching).

Perhaps there are some people who will find comfort in reading these things …

0

If I die before I wake

November 25th, 2014by danceintherain16

People have killed themselves over more and over less. If truth be told, this is not the first, second, or third attempt. It is not even the first attempt this month.

 

I just want to say that I’m overall pretty disappointed in mankind. We’re selfish, rude, vindictive, spiteful, and no matter how much “word of god” is preached, the more religious are usually the most corrupt.

 

I ended my life with trust in one person. He told me that if I killed myself, I would go to hell. I think he just told me that to scare me. I hope that he just told me that to …

2

i’m curious

November 25th, 2014by heyimlost

Why is that when I tell an adult of my problems, all they do is pat me on the back with a laugh and say, Don’t worry, that’s just a part of life. This will be nothing to when you’re an adult.”

So? How does life being even more shitty in the future affect me now? I guess people want me to gain strength from it or ~wake up to the reality~ and stop being a whiny kid, but all I get from them saying this is, “Your problems are nothing, yet you’re so weak. Just go kill yourself right now.”

5

I am a monster

November 25th, 2014by LittleBead

In my opinion, bad people should be put to death. Do you share this belief? Yes? No?

In my opinion I’m one of these. I just deserve to die. I am a monster. I am evil. Just evil.

Death seems to be cozy and I would be in place where’s no remorse.

Remorse just devours me, for everything I have done and have said. I can’t get the absolution of these things… I can’t and I won’t.

I am asking for a favor from the world. Why is it so hard to kill me?

0

Lucky 13

November 25th, 2014by impossible_girl

Happily, there are only thirteen days until the end of my settlement, and my psychiatrist has given the green light for me to monitor my own medications. “You aren’t on anything that will kill you if you overdose.”

Challenge accepted. Don’t worry, my honorary big brother. Don’t fret, my small town country boy. A large burden will soon be gone from your lives. 125 pounds of burden, I’d even say.

4

Dream

November 25th, 2014by Im Immortal

I must’ve been on vacation or maybe i moved somewhere else because I was sitting in a real fancy casino just playing some card game

(don’t remember what game i was playing in particular)

 

but anyway these terrorists stormed the casino & they held everyone up

 

so we were all sitting there & they were just walking around at 1st with their gun’s

 

then one of them takes a pic of himself with his phone he has a gun to someone’s head at the table @my 10 & after he’s done that the other’s just seem to disappear so then he wait’s a few seconds & pull’s the trigger then he starts …

3

Empty Cold Dark and Hollow

November 25th, 2014by DarkestRaven

A constant question I ask.. How did I get here? How did I get to this empty dark place? A few ppl have said that I am not to blame for my past. But what if I fought harder to prevent all this torture I have now? What if I could’ve prevented the nightmares and seeing his face feeling his hands and his breath. Smelling his disgusting sweat and hearing his disturbing voice? What if I am the one to blame? I feel as though he shouldn’t get away with all he did while I sit and remember every last thing.. Yet he has no …

2

i want to die before the year is out -

November 25th, 2014by nhturtle

So I have done everything I can to try and turn my life around and it just seems all I do is make it worse.  I am now homeless, and jobless.  My own family is basically not wanting to help me anymore – and I barely have any friends.

I will die by the end of the year and I am researching how to do it – I hate this world.   People keep saying God has a plan for you – Well my name isn’t Job okay – I just feel I must have done something really horrible in my life to have my life be …

1

I should leave but i can’t.

November 25th, 2014by alice123

I really want to let him go but i cannot it has been two miserable years filled with heart brake and tragedy. I love him yes i do with all my heart but he’s a monster that made me into a mentally insane person. Your probably wondering what the hell I’m talking about well heres my story.
He’s my boyfriend and well we have been together for two years now almost three I’m 17. at first things were nice and filled with butterflies and rainbows but then, but then i saw the monster that was hiding behind that gentle warm smile. You know i used …

4

Overcoming Incest

November 25th, 2014by honeyblood

It took 18 years to remember

You want five to forget

 

Forget about it.

I never thought I could survive to college. I never saw myself in a dorm. I never saw friends.

 

But I did. I didn’t live in a dorm. I rented a two-bedroom house with a fenced yard for my two adopted dogs. I went to class. It’s my fifth year in school, and yeah my past caught up to me, and yeah I had a few slip-ups, but I am going to graduate in May with honors- a GPA above 3.0.

So why?

Why do I want to die now?

Of all times, places, people, memories, why now?

 

I …

0

November 25th, 2014by BuscettiByGianna

Well. I’m afraid I’m going to lose a friend to suicide, no matter how hard I tried to make him see otherwise. It’s ultimately his choice. And I’m not gonna force him to change. But the more I think about why I’m still here myself, is I just don’t have the damn luxury to commit suicide like some of the lucky people do. I just don’t have the luxury. I have too many people to take care of. And if I didn’t have one scrap of love for them, then I’d say fuck off and then hang myself like I always think about. But I …

13

Forgive my ignorance

November 25th, 2014by jizmhead

W.T.F. is meant by “troll”

2

How do you feel about those who say they want to help?

November 25th, 2014by idkahs

I feel like I’m crossing the point of thinking about death to making it happen.  So I started thinking about my attempts to make things better, many times have I seen therapists, doctors support workers etc.  I’ve always felt these people to very dishonest, good intentions, bad methods.  The most recent person I worked with was titled a social inclusion officer I think.  I spoke with them a few times before I reached the point where I couldn’t trust them.  They always say things like “things will get better” and “you’re a good person”.

 

I can’t help but think, I’ve just met you, I’m a complete …

1

emptyness

November 25th, 2014by kigegold

I feel empty. tried to kill my self twice, and currently not suicidal but lacking. lacking the will to live, lacking the will to get up lacking the will to sleep to eat, to go outside lacking the will to do anything.
my favorite activities. . . . no longer seem to interest me. I always loved stories. so i would take almost weekly trips t the movie theater, it was nice haven’t been there in 3 months. I’m a geek i read comic books, haven’t read any since summer. I enjoyed my friends, haven’t talked to any of them in over two weeks. I am …

0

Not sure if I’m wanted to be heard

November 25th, 2014by Luke_Pettinger

I have many times considered going mute or at least try to avoid talking all together. It seems that not really anyone wants me or wishes to just accept me. I try acting hyper and energetic at time to gain that attention but I still feel that people would rather forget me. I though try to act quiet and wise but it doesnt counter the random fool people mistake me for. I can’t blame them, and I feel that I’m never able to get out of what I am. I feel left out. My goal is to become remembered long after I’ve died but I …

0

Todays Thoughts

November 25th, 2014by FeelingFunny

Life has lost its flavor, so I’ll cut out my tounge to spite my taste.

4

It’s always on my mind…

November 25th, 2014by anotherusername

A family member and two celebrities killed themselves this year. We know Robin Williams, but another is a well-known innovator in the veterinarian world (Sophia Yin). I relate to Sophia the most.

People around me tell me that I’m amazing and can’t believe what I’m accomplishing; I’m such a good friend; I’m an amazing animal trainer. They confide in me that they are ultra depressed. One family member is in/out of a mental ward. My mother and father are now gone; my brother doesn’t keep in touch. I contacted someone who once loved me (I think?) but who always hurt me…I’m forgettable or ignorable or… Why …