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I need help going through with it, I don’t want to go on anymore this is 100% my decision, please don’t say ‘don’t go through with it’ or ‘think of your family’ that’s not fair, also this is basically inevitable I’ve postponed this so many times and realized it’s not going away so how can I convince myself to do it? Also me not being able to go through with it has nothing to do with not wanting to do it, it’s just instincts.
It’s 0130 when I am writing this, so the first thing that I wanted to share with you is that I have huge problems with sleep, because I worry so much. About every single thing.
i can’t feel happiness in life anymore, the only exception is when I am with my boyfriend. But we are in a long term relationship, so I can’t even see him very often. He is the only person I really trust and feel safe with. He is also the reason why i am still alive – because I would not want him to be sad when I die.
But recently I started thinking that he will be happier without me and it scares me now. I feel like such a loser. Everybody seems to be so happy and capable of enjoying small things in life. I have a good-ish job and stable salary. It’s not much, but it’s enough to cover basic …
Welcome again tonight!
in every silence moment of desire.
I don t wan to cooparate with you anymore.
Cause ı simply realize that you are nothing but,
I am perfect than your thought.
Dear Pain, go and fuck yourself . Please.
It’s just getting harder and harder to pretend that I’m happy. I don’t want people to act differently around me if they know I secretly wish I were dead….and I don’t feel happiness much anymore. I have terrible social anxiety and it makes me want to disappear from everyone.
Before, when I was in school or worked in the public it was easier to pretend I was happy. Now things are different and I can’t hide it from the people I’m close to anymore. If they know, I’ll lose them. They’ll be different around me, it’s happened before.
I am broke, my parents are broke. I stutter quite badly, thus no one wants to give me a job. I have social anxiety which makes me extremely awkward at times (another reason why I can’t get a job). Since I graduated I only have one real life friend. All the friends I had in college live miles away. I am ugly – almost impossible to get a girlfriend when you’re ugly and you stutter……..
I’m trying to fix things but what’s the point anyway? To work somewhere for most your life and buy things and watch movies/tv shows. Perhaps go somewhere nice for two weeks a year. At least if you are good looking you can sleep with some beautiful people. If you can actually talk, you can show people who you are, be charismatic.
I can’t even say FUCK YOU to the world and be myself. My anxiety kicks in and I start to tremble, …
Life seems so pointless.You’re born, you go to school, get a job then get old and die.Why does life have to be so meaningless and short-lived.If life is so short what’s the point of even living if it’s only to enjoy the little time you have.Sure I may just be 14 but time goes by fast and soon I’ll be out of high school and trying to get a job.I just don’t see the point anymore.Even if I didn’t kill myself I would die regardless
Anyone heard from him, he’s an old member, last posted arround this time last year (at least using that alias anyway) I know he had what he needed to go, i just want to know if he went or not.