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Considering Ending It All

Considering Ending It All

July 30th, 2014by SilverGoddess914

So I am just done.  Done with life, done with daily strife, just done.  This morning I went out to my car, ready to start a fresh new day at work.  I get there and start my car.  Smoke starts pouring out of the front and back of the car and it won’t move.   I end up having to call a tow truck to come get my car and calling out of work since I had no car to get into work with.   And I had no PTO.   So now I am worried about losing my job.   I take my car …

4

The search for a point

July 30th, 2014by RaM1698

Who am I?

I am close to 30, I am employed, I am appreciated at work, I love my mother, I have a somewhat understandable relationship with my father, I have 8 brothers and sisters, I have some friends, I had girlfriends in the past, I have a future.

From the age of 15 I felt weary of life, having a photographic memory and an IQ of 155, I know I can be whoever I want and do whatever I want. I excel in everything I put my mind to, but at the end of the day the only thing I wish for is to put a …

2

Am I feeling better?

July 30th, 2014by drops

I think that I am feeling better. Or am I? I am so used to telling psychologists about my life, but I haven’t really listened to my own words. Could this actually be my reality? Seems like a weird and sad movie, really. I’m going to try to keep this short. EDIT: Turned out to be longer than expected…

I’ve had OCD for like forever, which probably is harder than I realize. I lost my best friend when I was 8 years old when a tsunami hit Thailand, my father has been drinking way too much for as long as I can remember, my mother has …

5

no other option

July 30th, 2014by 04825413

I feel cornered.
The past six years of my life, I’ve been telling myself it will get better. My friends, my family, the various therapists I’ve been to, they all say the same thing: it will get better.
But now that I’m here, I realize it’s not going to get better. I’m going to be crippled by this black hole in my mind for the rest of my life. There’s no cure. I’m not interested in leading a life marked by this strange, hellish pain. I’m too tired to put up with it anymore. As much as I want to love my life, there’s simply no fight …

1

Hope and Despair co-exist for me

July 30th, 2014by Lonely

I have been looking for a place to share my frustration with people who can understand me and help me come out of my depression.

Here goes my story-

I was in college when I met a guy and fell in love with him so deeply that I had to marry him at any cost. I always believed he loved me as much as I did. I had an amazing college life with my life revolving only around him. Seldom did he papmper me, he never said a “I love You” to me on face but still i always believed he loved me the most in this world. …

2

Just a bland rant

July 30th, 2014by maggiemac

I’m a basic white girl who cuts herself. Or rather, I did. Ever since I got put on zoloft in January after my parents found out I sh’d, my life has steadily improved and I have strengthened my relationships with friends and even my family. I no longer wallow in my own sadness or make suicide plans.

I miss it. I miss being depressed so much. I don’t know why; I never got any special attention while I was down in the dumps and I barely had any friends. I consider myself happiest when I’m unhappy. It’s stupid and ridiculous and feels selfish. But I just …

2

A smile that meant nothing

July 30th, 2014by Redneck22

I would smile to friends and family for the longest time. I would smile like nothing was wrong to keep people away from asking whats wrong.  I kept that smile up for the people who thought my life was perfect. Nobody knew the pain N suffering I had to go through to get to where I am now. I’ve walked a thin line from never getting caught to hey what happens if I get caught.  During that time I was N still am suffering from PTSD, anxiety,  panic attacks,  and mood disorder. I watched a family member do things to me that I should

1

Where I come from

July 30th, 2014by Thatothersmightlive

Finally a site where I can be honest and tell the truth. So where did I come from? From about age 13 or so under the influence of some great adult leaders I got into helping people especially in the area of health care.

Whether it was in my early age with the first aid and CPR card, until the 30 years that I’ve been licensed as a paramedic and respiratory therapist I did my best for everyone. I don’t know if it was the adrenaline rush or just the pure joy of seeing someone get better or comforted at their time of death I was …

3

Hand me down the noose.

July 30th, 2014by Color Me Pretty

I’ll be moving in two weeks. I’ll be moving miles away from the place I only knew as home, my friends, my boyfriend, my family. We have to move though, and I know I can’t do anything to stop that. All of the “friends” I told didn’t care, they responded with texts like “Oh.” “That sucks,”. I don’t need someone crying for me, but it’d be nice to know someone cared. We’re moving to my moms’ boyfriends house.  He’s a real asshole and I have a hard time making friends. This new state and school will take alot out of me, and i’m afraid. I …

0

entry from my Diary..

July 30th, 2014by CrimsonDream

Being Alone In Bliss

You know the first thing i thought of when i held the household cleaner. Drink It. End it now. Finish it off. The first thing i thought of when i opened the cabinet above the sink, grab a razor; end it. I want to die so bad all i do is fuck things up. All i do is cause trouble and pain. Idk if anyone knows how i’m feeling right now. I want to leave my body. I want no use of my soul. I want to be dead. I’m in my closet crying alone. No one knows

1

saved

July 30th, 2014by LydiaCoon

Last year I would cut my self every chance I got. My friends, Hunter and Laura, were the first to notice. The keeper telling me to stop but I continued. Then my teacher, Ms.Ring sent me up to my school’s conciler. She told me all the reasons why I should live. I have a brother, a sister, and so many friends. When ask me why I wanted to die. I told her about how I get called so many names, and how everyone says I get my clothing at Walmart and the doller store. Then when I go home I get called more names like …

3

Oh life.

July 30th, 2014by rainbow123

Being 17 is such a crap age, so full of anger and hate towards everyone. People always ask me why i’m so angry, i can never explain why because i don’t know where all my anger came from. I blame my parents!

I’m have no idea what i want to say here, all i know is that i wanna write stuff down because i’m sick of making the most important person in my life feel like he has to help me deal with my past and problems, it’s not fair on him!

Anyway, I think i’m just going to list a  bunch of things from my past …

0

I HATE YOU GOD

July 30th, 2014by tctc

I HATE YOU GOD
I HATE YOU GOD
I HATE YOU GOD
I HATE YOU GOD
I HATE YOU GOD

I HATE YOU.

4

NAKED AND EXPOSED.

July 30th, 2014by tctc

My mask is off! The image I’ve so painfully crafted has been destroyed! Now everyone knows the truth. I feel exposed and naked; it’s as if everyone can see through me AND I AM SO SCARED I AM SO SCARED SO AFRAID I DON’T EVEN KNOW WHAT I AM SO ASHAMED OF

5

my suicide letter

July 30th, 2014by endlesstearss

Im just done. I cannot take this anymore. I can no longer handle being shoved around or not having anyone there for me. Its just to overwhelming, to stressful, to depressing. I feel so alone. Nothing matters. Numbness is my bestfriend. Im just not enough to hold up all this weight. No one would see this coming. I never showed a sign of hurt when they called me those names. Saying i looked aneroxic and that no one likes me. Really they just pushed it and hid it furthet and further deep down inside of me. But one human being can only take so much. …

1

something ill never understand.

July 30th, 2014by Procel

Why do people insist on celebrating the day you were pulled, kicking and screaming out of your mother, so much so that they do it every year. Why do we have to celebrate another year alive. Another year of underachieving and mistakes. Instead of moving forward with life i go backwards since last year. And this year its worse. Another year… Fuck it. Promised i wouldn’t ever see this birthday. Another promise gone…

2

hi

July 30th, 2014by cassie janssen

hi i guess , im new here , i guess im will tell you my story , sorry if this gets boring. im here because i needed something to let out everything thats bottled up in side of me . i dont have a sad story and people may think that why do i do this because i havent gone through enough , i havent been bullied or abused or any strong like that. ive been self harming for about 1 and a half years , the reason is because im in love , i cant have him , he is my best friend ,

0

Teachers…

July 30th, 2014by sadspectralgiraffe

thanks for the blank post opera mini

4

Shoegaze O.D.

July 30th, 2014by misanthrope

A child alive,happy

A beautiful child to love

A child corrupt,in tiny increments

What made her trample childhood

She tore it from herself ,it was constricting

She threw it away,then came back to burn it

Be Gone forever,for no good reason

She broke their hearts,she broke the window

She fled their eyes,their words,their love

She cut herself on the shattered glass,stepping through

The first cut of thousands to come,she glanced back

Her childhood still smouldering ruin,she ran into night

Trailing disregard ,reckless abandonment

Her first victim,her favorite victim

Herself

 

 

4

A vagrant in my own slice of heaven.

July 30th, 2014by Shephard

One foot in front of the other as we used to say, something that never got old as we hoofed it over yet another steep incline, through rolling pastures and starlit nights. The same can be said for suburban settings, with their smog-ridden skies, deranged drivers and endless noise pollution. I’d walk through it all – regardless of season, weather or terrain, I’d carry my rucksack of oddities and walk until my legs literally fell off.

Part of my heritage derives from a certain sub-tribe who are famous for being “walkers of the land” and never ones to shy away from a trek that, by …