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0

Am i alone

June 30th, 2016by Monster

Alive
Its such a complicated word
So painful and harsh
Yet peaceful
And happy
Babies are alive
Or they are born dead

Death
Another complicated word
Does it hurt
Or is it a numb feeling
Is there anything afterwards
Or is there nothing

Im writing this in my bathroom
Hiding in the tub
Why am i hiding?
Im hiding from the silver painbrush tht mocks me day in and day out
Im hiding from the pills that laugh at me in the medicine cabinet
Because im so close to breaking down
Im so close to giving in
Im a parasite
A disease
I have no place here
So why am i still around
Is it cuz im scared of death
Or cuz im scared of hurting people
Either way
Im growing …

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0

Best In The World 5 Year anniversary

June 30th, 2016by deadmanliving(hopefullyhopeful)

3 days ago was the actual anniversary. For those who have know idea who this guy is. His name is Phillip Jack Brooks better known as CM Punk. He was a wrestler he may (probably will) be knocked out in a few months as a MMA fighter but its this promo that makes him significant. You see he did something very few people ever get to do. He spoke his mind and was rewarded with everything he ever deserved. He got(sometimes deservedly) a lot of bs before and after this moment but its inspiring in a way. I didnt even watch wrestling at the time …

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0

the only precious person in this world

June 30th, 2016by Mad-eye

dont you feel like your heart always aches after a while of being physically isolated, like someone is stabbing it..im sure crying will ensue.

Let me pour my heart on this post:

Every hurt , every reminder that no one is here will always ring in my head

But the light will shine in my darkness that cant be shone

Even if you bring a thousand men  with flashlights, it shall never be extinguished

The flowers bloomed outside, the cement creaked inside

The people laughed outside, he lay hurt inside..

 

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35

Poll

June 30th, 2016by whiskered-fish

I can’t decide which is preferable, so I’ve decided to ask you all.

Would you rather endure the numb, “dead inside” sort of depression, or the emotional hurricane sort of depression? Which would you rather have to live with, and why?

I’ve personally lived with both, and every time I’m experiencing one, I long for the other. It’s kind of like how in December, I pray for the warm weather of August, and once August rolls around I’m yearning for the cold again.

I frustrate myself very much.

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2

Still Trying

June 30th, 2016by rich51bruhh

My thoughts, my dreams, my loneliness, my past; they’re all going to kill me one day.

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35

Captains Log stardate 20160630

June 30th, 2016by Alan Ominous

The grass is dead….
Roof is damaged…
Attics full of mold…
Plumbing leaks…
Electrical system shorted….
Walls are weathered and worn….
Foundation is weak and crumbling….

I’m not sure she can withstand another thunderstorm. Not to mention another hurricane. Yeah, I reckon it’s time to cut my losses and move. Yet I’m so hesitant. Sure there’s the enticement of home shopping. Moving in is full of excitement. Though I’m wise enough to expect to find faults. Loose screws here and there. Why, though, why so hesitant to move. Probably because I’ve adapted. I know where to place buckets when it rains, which electrical sockets poke me, which walls are drafty when it’s …

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4

The end to hurt lies in hurt.

June 30th, 2016by Mad-eye

We must hurt. My end is coming, i can taste it. i completely withdraw from people now but in a different way, its almost like im not afraid of their judgement anymore because im hurting from my scars and im not thinking anything but how this moment is fading away..

I know im wrong. i know im a failure without help from others. but i refuse help from people who are like me. I hate myself deeply, and avoid all interactions. People try to talk to me and often ask me why im so down and have my hoodie on, my reply is always…i dont know.. …

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22

Your turn

June 30th, 2016by mysteriousvisitor

So I have two questions, both concerning what brings a person a sense of comfort and peace:

For those of you who have any sort of spiritual, religious, or spiritual-philosophical beliefs, how have they helped you? And by help I mean in any way that’s even remotely related to the purpose of this forum.

Before I ask my second question I want to be very clear: please do not talk about specific exit plans. I do not want to encourage anyone to break the rules. With that disclaimer:

For anyone who has their plan ready to go, does it provide comfort knowing it’s there for you, even if …

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1

dredging up the past

June 30th, 2016by Alan Ominous

This post is in reference to the conversation I partook in last night.

Nuff said.

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0

kamehameha

June 30th, 2016by boneyard

so. i guess, if i’m totally honest, what i want is sympathy. yknow? after so many therapists and psychiatrists and doctors and nurses being clinical, treating this all like it’s normal because they think it makes me feel better, i’m really tired. i once told a cousin of mine that i’d purposefully burnt myself and i regretted it once it started to blister, she said “oh, you poor thing!” i think about that a lot. we weren’t even sitting near each other, but all it took was for her, who was going through something similar, say something small, for once treat me like the kid that …

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4

New here an feeling sad and low

June 30th, 2016by Misstfie

I just wanted to say hello. I have been reading posts for the last couple of hours and am over my crisis point. Trouble is just dying sometimes seems so easy.

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1

Still In Hell And Going No Where Fast

June 30th, 2016by BrokenAngel8

Well I still have the mark on my right eye that i mentioned in my last post.  My depression has hit rock bottom and so has my self harming. Gotten to the point that I actually can not leave my bedroom in the morning with out putting on make up to cover it up. Otherwise people start questioning or snickering behind my back. But thats nothing new.

My stomach has been killing me lately due to the stress and  me not being on my bc meds ( long story). Causing severe cramps and pains randomly through out the day. My appetite has also officially gone to …

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1

Being Followed

June 30th, 2016by JiminyCrispies

I see my therapist at 9AM tomorrow morning. Despite multiple attempts to go alone, my mum is insistent someone goes with me and do my Nan is coming along. Fun.

I had to walk my brother to school today (50 minutes there and back), and on the way home two men were following me. I ran across main roads while traffic was still coming, not caring about possibly getting hit by an oncoming car. I got home and locked everywhere up, not allowing the dogs out for 2 hours, and I hid in the kitchen behind the breakfast bar.

After 2 hours of panicking and crying over …

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1

one year

June 30th, 2016by bluegirl.2000

It’s been a while since i have been on this site but it helped me. It has been almost a year since i have self harmed and i hadn’t even realised and almost that same amount of time since i wanted to commit suicide. ive been making new friends that have helped me, and my old ones that didnt help dont effect me anymore. i have become a stronger person and am now an aunt to a beautiful baby girl. i am happy that i was able to see her and that i will be able to shape her into an amazing and kind person. …

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1

Lost In Myself

June 30th, 2016by misundastood

I really have no idea what is wrong with me! im extremely suicidal. im lost. i cant find myself. i wrote a poem about my past. this is my first time on here. i struggle a lot. i want to share my poem.

You know how it feels when someone betrays you? The bursting anger. The heat you feel when tears are about to fall. The lump in your throat when you want to scream? I feel that. I’m petrified to move. To speak. To breathe. I only feel safe here. I’m so tired of being hurt. Of being left behind. Playing with my emotions like …

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3

A little Nirvana to brighten everyones day

June 30th, 2016by Konig Laconic

“Come as you Are”
Nirvana
“Nevermind”
1991

I love Kurt Cobain. ^_^

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24

IF…

June 30th, 2016by Escalado

If you had a remote box in your hand right now that said, just directly above a button-

 

“For human Extinction, push me”

 

…and you knew that by doing so it WOULD wipe the lot of us out in a nice, quick and pain free manner-

 

Would you do it ? It would be selfish, of course it would, but could you do it ? I think i’d have to be at at my very lowest, tbh.  But there again, who’s gonna complain ?

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13

Whats up guys

June 30th, 2016by Mad-eye

how is your day going? whats on your mind? on my mind right now is to make another scar with this beautiful knife i bought lately.

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12

Any antinatalists here?

June 30th, 2016by jadedkeizy

I am just curious, are there any Antinatalists here? How did you arrive at the Antinatalist position?

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5

Why do I miss them?

June 30th, 2016by shatterediris

Welp I am starting to miss some of the people from my Spanish class that concluded a few weeks ago…. I have known some of them for close to 2 years as they’ve done all but like on quarter of the classes with me…. I never got that close to them, kind of spoke to a few of them in passing every now and then…. But I was too scared to become closer to any of them and forge a lasting relationship. So now I’m starting to realize that I will never see any of them again…. I hate that fact. I didn’t even go …

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