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Does anyone have any knowledge of effectiveness of phenobarbitone (aka phenobarbital). Apparently it can be readily procured in India but I wanted to  know if it is as effective as nembutal.    



June 29th, 2015by Costy

Hello guys. I want to say goodbye.. I love you all really. After I enter the psychology college, I think I am going to do it. You are all amazing people, kills, worthless loser(rip maybe), sammi, xirizo,nihilism, salt, and the list can continue. I just feel like, even if I become like Dan Bilzerian , that won’t feel the gasp in my soul. I just, I just love you guys, I am a loser, you don’t have to be like me..find something that’s worth living for even if that’s impossible…


Yours sincerly,



June 29th, 2015by Nihilism000

This morning, early of course, I don’t get much sleep anymore, at least I thought, left me in the dust. I told her about my depression and how sometimes I feel suicidal..I thought it would help opening up to someone. But it completely blew up in my face. I’m not sad about it, it’s expected isn’t it. She said that I was crazy and needed help..perhaps I do. I wasn’t asking for her pity, I don’t need pity, just her understanding and support you know. I see it as if she acted like that when I tried to open up to her, she was obviously …


Physics, Nihilism, injustice, crack, alcohol, baseball, should we really help people??? Won’t they just have a more exaggerated experience of the human condition?

June 29th, 2015by favmove

35 year old white male….educated, athletic, comedic, drug addict, truth searcher, lazy, the average person would say I have so much to offer…..I see there is no purpose, but I know many are in pain….., I really want to know if people who really believe they are happy have a gene switched on that allows them to believe their own lies, somehow my father understands all of this but is content with life…..playing golf and gambling….I honestly don’t know how he does it, I guess I am afraid to die since I have been suicidal since I was 10. I can make anyone laugh, make …



June 29th, 2015by Hjerteblomst

No i am not religious.
so why doesn’t God try to end all this suffering in the world? Why????



June 29th, 2015by ashley

I wish I didn’t tell my mom about how I self harmed, because I’m really feeling like I need to again. I get that I don’t actually need to the way I need water or food, but it sure feels the same fucking way right now.


1st time opening my feelings

June 29th, 2015by ff.tale

I’m so very tired of things going wrong on my life. It feels like whatever I start to do results for a few moments like I’m reaching my goals and then all of a sudden everything’s wrecked, ruined, destroyed with no possibility of keeping anything good from the journey, because most of all the objects of my passion breaks and only the bad things last. And I don’t want to say goodbye to anything anymore, I am the kind of people that love intensily and keep attached to feelings, like a drug addict I want to live strong feelings, to feell alive, to forget the …


Please god let these innocent people forgive me at the end of the night

June 29th, 2015by Now22andahalf

Im horrible Im a fucking bitch,When im in public I act like a wretched bitch,I make faces and im rude and have somehow some way (probably through using crystal meth) mastered the art of “igorning” people without even saying a word Please forgive Im horrible and I have problems I have fucking problems

I hate my life
Im fucked up,Im wrong
world im sorry im fucking horrible dude


So Hard Not to Slosh Around in Self-pity

June 29th, 2015by almo lothar

I’m about to turn 64.

I worked hard through my professional life to put my son, daughter and nephew through good schools and university and my wife through law school. In 1995, I started my own business in California.

I had some welcome success, putting aside a comfortable nest egg which I thought would carry me through however much time I had left. I was wrong. All the nest egg did was attract the attention of circling sharks.

Beginning in 2008, I made some business decisions which, over the course of the next five years, would cost me virtually everything. A former partner, my personal attorney and an …


Suicidal again

June 29th, 2015by schizophrenia 222

It’s been a few months since ive wanted to commit suicide and been depressed and each time it happens or cycles i feel closer and more at peace with going through with it just have to be nice about it and fix my funeral expenses. When it happens i wont be mucking around i will down a few downers down some alcohol and choose my method which should be pretty peaceful.

I came to this world with lots of drive and motivation and somewhere along the line got caught up with the wrong crowed from school and got caught up in drugs and alcohol. 10 …


Should I do it?

June 29th, 2015by hopeisafourletterword

Being here.. doesn’t seem worth it anymore. I don’t even have that many problems compared to other people but i just don’t see the point in me being here. i’m not interesting, i have nothing special to contribute. i hate people and i hate this world. it’s all going down so i might as well go down with it. i didn’t ask to be born, why is it my fault if i’ve just had enough of this life?


things that may be needed

June 29th, 2015by cathy arsis

I remember leaving my soul

I’d forgotten that I needed it to


But maybe when I die

I’ll just grab it real quick

And come right back

I remember losing my mind

I’d forgotten that I needed it

To think and maybe to keep me alive

I can’t believe I’vegot this far

With a head so empty

I. Remember losing my faith

I forgot I needed God like a big brother

But maybe when I die

I will die escaping

I will die returning to the fold


June 29th, 2015by cathy arsis

I think about death. I think about it all the time. I wonder what it would be like if death wasn’t just a state of being, but an actual being, and what I would say if I could sit down and talk to it. Why do you come around when you’re not wanted? Why won’t you come round when u are desperately needed? Do you have a 800 number or a help desk. Why the fuck not? Because I am this great,


Mass of blood and stone

And no emotion that’s worth having

Has settled in my bones

My heart is an autoclave



I love you, please don’t hurt me.

June 29th, 2015by hellblau

Please don’t break my heart.



June 28th, 2015by coolworld187

For a person that is already struggling and have been struggling for years there  to see those is alot of extra hurt and pain when those ones closes to You don’t really try to help support or care so You continue to EXPERIENCE A LIFE FULL SORROW AND DISPAIR THAT IS PLACED ON YOU IN THE FORM OF MENTAL ILLNESS!  Which through My Wife And Two Daughter’s Eyes, Which By The Way, Believe In Christ Jesus, Plan And Simple That Their Husband And Father is just “CRAZY!”  How fun and rewarding it is to see those closes to You are more than Willing To Help


suicide by drowning

June 28th, 2015by bewildered

i coudn’t manage it. all I did was cough and sputter. i guess i’ll have to think of an easier way


Facing My Demons. Literally.

June 28th, 2015by Lisa Marie

In my previous post (my first) I gave my whole story. And…I know I’m committing suicide by overdose.  It’s just, the timing is the question. Well…I’m at a family friends house watching their pets while their away for a while. And last night I was in their master bathroom looking for nail clippers because part of my nail got ripped off and I needed to trim it down. In this search I found vials of severe pain medication. One of the vials was opened and some taken out of it. I tried to fight my internal demons, and won…for only a few hours. I used 5 units, or roughly 1/10th of …


Expiration date nearing

June 28th, 2015by Solja

To put it bluntly I am 40 yrs old, apparently an attractive and intelligent guy, cultured and well traveled. Been on too many dates to count over the past 2 years but have lost interest in meaningless sex and meaningless relationships, the thought of continuing on this course for another 20 years just brings me to my knees in absolute pain and hopelessness. The people around me have their own problems and wouldn’t want to hear about my bullshit pain so obviously I can’t open up and tell anyone how bad it has gotten without burdening them or being called mentally ill. What I don’t …


Am I Crazy?

June 28th, 2015by zombiedoctor

So let me just throw this out there.
I’m not suicidal but I have a chronic and, apparently, incurable illness that over the last 8 years has lowered my quality of life to almost comically unbearable levels. There are certainly days when I think, “so how long do you think you can endure this before jumping out of a fucking window?”
Let’s get real here – if you were an American being held prisoner by ISIS (or, for that matter, a suspected Muslim terrorist being held at a black site by the CIA) and tortured sadistically and de-humanized every day and was reasonably sure that this would …


I lost her

June 28th, 2015by sydsilvey

I knew my best friend since the 1st grade, I instantlly knew we were going to be best friends. We’ve done everything together up intill the 6th grade, we got put on different teams and we kinda just lost our bond, i tried to make is work but it felt like she didn’t want to be friends anymore so I started hanging out with other people and I asked her why she doesn’t want to be friends anymore and she said because I hang out with other people more than her. Around the begining of the year I started getting depressed and suicidal thoughts and …