i broke… Â i cut for the first time tonight. but it never hurt. it felt good. it felt so damn good. im relieved…. i thought it would hurt but it never did. it was soo good. i cant express that enough. im so glad i finally have a way away from things.
well winter has arrived rather abruptly and there is no way in hell im gonna make it through the holidays. i wanted to hold out a little longer like maybe after new years but fuck that. still i am heartbroken about my mother having to deal with this. she has health issues of her own and is getting into her old age. actually im worried about my whole family as well. i have this disease, call it a curse “bipolar”. i inherited it. when i was a kid people thought i was some sort of demon with the mania that i exhibited. idk…. so tomorrow […]
I promised my younger sisters I would take them swimming on Thursday. That means I have to wear a swimsuit which means I can’t have fresh cuts on my leg. I really miss the days of being able to wear what I want when I want without worrying about covering scars and cuts. I just want to feel the pain so badly, but I have to wait. I don’t even know if I’m going to make it.
By Maya Angelou
Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I’m not cute or built to suit a fashion model’s size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I’m telling lies.
I say,
It’s in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I’m a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That’s me.
I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It’s the fire in my eyes,
This is part of my the short story I wrote for my Extension 2 English subject this year, and I really like it, so I thought I might share this little bit (:
When I saw Aldora’s name beneath mine on the cast list tacked to the wall, I felt both elation and dread. Who was this young beauty who had at first seemed so timid and bold, but now appeared vacant enveloped in a mist-like aura of danger and mystery.
“Gabriel,†she had whispered to me as she read her name, “we’re performing together!†I saw her innocence shine through her eyes, but beneath it, […]
I’ve hand written my story, I have quite a large one that I’m not yet ready to share due to the fact that I believe my problems are minor compared to others and I don’t want to feel like a cry for attention. However, I would like to share something I am sick of. I am sick of people saying suicidal terms like a joke. I’m sick of hearing “her class just makes me want to kill myself” or the use of making the ‘shoot myself’ gesture because you’re tired or don’t feel like doing school work. So many people are actually dealing with suicidal […]
Is there any way on how to be a good writer?
well.. sometimes I have things on my mind that I really can’t just blurt out to anyone.
anyways, I just wanna be a better person, find someone really cool, get married, and then just be the best and give the best that I can give. I don’t want to kill myself, so many people love me it’s just not fair. so I just gotta keep my head up.
Every time I post something on here, whether a post or a comment, I feel super annoying and like to one really wants me on here…I’m kind of awkward…so…that’s how I feel on a daily basis. like I’m super annoying and I cant stop…then I push everyone away…
in my opion of why there is so many speceies of life here but never any proof of any god in a dyeing world,is easy to understand. some people think if life was created then there must be a god on earth that some way lnfluences our lives. first of all there was never any god.what there was at the very begining of time was some thing that had a ability to create the begining of all the diferent species and reality other wise known as mother nature was also created.why the creations were made and the reality made the way it is,l dont have […]
No matter how many people I hang out with, no matter how much memories they give me, at the end of the day I still return to my room and realize how empty my life is. No matter how many people I know and am acquainted with,no matter how many friends I have, I am still alone.
I’m tired.
tired of existing. I feel like I am a zombie. Like my life has no purpose.
is there a god? I don’t know. Actually, I do. I believe there is a god, but I don’t know who he/she is.
I’m tired.
tired of not being good enough. Of trying my hardest to achieve and failing again and again.
im tired.
Tired of watching the same thing happen around me over and over again without being able to do anything about it.
I feel like I’m screaming and no one can hear me.
like I’m behind a pane of glass, and while I can see everyone, they can only see the outside […]
hello, my name is javi. my kik name is javiersalvo. you can talk to me about anything, u can ask me for advice or just complain and get shit off your chest.
10 years ago I was released from being sexually abused for two years.
My mother would work nights, and my older brother was asleep. He always was a heavy sleeper.
The predator took in me in the middle of the night to keep his “needs” at rest.
From ages 3-5 I was a prisoner. I was held against my will in a bed with my mother’s boyfriend at the time.
What a sick, twisted game.
He would rape his daughter next to me. Both of us looking at each other with alert eyes screaming “Help!”
There was no saving us. There was no chance at leaving. The only thing to comfort […]
I am – please excuse my language – absolutely shitting myself right now.
I’m tossing around the idea of hacking at my arm vertically tonight – I did last night, though the cuts weren’t deep enough for my liking, or the purpose, should I say? Sitting here, right now, I’m am literally smiling just thinking about it.
I’ll look to my arm and it’ll screams at me to cut it.
I’ll look to the blade and it’ll screams at me to use it.
I’ll look it the mirror and my reflection will scream at me to do it.
And so, I’ll look for a reason not to – any reason. But […]
dear R,
so, i know I’m about to make things even worse between us and i’m sorry that i’m being blunt but its the only way ik how to be. and i need to say this because its been bothering me and i feel like if i say this then i’ll be able to get over u. because i’m not good at this, i’ve never had the chance to be good at this. but we could have made it work. we could have gotten over the awkwardness. if we had hung out one on one then we could have gotten to know each other and been […]
I DONT GIVE A FUCKING SHIT ANYMORE. I am done with everyone! Some people are so fucking hypocritical. Take my “best friend”. Apparently for example. She is a slut. If I did half the things she did she would be all bitchy but no. If she does it it’s ok. I’m sick of being played around so hurt innocent people becasue of it. I used to be so happy. Now I Â can’t fucking take it. I do stuff even I cant explain and there’s no one here to help. Everyone has their own life to deal with but I can’t deal any longer. I can’t […]
well the fridge is empty and i should probably get some food but I’m not I’m going to the store to get a fifth of vodka a fifth of whiskey and a bag of disposable bic razors and a pack of Marlboro red 100s tonight will be interesting
I do not want to hurt people. But I do I do I do….
Great philosophers have told me that one isn’t good because of it’s words but one is good because it’s actions. (not a native English speaker, so do ou use it or what? Ignore this, just wanted to make sure I’m not wrong) Therefore I’m not good at all.
I’m a heatbreaker.
Because my heart belongs to some one else no one can have me now.
And You might say that this post is not supposed to be in suicidepoject but i honestly feel suicidal because I hurt people. I know how […]
I’ve stopped caring and so has everyone else. I’m struggling to find a reason to keep living this awful life, it’s not like I’ll go far in life anyways. Everyone dies eventually, why can’t I just make it happen for myself?