I have been threw a lot in my life some could say my life has been a struggle but not as bad as some have had it but bad enough. As I write this and I think about how good my life is going  at the current moment, I ponder how long until this current bout of happiness will last. I see so many people with smiles on there face and I wonder are they truly happy or are they just hiding it well? I have so much to live for as some say but I think otherwise I have a lot of internal issues […]
William, I miss you dearly, and although I can still feel your presence lingering, I feel the emptiness that I’ve caused. We promised to meet in the afterlife and that my heart was yours. A piece of it still is, if you’re still willing to take it. I will always love you.
I remember that night we first met. You were with Darius and Garret and TJ. Jessica might have been there too. Just writing all of their names brings back the memories of us at the park. Remember that time you stole my cape? Or how we slid down the slide at the playground together? […]
i just tell to my gf i do drugs. she told me she has some curiosity, and would like to try someday. she told me she used to mix alcohol and some pills in order to get high, i think it was valium and sertraline the pills. it’s fucking weird. when she told me that, about the cocktail alcohol-meds, i felt that my feelings for her changed and became more intense. i don’t know. i think it’s because i luv drugs and i think about drugs all the time, and when i recognize this in somebody else besides me it feels great. cuz i don’t […]
Anyone here have experience with this therapy? I have started on a low dose to reduce anxiety and slow suicidal ideation. Not sure its done either yet, but that may be a dosage issue. Side effects? Benefits? Any experience appreciated. Thank you.
Interesting … for the last couple weeks … and probably for the next couple weeks i stand with my toes hanging over the edge of oblivion. And there is an aspect of stress … but it’s like once removed … “out there” … beyond grasp. Like stepping into a clearing with a roaring camp fire in the middle … you feel slight breezes of the slightest rise in warmth … it’s not remotely enough to thaw your frigid bones but it’s “just there”. Safety and warmth within reach on one side, certain death and freezing cold on the other … it’s just a matter of […]
I’m a teenage girl struggling to live with bad bipolar and depression. I have been depressed now for almost 2 years and recently started cutting. I felt relief. Â I now think about suicide everyday if not 24/7. I really think it will happen soon. Everyone tells me that in a few years I’ll be on my own and away from the living conditions I’m in now. But I can’t stand another second. Nobody has given me any other reason to live. I’m embarrassed of who I am today, I never want to show my face again. It would all just be easier if I wasn’t […]
i hate my life, I don’t do good a school I always forget to do homework and I don’t really have any friends. My family hate me, seriously I would like to tell you what my mum says about me but there is to much its that bad, I haven’t cut myself but I will try it when im alone at home. There is too much in my mind, I no NO confidence and im seriously really shy, if someone talked to me I would just act that he are she isent there. I also think im gay, I like this guy in my class […]
I’ve changed so much its almost funny. I used to be ※Oh i love unicorns and rainbows※ and now i’m ※EVERYTHING SUCKS PLEASE KILL ME※ i don’t know why or how i changed but obviously i did. I’ve been wearing all black lately and being less sociable. I have been keeping more to myself. Nobody wants to talk to me anyway except for my four friends.  😐 I’ve always been a reject. Always been pushed to the side. Always made fun of…. nobody really cares until we are gone. They might shed a tear but it’ll take them five minutes to get over our deaths. […]
So, I am not sure how to start this, so I will simply say that there has not been a day that has gone by since I was 6 that I have not felt like a damaged human – I am now 29. One fateful day, when I was six, and what I personally consider my earliest memory, my grandmother hit me so hard that was taken to the ER with two broken bones. I have only ever told one person about this – my wife. Since that day, I was regularly abused by both of my grandparents on my mom’s side. One arm has […]
Things thats piss me off
-When preppy ass bitches start liking your bands like MCR, BVB, BOTDF, SWS
-When people say all emos cut -.- im like nigga plz… xD Going black on yo ass
-When people call me ugly -.- im like wtf…. define beauty *****
Everyone in my eyes in beautiful. We are here for a resaon right? We are all beautiful. If you call someone ugly you need to take a long long look in the mirror and dont say a fucking word until you’re perfect. are you perfect?? NO you’ll never be perfect.
I don’t mean this post to be as mean as the title suggests, I just wanted to update my progress.
If you’ve been following my posts recently you’d know that I’m dealing with the dilemma of working a full time job and still barely scraping to survive with not even a penny to my savings. I live paycheck to paycheck and I’ve just about had enough of all this working hard and not making enough. So instead of sitting around and sulking about it, I’ve decided to take matters into my own hands.
If you are fighting to find a job or can’t seem to […]
I remember when I used to eat pizza because I simply liked the taste. I would eat cake at a birthday party and then move on with my day because that’s what you’re supposed to do. I would eat each meal and not think twice. Maybe I weighed more then, but I know I was happier, I was at peace. I didn’t know that there would come a day that every bite was a war. I’m an intelligent girl with so much potential, but this battle with food is killing me. Eating is supposed to be natural, a […]
 Theres this girl. This blond haired, tainted blue eyed girl. This caring and understanding girl that nobody understood themselves. Her name was Britney. Now Britney has been through to much for a 13 year old. At the age of 2 her father commited suicide. One side of her family blamed her for it. They called her a fuck up and how she was worthless and how if she was never born her father would still be alive. She looked so depressed all the time. But she looked so beautiful when she cried. Her hair […]
I once had a dream that I died.
In this dream, I was laying on railroad tracks, broken, bleeding, and all I could think was I need to die. For some reason it made sense to die now so they could fix me up in hospital and stop the pain, but I would somehow be bought back to life- I don’t know how, but I would.
I remember looking around me, looking down the tracks, and seeing so many broken bodies just like mine, and there were two people moving up the tracks, slitting people’s throats as they went- an act of mercy.
They came […]
Hey… Umm…. I’m not used to sharing things with others… But i dunno you…. And sense you’re on this site, just like me, i don’t think you’ll judge….. right?? I guess i’ll get on with it eh? So… I have this friend that is really REALLY sensitive and responds terrible to people being disapointed in her. She doesn’t have many friends. Neither do i yet i have more than her (No intention to brag. I only have 4 friends) She has 2. Me and this boy named Justin. My friend Britney Didn’t know but Justin had the biggest crush on her. HUGE!! like Fuck  It […]
Things aren’t just going right. I’m bored with life. Sadness just overweighs my happiness. Thinking of suicide later, is it really painful?
By those “things”, I meant everything.
hey there , i dont know u bt am trusting u with my problems ….so here it is..i recently got dumped by my bf of 3yrs he says it was just suppose to be us taken time away because i started university and he wants to give me space to study, bt i intereprted it wrong well what ever i heard the words lets break up ….after this i still contiued to speak with him, cause i dont hold anything against him, then we got in a fight and he treathened to dirty my character with a photo, which most of u mite find […]
How do you put down the knife? How do you put it down and walk away?