I finally understand everything

June 20th, 2005by stealth

Hes right “in the end, you only got yourself”

All my life, I tried being myself, it didn’t work. I tried being someone else, it didn’t work. And just to end up in pain, all my life i wanted to earn ones trust. I’m kind to everyone, I do everyone favors. All i want is a true friendship. Like i don’t know, everyone don’t consider me as a friend. I lie to myself like I have great friends. pretending everyone was great friends, and always pretending the tears, I have every night are tears of joy. No one understand me. IM friggin gay, not bisexual I only say that to i feel more accepted. I can’t believe everyone would think that. Everything I did, was for nothing, me perving girls? Oh wow, I would have never thought that i would perv anyone. I guess, people are just prejudice, I don’t even or ever thought of perving anyone, and if something like that was gonna happen it was unplaned for. And when he perves ppl, I don’t see anything. Maybe hes smarter, hes smart he plans and take advantages of things. And I’m an honest person, never take advantage of people, Always following the saying treat other ;ile how you like to be treated. Like i don’t know, everyone calls me stupid, But u really can’t change ur personality. I tried to be a different person, trying so i would be wanted. And this is what i get being a cused of perving girls. When i have no intrest in girls. Why do i say im a bisexual? I can’t accept it letting ppl know who i am, so i say im bisexual to be more accepted by others by my peers. But in the end what do i get. Just to be hated. And i can’t tell anyone how i feel, because i have no one i can trust. right now i really don’t even no if im making sense anymore. Why? can’t anyone understand me, for once, why can’t there be someone that would understand me. Everytime, everyone say something it hurts, if i really did perv them why does it hurt so much? Why do i always feel these pain. And i would that thought the girl that I told almost everything, have to end up thinking i perved her. I don’t believe in justice or god anymore. Why believe, when your just just gonna end up being disapointed?

In the end, only you know yourself, know else will, not even your best friend.

Sometime you don’t need friends. Without friends you can’t feel pain.

But friends, can also bring happiness, But i realized, that these happiness are fake, and the price you have to pay for these fake emotions are pain.

I have experience enuff pain and now ready to die.

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