My First Note

Sometimes I feel like I should die.. it’s been enough. Its the same old story.. people coming here and writing their stuff in stress. Why do I feel so alone when I think about my first love. Why I didn’t ever feel the same again? God! it’s been ten years now! I couldn’t even get out of it? I have lost everything. I am left with me and my slowly fading ambitions that I promised myself to get someday. I’ve lost my mother. She doesn’t like me.. although she says she does. I don’t like my dad because he was never there for me. He’s a psychopath anyway. And well my brothers.. what about them I was 24 when one of them beat me so bad that his hands were printed all over my face. He was 41 then. I had friends who I thought I could rely on.. unfortunately none of them proved to be friends in need.. or was I demanding ? I could have done a lot in my life. I could have acheived a lot.. if only I was brought up more like I should’ve been.. I wish I were not writing this note here.. wasting my time and energies. I wish I were doing something more constructive for me and for this world. I wish I could feel happy…