I’m almost 23. The first time I clearly remember wanting to kill myself was when I was 11. I’ve been wishing to die ever since and pray everyday that it’ll be the last. I suffered a lot in my life (physical & mental abuse, eating disorders, living on the street, working since I was 14 to pay for school and a LOT more…) and I only know pain and sacrifice. I cry everyday, that’s right EVERYDAY. I’m exhausted of having to fake that I’m OK, just to keep my mom and bro happy. It’s tiring to have to watch tv or go shopping or whatever when all I really want is to cry and end this.
My life now, is not so bad actually. I’m not extremely ugly, have “friends” , I’m in my final year at the University (luckily, school’s always been easy for me), no real money problems and still: I don’t see the point in living this life. Did I really had to go trough all that trouble to get ONLY this in return: a life don’t want. If life’s a gift from God, He can have it back, cos I don’t want it. Not a single day passes that I don’t want to kill myself. If the after-life is so much better, than what the hell are we still doing here? I’m sick of the pain and disappointment. Well now, I’m willing and ready to take the chance to see if it really is better on the other side.