blah. im alone in the world

ok, so i am 14 years old, a freshman in highschool. my father died when i was three years old and i have been trying to deal since then. i have been depressed for about 6 years. i try to tell my mom but she just doesnt get it. i talk to this lady at my school but she doesnt know the whole truth. i started cutting at the beginning of second semester and i havent stopped since. i dont try to hide them cuz i just want someone to notice and to care. but no one has said anything yet. i used to have friends, but they all left a couple weeks ago because of a stupid fight. i cant do it anymore by myself. sschool is dumb and i dont fit in. all i want is for someone to care. its hard when my mom works two jobs and then doesnt wanna deal with me. i put on a smiling face but when somebody says something i just snap. there are these boys on the bus who tell me everyday that i am ugly and not worth anything and i have no boobs and i should kill myself, at first you can just shrug it off, but after 4 years it really starts to sink in. people just dont get it. and i dont think they really care. i just need someone who will listen.