I don’t know who will read this.
In part I’d like to thank the people\persons responsible for this site. I found you when I needed you the most. Glad you took the time to be here for me.
October 30, 2006 almost became the last day of my life. I was at a fork in the road of life. On one side was death by my own hand, on the other, the unknown. Would seeking help cost me my job, my career, my house, everything I’d worked so hard to achieve? Although not much by some standards, it was everything had.
This site gave me the tools I needed to reach out, to be here for at least one more day, to lay my life in the hands of a very trusted friend, to bare my soul and risk ridicule for my inability to cope. That friend, in conjunction with this site put me onto the path of living. Not just existing, but LIVING.
I made the toughest phone call I’ve ever made in my life, and got the help I needed. The help I’ve needed since my childhood. Now in my early 40’s I feel lucky and somewhat cheated at the same time. While glad that I got the help I needed, I wish I’d sought help sooner. So many years of my life lost to depression.
I enjoy life now, for the first time, for as long as I can remember. When I shared my troubles with another friend, she praised me for my courage to seek help. What she called courage, I’d considered failure. Now in hindsight, it was courage, born of desperation, but courage none the less.
I’ve become aware of the number of family and friends who truly care about me. I’ve also found a surprising number who also suffer from depression. People whom I least expected.
You’re not alone. Your pain and suffering may not be as apparent to others as you think. Don’t just hope that others sense your pain. Confide in someone whose judgment you respect.
Start living your life, not just surviving it.