Will it ever end?

I’ve been considering suicide for some time now. Three years to be exact. And the fact that I’m thirteen years old is what scares me the most. I’ve been depressed for so long and im tired of being tired! (in other words, im always about to fall asleep even if i just slept for 20 hours) I took therapy for a while, but then my family couldn’t afford it. My family doesn’t know that I still want to end my life. Basically, I feel like a loser and no one gives a damn about me. Literally, I think the world would benefit w/out me in it.
If I weren’t such a chicken, I’d be gone by now. (Meaning the only thing that has stopped me is my fear of slow, extremely painful deaths)