why me.

June 2nd, 2008by m0ntana

if you want to know my life traumas comment on this.and ill get back to you.

so im 16 & on the outside i look fine and normal.
but wait till you take my clothes and layers off.
im one big scar. i have to many cuts to count. i have to hide them everyday from my sibblings.
i try to be happy,i swear.
i LOVE to cut,thats the problem..i love the feeling.
i use to use a key to cut,it left a nice scar.
then i moved onto scissors,and they left little scars.
so i moved onto a knife with teeth..i also punch things tempting to break my hand..but instead it just swells up.
so i cut it open to release the pressure.
im so messed up..
my boyfriends big sister said i was “fucked” up.and i hold onto that.
and my boyfriend is the complete opposite of me.
he things im stupid and that i need to stop my cutting and overdosing.
i love him to much to leave him behind..im scared that he doesnt love me anymore.
or that no one ever could.
yea im pretty and aLOT of guys like me..but they couldnt handle me..hell i cant.

fck i love him so much.
he use to live with me.then he moved back home for baseball and a hydro course.
i wish he was here to stop me.
whenver he sees my cuts he gets mad.
i can never get a tear out of him.
i wish he was more sensitive.
i ended up in the physc ward two times.
and the first time i ended up in peds. and he was on the island but couldnt visit me.
i think he’s afraid//
fck im crazy.

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