I cant take much more

It all started after my son was born he was diagnosed with muscular tortacollis, he had to go through 2 surgies and 2 years of rehab through this we managed to survive finanically. Then my wife, myself, and daughter were involved in a sea doo accident, this was a hugh struggle on an already dwindiling realationship with me and me wife. After she recovered and finally made it back to work she was involved in a motor vehicle roll over. This turned out to be a work comp claim (she worked for the government) of which there position was to release her from her job this started the major downfall in my life.I thought I could just work extra hours to keep us afloat money wise. I was working 80 to 100 hours a week for a period of two years the depression really started kicking in at this point during this time things went from bad to worse we lost our home of 9 years it was what I was working to keep. At this point I realy started drinking heavy and basicaly cut off almost all communication to everyone I know. Then after moving I discovered that she was having an affair while this was going I was working insane hours and found out she was giving this person money, this is money I was working to save our home with. I have almost totaly become disconnected from the real world at this point. I went into work 2 days later and bumped up my life insurance to over $ 500,000 then a week later I was working in a 4160 volt panel, thinking to myself that the worl had no place for me so I reached in and grabbed the center lug. I was lucky and not a day goes by I dont thank God for a second chance. Even though I still struggle with trying to work out things with my wife on a daily basis. I still can not figure out what got into me that day. I will never forget that day for as long as I live. I just want everyone to know that given the second chance if I knew now what I did’nt know then I would have never tried taking my life. Each and everyday I try to find happiness in the small things in life. I wont lie and say life is not a struggle but it is a struggle worth keeping. If anyone needs to talk you may e-mail me at burzerko@yahoo.com I have been there so I know what you are going through.