July 5th, 2008 by s0cc3rchikk

I am a 15 year old high school student, just finished my sophomore year. I am having suicidal thoughts that make me cry every night, I know i wont actually be able to commit suicide at the moment but later on in life i would like to not have this problem and i think its becuase my parents divorced when i was 1 becuase my dad was/is abusive. Now that i am a teenager he has began guilt tripping me into thinking that everything is my fault and i should take the responsibility in calling him, BUT the thing is i called him a year ago on his birthday in january and he said thanks ill call you tommorrow a year and a half later i get the call, we talk for a couple weeks, then asks if i want to come down, sure i said, so before all of this i went into the emergency room for a stomach problem caused by stress, so i go down and he guilt trips me saying he has no money for this $3,000 hospital bill and says that i should start calling him more often so we can get our relasionship back, so i called again,okay ill call you in a few days he says never got the call back so i say okay ill call him on fathers day thanx ill call you in a few days. He still hasnt called me. Along with all of this about a year ago my step dad cheated on my mom with a co-worker and they said well we can try to work it out and every since our relationship has gone DOWN hill we argue all the time and he is trying to fix it but hasnt done anything about it yet, so i dont know what to do and i really want to stop these thoughts of me being worthless, and the suicidal thoughs… anyone have any suggestions?? They will help a lot and i thank you a lot!

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