Smotherer

July 15th, 2008by Jordan333

Ever since my father cheated, and my parents divorced three years ago, it has aggravated my depression to a point where I saw a psychiatrist and got medicated. I distanced myself from my peers, and floated through high school.

Then I met Taylor.

It could not have come at a better time. I was so close to giving up and just scared to actually live. He helped me through so much.

But I asked too much of him: I needed (and still do) him too much, to a point where I only wanted to be with him every waking second. I was crushing him, and instead of him feeling that I took him to a place no one else could, he felt tied down.

He left me last night.

It is so hard to bear, that after a year of leaning on someone for comfort, that person leaves. I feel as though I am free falling and I am at a point now where I have to decide if I will brace myself after my fall or just let myself hit the ground.

He kept me anchored and grounded, but I guess I see now that, by allowing myself to become so dependent, I lost the self-reliance necessary to care for living.

I don’t think I want to die, although it hurts so badly, I just need some time to heal. Who knows, maybe it’s for the best.

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