Burnout and turned-out

  August 19th, 2008 by Rednaxela

19 years of life seems short for some… long for me though. I feel more like 190 than 19. I am quite intelligent, though I cant get it out due to haunting grades from my past. Considering suicide due to a rape, may seem more understandable than my suicidal drive. Though, whatever reason: death is death. And I`m on a road that doesen`t seem to fork; only cave in on it self.
I am also singel, and that surely ain`t helping. I just wish i could find peace.

Being a philosopher, I have dived to the deep ocean of my human being; sadly, I dont think I took in enough air before i dissapeared from everyone else. I may drown in my own thoughts, choaking and corrupting my mind: crafting the desire for self-annihilation. Maybe wisdom awakens the desire for CHANGE? CHANGE is the entire point of suicide isn`t it?

Well, well, If I rubbed of the dust of a lamp, and a genie appeared granting me tre wishes I would say; a family, and that the gates of acedemic, artistic, philosophical and all other passions chained by a unyielding, fierce and cold system should be removed from their adjacent walls alltogether. I would leave my final wish to you, dear reader. What do you want?

Processing your request, Please wait....