I’m pretty young to have alot of problems in my life. I’m currently 13 moving on 14 and my life has been a living hell since I was 3 years old. Living my normal toddler life in Ohio with my loving family.
My mother was very pretty. She had 2 jobs to feed her children. Frank, Brian, and I. So forth, we DID struggle with money. We were dirt poor.
She also had a husband. Tim. He was a good man, but didn’t spend money wisely. Everytime he got paid, he would spend it all on beer, drugs, and ciggs. My mother and him both drank and smoked, but they were good to my brothers and I. But suddenly, my mother got fed up with it. She broke up with him. Yeah, BROKE UP. They never married and they were together for the longest time. She met another man, I like to call him the devil. His name? Well, his name was Keith.
We moved to his house in Pennsauken NJ. It was smaller then our old house, but we got alot more money. He was responsible and had a good job. His job was so good, my mother could stay home without a job, and we would have plenty of money. The only problem was,
He wasn’t all that good with kids.
My brother Brian was 5. I was 3. Yes, I was the baby of my siblings. Frankie moved with his father when my parents split.
Keith would want to put my brother and I to work; and he still does. He was mean and racist. He wasn’t the nicest and my brother and I were afraid to be alone with him. We lived like that for about 6 years. Finally, my mother got a job and had to go to college. We were scared out of our minds to be alone. So my brother Frankie moved back with us. A year later, We moved to Cinnaminson to take care of my handy capt uncle and my sick grandmother. We’ve been living like this for about 4 years now. and I’m 13. Brian is 15, and Frank is 25 living in our Pennsauken house with his girlfriend Amanda. I started 5th grade there. It all went well. Making new friends, seeing new things. But then I had my best friend Jess sleep over.
She saw Keith hurt us. And tell us how we couldn’t eat and how he criticized me.
The next day, she called Diffous [Child care]. They followed my brother and I around school, searched out house, and interviewed my parents. I could never see her ever again for what she did. And now shes my foe.
6th grade was the worst year of my life. Yeah, I met my best friend Melinda. She’s the best thing that happened because we’ve been best friends for 3 years now. But the worst came to happen.
For years my father went from having cancer to fighting it.
And finally, he died. Age 56 at our old house. Alone and poor. Took about 25 pills a day just to keep him going.
It was the worst state I’ve ever seen him in.
We had him cremated and at the funeral, I found out I had other brothers and sisters.
9 more to be exact. That’s 12 all together.
It was like a family gathering.
We all started talking more and I got to know more of my family.
7th grade, was horrible. I fell in love. It was horrible. His name I will keep classified. He became my best friend and I’ve known him for almost a year now. He was always there for me, and he still is. He’s my best friend and I would do anything for the child. We’ve been through basically the same shit. But that’s just it. We couldn’t be together. We didn’t want to be together. We were best friends. It would be weird. But seeing him with other people just make my stomach turn. I was afraid he would get hurt. and I was already hurt as anything. Then, I couldn’t take it.
I started cutting.
My friends hated it that i did. But I didn’t care.
Someone else did though. He did.
He found out and started telling me about how much he cared and he didn’t want me going down that road. He told me so much that just made me fall to the floor crying. My life got worse as it went on. About every week, I would cry and cut. I would talk to my friends about my problems, but they never were solved. So many people have hated me for complaining, but I need someone to listen. Melinda moved. I was crushed. She was always there for me and now she lived hours away. I cut more and more and my friends put me through so much shit, I don’t think I could even say it. My family knew nothing about my problems. When my brother found out, he called me an emo fuck and told me to get a life. I fucking hated it. Just sitting here typing this makes me go crazy. But to make it short, Life sucks. No one loves me. I’ve been single since February and My last boyfriend was Kevin. He cared about me and loved me [or so I thought] but then he got drunk and broke up with me. I don’t think I’ll ever be with him again.. My life is horrible. Getting abused, cutting, friends drama far worse then mine, love, and family. I’ve done nothing to anyone so I don’t understand why I deserve this.
So why not just end it?