I don’t have a traumatizing past. I don’t have a lot of things going against me right now. Sure, I’m under a lot of stress because of school. Sure, I don’t have any money to pay the bills. Sure, my family life is a little insane and my family has good days and bad days. I don’t have a reason to feel like this.
I wasn’t always like this. I wasn’t always a depressed person waiting for a miracle to make me happy- to make my life mean something. I wanted to be a writer when I was little- I thought I could change the world with my words and that people might be better off- might enjoy- reading what I had imagined. I wanted to share myself with the world.
What am I now? A little girl with crushed dreams. I sleep around and the only thing I hold to my name is the amount of scars I have to hide from people. It’s pathetic. All I have accomplished in life is making myself miserable.
I’ll try it out. I’ll give life another chance- see if I can make something of myself. March 17th. 5:08. I hope to God I learn to love myself because, God, I’m afraid to die.