Today, I was in a head on car accident. Two weeks ago I prayed to God that he would kill me some how so I didn’t have to do it myself. When I walked away from that accident today a large portion of who I am was angry I didn’t die. It would have been perfect. My family wouldn’t of blamed me, it would have looked like an accident. I feel like all I am good for, is for someone to get pleasure from my pain. I just want to give my love away, to love a family, love a husband. All day long people tell me how beautiful they think I am. When I was raped, the man that did it said over and over in my ear that I was so beautiful and he had to do it. When will this go away. I want to crawl into a person’s chest and live their so I can be loved, and kept safe. I need to be saved from myself. I am guilty of asking my creator to destroy me.