They never knew

November 8th, 2008by AbsentFeeling

At a young age I had always felt misunderstood. People always referred to me as ‘wierd’ and ‘socially impared’. My parents never knew this, I had told them once but they tried to convince me they were just joking or to ignore them. I got bullied more often and my parents were hardly home anymore. I told my mom that I’ve never felt so depressed in my whole life, she got angry at me and said that I should be happy that I have a warm house to live in and good food to eat. That made me feel like I was some sort of demon for being so inconsiderate to the less fortunate children. I participated less at school and began to shut myself out of everyone else’s lives, my parents took notice and were angry again because I was acting so “meanly” to the other children and to them. This made me think that these feelings were “socially incorrect”. I began talking with the other children more often and acting “normally”, but I began to develop anger as well as self-anger. I had never felt such hatred for everyone or myself before, but soon I began acting out, becoming more depressed, but this was at home while my parents were still at work so they never found out. Now, age 14, I feel extreme resent for my parents. I never tell them how I really feel, but I do wish I could….

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