The Unforgiven Father

Hi my name is Stephanie. My father is someone you cant forgive right away. He’s always on my back, “Stephanie do this, Stephanie dont do that, Stephanie your stupid, Stephanie your an idiot, Stephanie jus go in a corner an die.” he never say;s anymore, “Good job Stephanie, I love you, your gorgeous, or Stephanie your a great sister.” Now it’s, “what’s wrong with you?, why are you so damn dumb?, why cant you jus be yourself anymore?” All I can think about is what is life like on the other side? I’ve tried many times to commit suicide. I havent actually followed threw with it. I don’t want to. Can someone help??