im 18 years old and im a at my breaking point. ive never been happy even growing up. my father yelled at me almost everyday growing up to the point now where i cant stand to be around him. since middle school ive felt alone ive always been trying to change myself.then i was a little overweight and was teased by that, in high school i tried all sports and never made it. wanted to do football my sophmore year an ended up fracturing my back, then junior year i played and lost a lot of weight and felt good, then i was made fun of for being too skinny. my senior year i put all my time and effort into football and busted my ass and only played special teams the whole year. after that i got into the college i wanted but still felt alone. the girl i like since freshman year i tried to date bought her roses and everything on valentines day and barley got a hug. after that every girl i asked to prom turned me down so i went alone, next week again made fun of even by teachers for that. finally out of high school i met an amazing girl, we had talked for over a year and finally now were dating. she knew i was going to be 2 1/2 hours away for school but she still loved me, i felt like i found the right one and so did she, then in october she broke up with me and its been down hill since. i tried everything to get back with her and then she told me she was seeing someone else not even a month after and i gave up and have been suicidal since. last night i begged her to talk to me for help, she told me id be better off dead and why havent i kicked the bucket yet and continued to brag about her new boyfriend, i told her this morining tonight is the deciding factor in my life, i lost my aunt and my cousin in the same year, i came back from school to find out my mom could die soon and i dont know what to do. im trying everyday not to end my life but cutting myself eases the pain. i feel like a waste of life and time and a failure to god
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Dear Breakingpoint,
I’ve been where you are at right now and have spend many years in a near suicidal state, and in some ways I still am there. You have to consider though if it is really worth it. When a person kills themselves, their pain is over, yes, but you leave so many behind in a new level of pain. Your Father, your mother, your feidns and other family members, you will hurt them deeply. I know that sounds like a bit of a guilt trip, but it is true.
As for yourself, I will not tell you it will get easier, as it might not. It probably will get better, but nothing in life is 100% assured. My suggestion, not that you are in college is to put your head down and concentrate on your studies. For the X GirlFriend, forget the worries, use the school work as a good distraction. Girls will come and go, and she doesn’t sound like she is worth your time. Women will eventually be more interested in your disinterest, then your desperation. You are at a time in your life where you get to set the path. So many of your peers don’t commit to their college work or get serious about life. They just want to party. Get ahead of them, work hard and then a few years down the track all will be fine.
Don’t end your life, it really isn’t worth it. If you end your life, you end any chances of knowing if tomorrow will be a better day. You do not know what is around the corner that may surprise you, but its worth taking the risk to find out.
FOR UMMMM: I am right there with you, it is as if you wrote for me. I also tried suicide by purchasing a gun, loading it, putting it in my mouth and shoot, but to my ugly dissappointment the gun did not work, can you believe that! I am now dealing with feelings of “Damn I am still here.
If you would like ( I would like very much) e-mail me.
THIS IS TO THE POSTER THAT CALLS HIMSELF “ANY”. I am so sick of you leaving your “guilt trips” on everyone’s postings, including mine. YOU are not ME or anyone else on here. YOU do not know what our lives are like. So, STOP making light of our situations. STOP preaching to us like everyone around us does. “Just get over it, it’ll be fine, your young, its no big deal.” These are things similar to what you have said to myself and others. Take your preaching elsewhere. We are here for comfort and strength from others..not to be belittled by a self-righteous know it alls like YOU