i wonder if she made it

  January 21st, 2009 by estoy_triste

this is in memory of my bestfriend Angel R.I.P i miss u mama

we grew up together. from the time i was born untill i was 14, she was two years older than me but we were bestfriends. i loved her like a sister an she loved me more than words could explain.. her mom did drugs (crack) an angel never wanted to go home.. we would sit outside untill it got dark.. then i had to go home.. as we got older we grew closer.. she was the first person i got high with. she was the first person i ran away with ha we made it all the way to kentucky before my grandma found us and beat us both the whole way home.. there is nothing in this world that can replace our memories and as much as i loved an still love her the day i found her dead was the worst day of ma life.

i knocked on the door an her mom answered an said she was in her room.. me and sarah walked upstairs an sarah went to the bathroom an i walked into Angels room, nothing in the world could have prepared me for what i was about to see. there was blood everywhere an empty pill bottles on the floor. i ran over to her and screamed an smacked her in the face hoping and praying to God for her to wake up. i held her close to my heart rocking back and forth. when the ambulance showed up i jus sat in the corner of her room and rocked myself back and forth in shock,. we were supposed to die together on the same day. we were supposed to grow old together and she took that away from me. at first i couldnt miss her i was just mad an wanted to hate her how could she do this? how could she say she loved me so much yet take the only thing i had away from me? yeah we both had broken homes and smoked an drank we were young an had hard lives but when worst came to worst i had her but her havin me jus wasnt good enough… its been a few years since it happened an i’ve learned to forgive her for what she done but deep in my heart there will always be the question were we really Bestfriends?? i have so many unanswered questions.. i miss her and now i do understand that sometimes things just get too hard but what i dont understand is if i can get through what ive gone through why cant people just stick it out she was 16 when she took her life she could have waited 2 more years an been done i am now 18 an things are gettin better there has been times that i too thought that ending it was the only way but then i thought of how bad it hurt me and so many of her close family and friends an i would never want to hurt someone like that.when we were little Angel always told me she wanted to leave this place an go somewhere wonderful and sunny where there were no problems at all……… i wonder if she made it

and if you think noone cares thats not true, everytime i see someone take there own lives it hurts me inside. i know there are times that u feel like noone cares. my mom and dad left me with my grandma when i was born and she died when i was 9 in 2004 Angel killed herself a year later in 2005 my older brother(R.I.P) got shot an lost his life.i was addicted to cocaine an i went to rehab at age 16. i turned my life around an now i have been sober for 1 year an 2 months an counting i am a senior in high school and i am doing better i have been through it i grew up in a trap house an seen things i shouldnt have seen. but nothing is worth taking your own life. if things are as bad as they can get.. they can only get better keep ur head up.

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