no reason

January 23rd, 2009by whatmighthavebeen

I hate it, I hate it, I hate it I hate the way i feel. I have no reason to feel this way. I have a better life then most I’m in college and have money for food and clothes. My mom doesn’t hit me anymore she just verbally abuses me. There are a lot of people that have worst lives then me and they mangage to pull through and be happy. I have no good reason to feel this way but i still want to die. I keep waiting for something to make it better but it never does. for a while i can fool myself into thinking i’m happy but truthfully I wouldn’t really care if i didn’t wake up tommorrow. I didn’t try to hurt myself for a month but today I did. I dug my nails into my wrists trying to make me bleed. I don’t use sharp objects because I know if I did I wouldn’t stop and I don’t want my roommate to come back and find my dead. Isn’t that pathetic? I don’t kill myself because I wouldn’t want to upset anyone. Probably the only thing i ever do for myself in this life would be killing myself. I hate the way i feel

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