“If it makes you happy then why the hell are you so sad?”
I ask myself that question everyday, I have a decent life. Nothing horrible by far, and yet I feel like I’m nothing.
I’ve spun out of control and I can’t stand myself anymore.
I have friends
I have family
I have a home, materialistic items, the world’s at my finger tips
and I don’t want it.
I’m pushing everything away, I feel I am a burden to my friends and family and I have no one to talk to.
I’ve tried to kill myself 3 times before and nothing has worked…partly because I didn’t want it too and partly because I’m such a complete fuck up that I can’t even kill myself correctly. I took 11 Oxicodones about 30 minutes ago…I hope they work
I just want someone to talk to so bad but I’m scared…scared to talk to the people I know
I used to talk to my best friend about it…and that caused me to loose her (I think)
I’m afraid if I talk to anyone else about it I will loose them too
I just want someone to hear me…to see me…to give me advice, to slap me into reality
Anything.
Please.
Make me feel something
4 comments
I know how you feel. I have eveything too but nothing seems to matter. I thought my friends hated me because no one would talk to me either. But to let ykou know there will be someone who will listen. And now you have someone to talk to email me any time I’ll be hear for you. I know this weekend I was going to try for the 5th time. But I read this and decisied to try and get help. Just talk to me I’ll advise you the best I can please stay. There is something to live for.
I hope that those pills you took didn’t work. I’d like to talk to you, talk about how you are feeling and why.. because not so long ago I felt the same way. but i have kind of got past it, i’ve pushed myself to move on and accept who i am and enjoy having the company of friends, because i remember the time when i was alone. I lost my best friend of 14 years, she just didn’t need me anymore but I now know that she wasnt worth it. And I’m sure that it is the same with your ex-best friend, if she left you because you were confiding in her about your problems, there are obviously a lot of better people than her out there and I know that you can find them, because I did. You have made me think long and hard about myself, and I hope to God that you are okay right now, because I want to help you. Please, just email me and I can try to help you, if not I can at least listen, because that is always helpful too. I don’t ever pray, but I will, to make sure that you are okay. katkiri@hotmail.co.uk
XX
I know, everyone I talk to feels that you have to be deprived of something, or have lost someone, to not want to live. But there just doesn’t seems to be a reason to live.
PRAY TO GOD THAT THE PILLS DO NOT WORK. AFTER YOU ARE DEAD THERE IS NO COMING BACK. NO 2ED TRYS. NO TRUNING BACK. YOU ARE GONE. PLEASE IF YOU ARE STILL HERE (I HOPE YOU ARE) DONT TRY AGAIN. FAIND A PASSION. STICK TO IT. THAT WILL BE YOUR REASON TO LIVE. IT IS FUNNY THAT I CAN HAND OUT ADVICE BUT CANT USE IT.