just another day…

  February 15th, 2009 by chill

i dont know where to start… i have been dealing with depression, stress, anxiety and occasional suicidal thoughts now for years. i never (until recently) talked to anyone about my problems, which i believe was a huge mistake. i feel that this problem i have within myself is hurting not only myself, but those around me. every day has its ups and downs, and some days are better than others… i feel empty inside, i cant carry on conversation with anybody because i feel like i dont have anything interesting to say and i find myself struggling to try and talk, so i just sit back and listen and watch the world evolve around me. im tired, emotionally and physically. i feel like im a huge dissapointment to those around me, even though i am not. even as i type this i just feel a huge emptyness within myself, and i cant even type out in words how i feel… i dont know how much longer i can deal with this feeling, it hurts so bad! today will not be my last day i know that already, but someday soon i may find myself in a place where i cannot go any further. i wish i could get a grip on this hurting i feel, im tired of crying, tired of hurting… just tired of living. but i continue to hold my head up and try to believe something good is just around the corner. have a good day everyone.

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