My story goes like this. My parent would fight every second of the day. I would lock myself in my room and try to block it out. But the pain kept getting worse and never stopped. So I would cut myself to make it go away. It helped for a little while but then it came back ten times stronger. So I tried to find away out and of course the way out I thought was to commit suicide. My house is a second story house and my sister’s room (which is now my room) has a window that has access to the roof. So I went to the edge and was going to jump then I saw my little sister. Then I thought what was I doing leaving her to be in this war we call home by herself. So I stepped back in the window and sat up crying about the pain I felt. So I went to cut myself enough so that I could sleep. This wasn’t the only time it happened. I tried to do it two more times but something brought me to think about my little sister and I walked away from that ledge. But every now and then I think why can’t I jump off that ledge? But I do keep cutting myself and people try to tell me not to do it but it’s really keeping me away from that ledge. My teacher saw my most reasent cut and had me go to the school conuslor but it just made me want to jump even more. But I didn’t get to the ledge. I try to keep away but now the way I feel is like soon I may be on that ledge again and this time I may not turn and walk away. I can’t even feel the knife cut my skin. That is my story. Thank you
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From what I’ve read, jumping that far probably wouldn’t kill you, but it could leave you crippled. Maybe you could give the counselor another chance?
Hey, I understand how you feel to an extent. I used to self harm alot due my ex being physically and emotionally abusive to me. Try get some counselling or psychological help or even see a doctor and go on anti depresaants, im not sure where you are but i was on efexor xr for a year which helped me stop self harming. I havent cut for 2 years and feel great. Mind you every now and again i do feel like killing myself but then i ring my mum or in your case a friend you trust or even a help line. dont let anyone tell you that your problems arent big enough or make you feel guilty for feeling this way. do speak to someone ok it may help ease your pain.
I skipped the cutting. People would notice. I almost stabbed myself. But it would be Kevin my older brother who would find me as a bloodly mess on the floor. i am scared. i dont want to live such a empty life. i dont want to die ether. my life has been to short. i am only 11. my parents are keeping something form me. i found out all by myself that i was adopted. y should i be living? even the many kids that bully me are noticing that i am dressped. all people but the people who are sposed to know me best. GOD HELP ME!
I’m going to sound crazy for a second here:
Keep cutting.
People’s automatic reaction is to stop you from cutting. Then say that you should see a consoler. Consolers only work for some people. I’m saying, whatever keeps you away from that ledge.
Although, sounding more sane now, you seem to not want to hurt your sister. Cutting hurts your sister. She sees it. Think about it. If you really worry about her like you seem to, you will not jump, and you’ll think about the cutting.
Back to insane:
Yell, scream into your pillow. Damage your voice. My (In sight of your) concern is not that you’re hurting yourself. You’re hurting your sister. You can hurt yourself internally if you need pain. Something that is physical but they cannot see.
I understand how it feels as well, also to an extent. Especially when someone finds out. I told my best friend after the first time I cut and she freaked out and started crying, she hardly ever cried. She tried to get me to the student welfare co-ordinator, we got halfway and that was the furthest I ever went. A few months later that same best friend started avoiding and ignoring me and leaving me out of things, stuff like that. It built up and she wouldn’t talk to me and then eventually we had a huge fight, and I tried to apologise and she just wouldn’t accept. This was over three years ago and we haven’t spoken since. The first year after I cut more, a bit less the second year and hardly at all this last one. Just a few things have happened that I have not been able to cope. So I don’t think I’m better. Just trying to get by. And that is all we can do. I have a little sister as well and I think about what her life would be like if I killed myself. I’ve thought about it alot. If things are hard for us, imagine how they would be if we had someone we should be able to look up to and rely upon commit suicide. Another friend of mine I’ve known since primary school, her father committed suicide. As if that wasn’t bad enough, then my friend’s older sister committed suicide as well, not being able to handle it. Imagine being that girl.
But we are just us. And all we can do is get by. Take as long as you need to work through it. As long as you stick around.
Good luck x
Suicide takes over our mind just like simple desires. Every day I ask myself, if I do it quick, I won’t have to worry about anything ever again.
I have two little brothers and love them sooooo much. My parents fight continuously day after day, night after night. I hate them with all my heart. I cut myself to subside the pain I can’t seem to get rid of inside of me.
But whenever I try suicide, I always end up thinking of my little brothers. What would I do to them if I killed my self? I know that my parents would blame themselves, that’s partially what i want. But I don’t want my baby brothers to have to go through the same shit that I do every day.
I don’t want people to have to kill themselves to get rid of the pain, but if that’s what you have to do,
than do whatever you want.
I’m not judging anyone who does want to commit suicide
im just saying that if you have anyone in this world, especially siblings
think about how much they love you and look up to you.
There is ALWAYS something around the corner,
even if it’s death
-Sie