Its geting harder and harder as the days of my life with in the darkness go on i see no way out now and think its best if i just slip away to the train line .I have tryed so many times before to end my life and each one i have failed at but the train line seems the end for me . My life i have failed at in everythng i do i just fail all the time ,i dont see a way out now .I have help from the doctors and rethink but i just dont want to waste there time anymore.Yes im not afraid of death and have not been for many years.I talk about it all the time and all they say is it will get better in time ,well i have no more time in my life.I know there i people worse than me but i dont care about them the time is now my`ne i have spent to long in my life worring about others.
Yer you may say let talk about it but i have done all i can and when i did want to talk they were not there,the darkness dose not worry me and im sorry for the person who will find me .I did not want the darkness that has taken hold of my life.Everyone who knew of me in time your pain will go,but my pain is to great to bare any longer,all i do is see the darkness and see no light in my life anymore .I forget when i last slept as if i shut my eyes the darlness and voices just take over ,It won over me and i cant control it anymore ..
Si
2 comments
You wrote three days ago and still no comments. A very long time for someone who is desperately suffering like you (and me). I hope that you are alive. I hope that you can see this message telling you that you are not alone. I am no English native speaker, please forgive my grammar or spelling mistakes. I don’t think that you failed everything in your life, you more probably fulfilled your mission in this world, which included a lot of pain and struggle. But you are not alone in your suffering, we are a folk. Please try to go on. Whatever the purpose of our martyrdom, I think there is one.
About the sleeping problems and the voices that you hear, it must be terrible. I never had that, and the discomfort that you feel because of that is beyond my imagination. Please try once again to see a good doctor, maybe he can find some better medication to relieve at least those symptoms. For the pain of living, on the contrary, there is no medicine, but friends can help. My mail is: nocheingast@aol.com
If you need me, here I am.
Si,
Don’t stop seeking professinal help, as they are professionals for a reason. You don’t seem to be getting any pleasure in life, and I know the feeling too well. We don’t know what tomorrow will bring, and in time you may, or may not feel better. If I had one suggestion, it would be find something local to volunteer for, like charity work. Not just for helping out other people, but to help you out. You would be surprised how theraputic it can be.