Life.The last couple of days have seen the spawning of a journey out of the abyss. So much deep emotion, (confusion, anger, fear, and hopelessness) was building up and needed to be released into the atmosphere. I still think about those things (meaninglessless, conditional love, my mistakes, my future) but when I feel myself slipping asunder, I mentally create a hypothetical situation that I know would be 100% unbearable, then measure how much worse it is than my present state.
I talk to the Universe, thanking it for taking care of the souls who have departed, praying for their happiness.Then I ponder on things completely unrelated to my problems, like my “happy place” for instance. I’ll use that movie “Hook” (starring Robin Williams) as an analogy.” In the movie he says, “Just think of a happy place and as long as you hold onto that thought, you can fly!” This is one of the ultimate truths of human psychology. With the proper mindset you can rise above lowly states of merely existing and into actually living. Thus, I’ve made a pact with myself that, should I ever get so terribly depressed again that I’m unable to function, I am moving to coastal Washington State, the puget sound area. Never been there, never really wanted to, don’t ask me why but this area has begun to intrigue me for the last couple of months. The place that just flew into my mind one day as an alternative to suicide. I think a change of geography and culture would be quite useful in this situation. I guess it’s better than being rash and not thinking by just suddenly offing myself, and it would give me time to think more about things and have new, completely different surroundings to explore and experience.
Now for the good stuff…
I was reading someone elses hub on “NonBelievers: Relax about death” or something to that effect. They said that your life is like a string, it starts then it ends, there was nothing before, and there will be nothing afterward, so there’s nothing to really worry about. He said (this may not be a perfect quote, but you get the idea): “remember what was going on before your birth? That’s right, nothing. You didn’t exist, so there’s nothing to think about. Same thing will happen when you die. You won’t experience anything, no pain, no happiness, you simply won’t exist, so focus on more positive things.” I liked this hub and got a kick out of it, and the ironic thing is that, although I don’t REALLY believe in the depths of me that this is true and it seems kind of gloomy prospect, the hub got me thinking even more about our existence before and after this life, and my logic began to make me feel better.
You see, I thought of the “string” analogy, and at first I was like, “damn. he’s right. everything is pointless and there is no such thing as existence after this life. But THEN i had a gleaming and insightful revelation: My logic told me that, if it were possible for us to just “appear” out the hell of nowhere, no reason, no prior existence, and then to just “disappear” again into the nothingness from which we came, then wouldn’t that ALSO mean that it would be possible for us to suddenly “reappear” again, out the hell of nowhere? Perhaps in another form? Because there is a set amount of massÂ energy in the universe, and it doesn’t disappear but simply recombines and transforms. So, if our consciousness is a particular, random combination of energy (we already knowÂ it is definitely an energy) then it is entirely plausible that this energy which makes up our “selves” would recombine in the same form again, thus revivingÂ our selves’Â form of consciousness. Or, this energy that forms our consciousness could just remain in the same form after we leave this earth. Either works. what DOESN’T work is the unscientific prospect that this energy just disappears.
But wait, there’s more!
The fact that we are here now means that, based on the physics of the universe, we could certainly just appear again at another time, then disappear again, then reappear. All from nothingness, or something, or whatever. It’s not that important in the scheme of things I suppose.
BUT, the logic follows that if this is indeed true (which the fact that we are here means it MUST BE), we are actually ETERNAL andÂ can’t ever really go away or dissipate, just simply change form somehow!
How cool is that! It’s like, in my misery and hopeless despair, The universe suddenly nfused me with this brilliant idea, and I do mean BRILLIANT! Although I’m quite sure I’m not the first person to have reached this conclusion via insight. The beauty of it is that it’s perfectly logical and the fact that we are here NOW proves it. This is evidence, WE are evidence that life is eternal. I shall hold this revelation dear to my heart…