Falling apart Family

I can’t take it anymore this family is killing me. Well acually I’m killing myself, but that’s not the point. My father is destorying this family and we’re just letting it happen. He was gone for two weeks and we talk to him maybe three times, but his new family called him everyday so he feels that we don’t love him. So he said that he’s going to move in with them and never come home. And he has no idea how much that hurts me. It hurts me a lot because he’s the only parent that I have. And the reason I don’t tell him that I love him all the time is because I’m afraid I’m going to lose him and that it’s going to me all my fault. I don’t know what I would do without him. I’ve lost my mother to alochal and to lose my father would just kill me even further. But it seems that I might have already lost him to his new family. He got their names tatooed on him but we aren’t. And we’re his own blood. So I just want to die and not watch this family fall apart anymore. Would he even care if I died or would be too busy with his new family? I just want him to love me and to know that my feeling count too.