I am only 12. at age 12 my brothers freind at age 18 tryed to rape me. His name is Bidy and right know i am scared to even have a boyfreind. many times i have held a razor blade to my wrist. two cuts and it would all be over. Their is a s on my leg that will be there for forever. The S stands for my best freind first letter in her name Sammy. oh god i love that girl she is like my sister. I have started middle school, and am in track. i cut and cut and cut but it does no good. I have not seen my dad for 8 months and my mother yells at me constantly. i am afraid if she finds out i cut that she will send me to a private school for kids like me. she has said to not dress in black or red any more. she says its to emo. but what she doesnt relize is that i really am emo. there is a scar a S. i love it i lvoe to run my finger over it and fell what i had. even though i lost her as well. i have to go for know. i need to talk to someone who understands me.