How do you feel good when everything is screwed up?

  April 20th, 2009 by britt_018

I hate school like i can honestly say i do except for my math teacher she is amazing. I havent been going and my mom gets pissed at me for not going but she doesnt understand that i feel like one of the “out crowd” kids cause i am over weight and ive never actually got called fat well i have but its like in one of those “funny” ways well they think its funny and i just put a smile on my face and act like its nothing but it hurts really bad. Ive told my mom but she thinks its all bull but its not. I have a sister who i always talk to but idk its like i cant say anything to anyone cause im going through that problem not them ME. Sometimes i feel the need of suicide is all i have. I havent cut myself and im proud i havent cause ive read other peoples stories and see how that messes up a lot of things. But im on the verge of doing so. 


They say black makes you look “smaller” so i try to get everything black thats cute so i wont look to “goth” but its not working cause i dont like wearing black all the time i loveeeee color but i cant wear it. I cant wear a lot of things cause i am over weight so when i see other girls at school wearing something i say thats cute but no. I really wanna start a clothing line for plus sized girls with cute clothes unlike other plus size clothes. I would call myself pretty (not trying to be conceited) but everyone says i am so i take their word but if i was smaller i would be beautiful. I know its not about whos the skinniest or whos the prettiest but sometimes it feels like that. I just wanna get away from everything and get myself healthy but how are you suppose to do that when everything is screwed up? We cant and we should not compare our sufferings but sometimes thats all we can do when our life is screwed…….

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