i’m loosing it

i’m so scared i’ crying for no reason i cried earlier but i dont know why all that happened was my step dad said he wanted to slap me because i was talking to my mum in a way that he didnt like, i used to like him i wanted him to adopt me but he’d jut turning out to be a wanker, i keep dreaming that i’m falling from great hights and i wake up screaming i hear voices in my hed and i’v finally realised nobody exept my family waants me here and nobody in my family understand what i’m going through even when my arms bleed it doesnt help it just releaves the mental pain untill it physically stops hurting and then it comes back thats why i dont bother cutting that much anymore i’v tried everythink to stop the mental agony but nothing helps i’v smoked, done drugs,self harmed, but nothing works nobody wants me here so why stay