April 21st, 2009 by Sirachick

I read. I read the stories.
I see. I see your problems.
You feel the pain for someone dieing, or getting abused. Loving someone that doesn’t love you back. Loving the devil them self?
You don’t die, not yet, you’re scarred.
Scarred of reactions. Pain. GOD. Most of you are scarred of GOD! The other half of you are scarred of what a family member will see. Don’t want them traumatized. Don’t want them to end up like you.
Then the more… smart is not the right word… ones fear pain. You can’t get out of that. No 100% greatest way to die. LIKE ME.
Cause maybe you don’t believe in god. No heaven, no hell, just nothing. LIKE ME.
And if you don’t kill yourself, (and most of you don’t) you get over it. When it’s a trauma, you get over it.
But then there are the very few, who don’t want to die. LIKE ME. You just want to not exist. No pain, no wants, no needs, no fears, no other’s reactions, NOTHING.
And you’ve been like that your whole life. LIKE ME.
But if not, you can have hope, cause you’ll get over it.

As for me? I’m waiting for someone to walk up to me with a gun, and shoot me in the head. DON”T MISS. But that’s not gonna happen. So I’ll keep living. More living. And I’ll die of old age. Because the world hates me. And it’ll make my life long. I know it will. It’s Merfy’s law. It’s what I deserve for being such a devil. Want me to elaborate?

If not, too bad cause I am anyways!
I’m board a lot. I have nothing to do. To young for a job. To old for day care and day camps. I dislike people because I find them petty, annoying, immature, idiots, or they think they’re to good for me. But I like watching them in pain. Not physical pain. I like breaking them down. You better hope you don’t like me. The pain has to be caused by me. I’m sure I’ve made a lot of people suicidal… but they’ll be like the majority of people on this site. Trauma, heal-able, and they’ll get over it. They wont die… It’d be cool if they did though….

I’m not all bad. I’ve helped people on this site. I can be a different point of view. I make people think. I’m good… Well, nobody can be all bad, and I always go into without the intention of breaking them… I just get board!

I’m human… unfortunately.

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