3 Things that Helped Me, Permanently

  May 31st, 2009 by thinkingabout

1. If you go to a therapist, which I very, very highly recommend, be aware that you might have to go to several before you get one you feel can really help. Reserve the energy for that and know that there is a caring, competent one out there for you, despite the ones you may meet at first. It’s worth the search, the most important search you will ever make. Don’t give up just because you may first encounter therapists you ca’t relate to. They all aren’t the same. The best are educators. They will explain how people, you and others, behave the way they do, which shifts the blame and clears a lot of confusion.

2. One therapist told me that all, ALL depressions are time-limited. The time for each person will vary, but ALL depressions end. You want to be there when yours does. It’s inevitable, even though you may not see how.

3. For many depressed people, the future is a blank, a zero. If they can even walk away from the most depressing parts of the present, still they can’t picture having a future. For me, it was accepting that which made the difference. I reached the point, after some suicide attempts, that I didn’t even have enough energy to plan or carry them out anymore. The crisises and hospitalizations had totally drained me. I was forced to find something to look forward to, to keep from going crazy. That became mealtime. So I accepted no future, and reading some mindless novels and mealtime as IT, my life. There was really no choice. This was all happening to an overachiever, and it was tough. The result was a vacuum with a lifeline to mealtime. The only life I had left. But you’ve heard the saying “Nature abhores a vacuum.” It’s true. When you totally give up, there’s space for something new to happen. Without my even trying, my life just started filling up with something else that was far better and gave me something to live for. I’m not talking religion or any philosophy. Just understanding that one day it will start lifting by itself and to find just one little thing to hang onto meanwhile that gets you through the day. There may be some valleys afterward, but not so deep. Since that historic time in my life, I’ve read the same thing happening to others. This was 35 years ago. So much amazing, wonderful stuff has happened since then, that to say I’m glad I didn’t succeed is a far understatement. Surviving those times taught me a lot and made me stronger, for myself and others.

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