i keep getting medical issues, and in highschool its just tough to deal with. And beyond that i just got diagnosed with bipolar, and i am just tired, but i know in a few hours i will be happy, and fine. I am so happy and then i get so sad, i just don’t know whether living is worth it… i know you are going to say well you’ll be happy, but then i know i will just fall again. And meds don’t work, they make it worse, and counsling does shit… God doesn’t do much either…. so i just am lost and feel done. plus everyone who talks to me on this site, believe me i’ve tried, well ends up just like sending one email and then forgeting me, and i just don’t know how long i can just keep getting rejected like this… you my families asleep, the one guy i sometimes talk to is sick of trying to fix my problems, and the only other guy who i want to talk to well its no longer an option…. im sick of this rollercoaster.
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Hello,
I m sorry to hear you suffer. Bipolar disorder can be pretty heavy load to deal with, although it can do better with time. And I think taking perscribed medicine regularly helps to suppress ups and downs. If one is not working, you should try another one. Finding a good, professional and caring doctor is crucial. And not to take alcohol or illicit drugs – they make the swing to really swing you up and down (especially THC and cocain).
Friends – they can help, but do not expect them to be professional therapists, they have their own stuff, their own limits – although it does not mean that they do not care or help!
For me, when I really feel bad, it helps to think that ending my life myself is still an option. I can do it tommorow, next week or any time. I developed attitude of “witness” – when I suffer I witness that and if it would be unbearable I still have the option.
I wish you to get better soon, Sincerely, Hugo
I was never bipolar. I just had straight depression. I know what the bad places are like, but if you’re always down, then you don’t have to see the huge contrast between up and down–or even normal and down. So your’s is different than mine, but I’ve been down Suicide Lane a number of times. It’s a dead end.
Know that there are people who love you down to each last cell in their body. You can’t really get a sense of how deep it goes until you start to get near the parenting age yourself–at least I couldn’t–so just remember that there are people who love you with more love than you’re likely to have ever experienced so far. And God loves you most of all.
God doesn’t always heal people in a flash of light. I prayed for it a lot, and I pray to die a lot, and I would daydream about being killed, and there was never a single point where anything happened that made it all the way better. For me it took a long time, and it took the help of a family (not my own) who loved me without any strings attached.
But God is still there, and things are still happening. And it’s because I spent so much of my life asking the question “Why should I keep on living today?” that I have an answer. For me to be happy, I had to practice it, as if it was a sport or a musical instrument. It just didn’t come naturally to me like it does to some people. But because I’ve practiced it so much, I can see the good in things when regular people can’t.
Sometimes things just happen to people, and bipolar is a thing. But if you hang on, the God will take it and make it into something good. Maybe, if you work through this, you’ll end up as the most balanced person you’ll ever meet.
Anyway I hope you read this whole thing. Don’t give up hope. If you can keep hope, then you can beat it. And God will never reject you. If you can, rely on God to get you through the day. You’ll learn things about God that nobody else even knows.