People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about my weight. She told me I was fat, and that she didn’t even know why my dad still loved me. I didn’t tell anyone but him, and he always comforted me, telling me it was okay.
Two years ago, I had been drugged at a party and the boy who drugged me got me pregnant. During the summer of the next year, I had the child. I did a good job of hiding him from my parents, and grew close to him. I even named him Gregory. I realized that I couldn’t have him forever, and that this was the wrong time to have a kid. I gave him to a trusted friend, who gave him up for adoption. I cried, because I loved him still.I consider myself a virgin, because at the time I DID NOT WANT THE SEX.
For the whole 7 months I was with this perfect man, I told him I was a virgin. Finally, I just told him. He broke up with me because I lied about it. I was heart broken, not only because he left, but because he promised me he would never leave again. I didn’t know what to do, I cried for several nights until finally, I got a text from his new gf saying he didnt like me anymore. After 7 months?? I couldn’t take it. I grabbed the nearest rope, a stool, and jumped.
I woke up passed out on the floor three hours later with my friends John and Kailey crying over me, and they screamed, telling me not to do it again. I told them I couldn’t live without him. I just can’t. Today, I still struggle with living without him. And today, I still attempt my death.
4 comments
you should of turned that anger and pain you felt inside to something that girl could feel. like sending a text back saying i hope you wear condoms cause he gave me blankity blank… : ) dont worry these thoughts and love will pass. i to have lost someone i am still half way stuck on after many years like 5 or 6 i think. she moved away i never had closure she was pregnant when she left, it was mine. i dont know how to contact her, no one does. I loved her i still do. but life goes on mistakes are made and you learn what kind of person you are compatible with. just ask your self how many people are in this world and how many do you know. not all of them are evil. just the whores and the assholes with no self esteem or problems so deep its never coming out. smile sweet heart everyting is going to be ok. Once your at the dark bottom of that ugly pit called suicidal thoughts there is still a choice. dont give in keep fighting. there are people to help you.
well lovely im pretty much in the same boat your in im pregnant with this wonderful guys baby and he could care less i feel lost with out him but i dont let it bring me down i try to keep a smile on my face to show him that im not goiin to let him get to me. he doesnt believ me that im havin his kid we’ll see whose lookin stupid in 9 months.
oh and hold your head up strong and walk with confidents when you see him do not show any emotions when you pass him
don’t punish yourself for what somebody else did. he decided to do what he did. he could have chosen to understand–maybe not right away or overnight, but eventually–and he could have chosen not to leave or hook up with someone new. but he chose otherwise. and that’s on him, that’s not on you. so please don’t YOU feel bad when it was all HIS decision. it’s like getting mad at the cat ’cause the dog ate your shoe… you know? 🙂
take a deep breath and think clearly… we’re all responsible for what we do and don’t do, even though you can smell the a-holes from a mile away because they throw the responsibility onto everyone BUT themselves. and we’re not responsible for what other people choose to do to us of their own free will. you are a far tougher, stronger, smarter, greater woman than that guy could ever handle. and i can say that because i doubt i could ever do what you’ve done–i would probably have had the kid aborted, etc. we need more of your kind in the world–people who know how to bounce back from the crap the world throws at them. so please, don’t give up just yet. 🙂