People used to tell me not to cry for someone, for they are not worth your tears. The one who was worth your tears would have never made you cry. I didn’t believe in that sh*t. I met this person, and fell madly in love with him because of how kind and caring he was. I was certain we would always be together, because we always talked about getting married and having kids. Mind you, I’m 16, and he’s 18. So yes, we were young. But I loved him. While we were together, I was constantly getting bombed by my all too perfect stepmother about my weight. She told me I was fat, and that she didn’t even know why my dad still loved me. I didn’t tell anyone but him, and he always comforted me, telling me it was okay.
Two years ago, I had been drugged at a party and the boy who drugged me got me pregnant. During the summer of the next year, I had the child. I did a good job of hiding him from my parents, and grew close to him. I even named him Gregory. I realized that I couldn’t have him forever, and that this was the wrong time to have a kid. I gave him to a trusted friend, who gave him up for adoption. I cried, because I loved him still.I consider myself a virgin, because at the time I DID NOT WANT THE SEX.
For the whole 7 months I was with this perfect man, I told him I was a virgin. Finally, I just told him. He broke up with me because I lied about it. I was heart broken, not only because he left, but because he promised me he would never leave again. I didn’t know what to do, I cried for several nights until finally, I got a text from his new gf saying he didnt like me anymore. After 7 months?? I couldn’t take it. I grabbed the nearest rope, a stool, and jumped.
I woke up passed out on the floor three hours later with my friends John and Kailey crying over me, and they screamed, telling me not to do it again. I told them I couldn’t live without him. I just can’t. Today, I still struggle with living without him. And today, I still attempt my death.